future214's Friends

Yesterday was a good day!  I had my last lunch at the firm and said bye to everyone.  (Had a greek salad with dressing on the side and green tea, win!).  Also went out for drinks after class, stuck to my two glasses of wine.  I had extra reason to celebrate because I found out I passed the MPRE yesterday, which isn't really THAT big of a deal, it just means no I can sit for the bar exam.  The test was easy (ethics exam) but at least that is out of the way.  All together I had about 1700 cals including the wine, and didn't workout since I was busy from 7am-9:30pm.  

Today need to make major moves on my paper, hit the gym HARD!  Going tonight to study with a friends from suffolk law that I kind of used to date but haven't talked to in a while.  He is cute so that should be fun.  We used to go get peppermint lattes.. he posted on facebook yesterday that he was drinking a peppermint latte, and not to make fun of him because a ridic good-looking blonde introduced him to them, haha.  I sent him a text and said we should grab one today so we are :) 

136 this morning, I haven't weighed in in a while!  Honestly that is about exactly what I expected.  I think my body looks really great.  I am not trying to lose anymore right now per se.  At my absolute lowest I was 129 and I don't really think I looked different from what I look like now.  I wore my smallest pair of skinny jeans last night and they were a little loose, so... what more do I want?  haha.  I guess I would just like to be a little more cut eventually.  I am just focusing on being healthy and good to my body.  I haven't binged since T-giving week so I am happy about that.  I feel so healthy lately! :)

Please help Mikiya and Penelope (my friends from college) win free wedding photography. They entered a contest and they're finalists but they need votes!! It's just one click: http://emilytakesphotos.blogspot.com/

And check out the website too - amazing photographer - too bad I didn't get married in SF.

had a very low-energy weekend... after going going going for 4 days last weekend with bf and girls (omg we had such a good time in galveston and austin) it was nice to just chill.

i did leave my cave to do my in-store shopping - finish up kellis stocking, etc... i hung a strand of lights - woohoo! that one light strand pretty much sums up my holiday spirit... wrapped everything that needed wrapping. a huge order from omaha steaks for dad, bro, and bf and im done. yay. not doing a tree - yay squared!

lost another lb. so im at 143.6 now.sigh... at least it wont take long to get my muscles back once i get back to lifting. i ran out of the anti-inflammatory meds my ortho guy gave me for my lower back thing (my broken scottie dog) and i can feel it.  soooooo i guess i will continue with no workouts for another... month? i bought NROL for women and plan to work that program. thought about starting back on some low-impact cardio. idk. cant seem to get myself to the pool either. sigh...

i need to clean the squid i got in galveston. ummm this will be interesting ha! freaky lil creatures.... once i harvest the ink maybe i will do a squid ink tat if i get bored. and then i will make squidwort cake or something. cuttlefish and octopi are soooo intelligent, makes me wonder about squid. maybe they are just awaiting their chance to take over the world. in the meantime, i will cook them and eat them. mwahaha

This weekend has been really good so far as far as eating and workout out.  I haven't gone out at all, just been relaxing at home and getting work done on my papers.  I haven't drank and have eaten really well and worked out pretty hard.  I'm so proud of myself!  I haven't had a good weekend in a long time, I feel and look really good I think.  :)  Going to the gym later this afternoon for another hard workout.

So.. Chris is coming next weekend, def going to cook dinner the first night he is here, need a menu!!!!  I'm def thinking some sort of fish or shrimp dish, lots of veggies.. something for dessert too.. hmm will have to think about this over the next week.

Tomorrow is my last day of work and class!  lunch with the firm and drinks with prof dowden.  Lunch shouldn't be bad, ill just get a greek or ceasar salad, its my standard for lunches.  Drinks I am limiting to two glasses of wine.  I haven't drank in over a week so I deserve it.  Taking tomorrow off from working out, its been 8 days in a row now so tomorrow will be a good rest/semi-cheat day.

I know lots of us were looking to have a good food/workout weekend so I hope you all did! :)

Man I am in a good mood today.  I have a lot to do but im up for it.  Im at the law library, its so nice to be able to wear jean, boots, hoop earings and a cute puffy vest instead of a suit!  I need to expand my prof wardrobe.  Right now I have enough to get by on but I don't feel like it is really "me."  I need to put some of my own style into it.  

Yest eating was really good!  I went for a 6 mile run after work.  I was dogging it though!  Hard core, so slow.  Oh well, some runs are like that I guess.   My headphones broke while I was running, sucky!  Good thing I wasn't at the gym I would have been really tempted to leave, I hate music-less workouts.  I need to go get a new pair tonight before the gym.  I have yet to find headphones that I actually like.  They never stay in my ear when I run!  Any suggestions?  I am going to lift and rock out in the spin room tonight.  Not going out tonight, up early to bust out some papers so I can see Chris!  :) :)

eats - 

bfast - eggwhite, lox, fat free cheese, fiber one english muffin

snack - coffee and apple

lunch  - huge veggie tastic salad

snack - balance bar

pre workout - idk, something involving cottage cheese, need to use that up

dinner  - finising my butternut squash stew and couscous, this is such a good dinner, tons of veggies, yumo

have a fab day people :) 

I recommended this in my journal before but I'm going to again.  Four Day Win, by Martha Beck.  Seriously, anyone who has ever had trouble with bingeing should read this book.  It is giving me a new perspective.  Warning, approx 400 pages long but so far a really good read. 

Currently don't know/care what I weigh, I am just trying to become in-tune with my body, I think i look pretty good though, def recovered from my T-giving binge disaster.

I worked out for two freaking hours yest.  I wasn't planning on it.  I was just going to lift, so I lifted pretty hard for about 50 min (legs and chest) and then I saw the spin instructor come in and she is super nice and.. well I ended up taking spin too.  haha.  I upped my cals a little to compensate yesterday and ate about 1900ish.  Really good food though.  I re-discovered a pre workout snack I used to eat all the time.  A toasted sandwhich thin spread with 1/4 cup of refried black beans, 1/4 cup of non fat cottage cheese and some salsa.  Really good snack for before or after a workout.  I had butternut squash stew and cous cous for dinner that i made and froze a few weeks ago, it was so good, I might make another pot of it this weekend. 

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/food-network-kitchens/spi ced-butternut-squash-stew-with-couscous-recipe/index.html

I have just returned home from the doctor's. It's not bad news and it's not good news. Just hope and pray for the best news.

I wish they would have warned me, but he did another test. He said my last test has an abnormal cell count (? I'm not sure if that's exactly what he said). He leaves the room for me to get undressed and all I can do is stare at the letter from Cancer Care Manitoba sitting on his desk. Cancer Care? Are you kidding me? I know I'm jumping the gun here, but there IS NO WAY IN HELL I could ever tell my kid I had cancer! I don't care about ME just HER, and she's already gone through it and watched her dad die from this SHIT, and I'll be damned if this test is coming back positive a 2nd time. (results in 1 week)

So here I am driving home thinking HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA DO THIS?Stress of the test-Stress of Christmas- thinking I'm going to have to sell my truck- thinking about how there will be no Christmas baking because how am I going to afford ingredients??? LOL I'm pathetic. Everything starts overwhelming me and I start tearing up while I'm driving!!

Fast forward to me checking the mailbox. (I didn't bother going back to work) I got a gift card from a friend that I made through chat right here on CC. Seems my daughter will now be getting what she wanted for Christmas, thanks to this person. And I cried again. 

I just don't know what to do for this person to thank them. . . so another dilemma. HA!

No matter what you believe at this time of year- something is different. My heart feels different. Hopeful. I guess I have to be.

The last month has been truly bizarre. My periods have been tough lately, but I just had the period from hell, which finally prompted me to go to the gynecologist (I was 3 months or so overdue for my checkup). After some tests, they discovered that I have an 11 cm fibroid tumor growing on my uterus. Dizzamn!

It was a bit shocking, especially since most women don't develop this type of tumor until they are significantly older than me. It was also slightly infuriating that it hadn't occurred to any of the gynecologists I have seen to give me a pelvic ultrasound earlier, considering that I have been complaining about bad periods for years. Even without ultrasound, they should have found it on pelvic examination, as it is freakin huge. Meh, nothing I can do about it now.

I just got back from a consultation with a surgeon, and have scheduled my myomectomy for January 6th. She will remove the big tumor and any others that they can find, then stitch my uterus back together. While they are in there, she'll also check for endometriosis, adhesions, and various other problems. She said that she won't know if I am capable of having children until she opens me up and can see the extent of the damage. Recovery time will be 4 - 6 weeks.

As crappy as all this is, there are plenty of things that are good:

• I finally know why I don't feel well, and it isn't all in my mind.
• I'm not a wimp for sometimes calling out sick from work when I have my period, as I have an 11 cm tumor.
• It isn't cancer.
• I wondered why I still had a gut after losing 30 lbs. Now I know - the surgeon said that my uterus is the same size as it would be if I was 4 months pregnant. So, I should lose some inches once I get rid of this thing.

Woohoo!

Also, I am now taking suggestions for tumor names. I was initially going to name it Larry Hughes, after my husband's least favorite NBA player, but he said that it would be too insulting to the tumor. So, what should I name it?

And by the way, my new boots are awesome.

I have been bingeing and drinking too much and not even working out!  Yeesh.  Well I am driving home tonight, so it was going to be day FIVE.. yes... FIVE of no working out.  Well I couldn't let that happen so I woke up at 5:30 and did a 7 mile run and made a good bfast and packed a healthy spinach salad for lunch.  I feel a little better.  a LITTLE.  I need to get back to my old healthy habbits and stop bingeing!  I have work all day, class tonight where I have to present my paper to the class, then I'm driving home after class (6 hours), looking forward to being able to relax.  Any by relax I mean, not at all because I have tons of work to do.  Home usually means overeating for me so I hope that doesn't happen.  Actually no, I'm saying now it WON'T happen.  I need to wake up every morning I am home and get some kind of exercise in and then make a reasonable plan for food for the day.  Prob going out wed night, just hope I don't binge when I come home, going to try to keep the drinks to a min.  Also not weighing in for a while i know its bad right now.

Anyways I don't mean to be a downer, just trying to clear my head.

So for the past two days I've been hanging out at a friend's house in the evenings. We watch tv, have a bit of dinner, and relax. Well, the relaxation then begins with her asking, "Would you like some wine?" and I say "sure", but she keeps refilling my glass to which I just think "yay wine!" 

Well, yesterday I drank more red wine than intended, especially on a weekday when I have to get to work the next morning. So around 5am, I woke up with a slight headache and it just got me thinking. I've been drinking a lot lately. Every Friday my girlfriends and I get together for drinks, and it usually turns into a big night out. So, while prior I went out every once in a while, Friday drinks night has turned it into a regular thing.

Also, this Sunday I was going to have an American Thanksgiving here and one of my friends said that it'd be great because I was planning on taking the following Monday off for digestive purposes. She then quipped, "Yeah we can just eat and drink lots of wine and get drunk." 

I also have a friend's party to go to on Saturday, along with drinks planned on Friday.

So, last night while I was laying awake thinking about the pending weekend ahead, as well as how much I've been going out lately, and I decided that something needs to change. Thus, I'm going to stop drinking so much. I'll still be social and go out, but I'm severly limiting my intake.

Think of all of the calories I'll save not to mention money!