geans's Journal

Same Shit.

Dec 14 2009 12:09

Fed up with not having any clothes, or my old clothes all having holes in them, I went shopping this weekend.

I got nothing but an eyeful in the dressing room. I have no idea what I weigh. I don't think I have weighed in a year, and I came home empty-handed.

I know that this WORKS. It's not that hard. So, here I go again. What motivated me last year was the desire to catch the attention of a guy who married some other girl even though I lost whatever weight. My motivation this time is much the same. We'll see.

Last time I tried this, a month ago, I logged one meal and quit. Here goes.

Hello, Old Friend

Nov 09 2009 09:39

No, for real THIS time. Seriously. It's a Monday and everything.

For real this time.

Apr 27 2009 12:17

Seriously.

Back on, with Zeal

Jan 08 2009 13:36

I am going to weigh myself tonight. I have to. Haven't since October, and I know it's probably going to be terrible, but once I do that, I can get back to the business of rockin' it.

Because there's nothing I hate like recoiling from someone getting too close to you because you feel fat.

What's funny is that 2008 taught me that I can do it, clearly, and that it isn't that hard. I just quit for whatever reason.

Completely off the wagon

Dec 19 2008 13:39

I'm back at that point where I'm afraid of the scale. I don't want to know how much I have put back on.

Today I noticed that my 12s were tight. Like, wouldn't-want-to-wear-without-this-sweatshirt tight. And, looking at the pictures from this weekend...I can tell. I had that terror-inducing feeling when you see yourself from an uncontrolled angle.

Ugh. So, I'm starting back again with great zeal. Am I going to:

a) eat too little at the beginning? Starve myself?
b) head for that box of chocolate as soon as I post this?
c) make it awesomely through the rest of the day and go berzerk when I get home?

...maybe. But, hell, maybe not.

Looks like I will not be wearing still-unworn red dress on my birthday in like two weeks. But, that's okay. I'll rock it on Valentine's?

I'm mad that I have to work that much harder.

Oct 10 2008 23:46

178, REALLY? This is a bad feeling.

Ugh. So I have been slacking off on all my efforts, and for the first time since January, the scale's gone up a little bit. I'm trying to blame hormones for this one, but what a wake up call to get back on track.

Crazy

Aug 25 2008 13:51

I went so crazy this weekend. So crazy.

I ate things I don't even...like. So, today I'm back on track. (sigh) What happened to my steely determination from earlier in the year--when I was struggling to reach even 1200 and hit the gym every other day?

12

Aug 06 2008 08:57

Pants are still kind of iffy, I can't find any that fit right so I carry on with my way baggy 16/14's. But, in dresses I'm a 12, and that makes me superhappy. There was a time when 12 was like, a mystery number that existed only in fairytales.

I've been afraid of the scale again lately, although I'm pretty sure I'm not gaining. I've been sooo good during the day, but when I come home from work it's like a switch flips in my brain. So, I'm making up for it by staying really low during the day...I don't need much "energy" for my job...and, believe me, I make up for it in the evenings.

*sigh*

12...yay!

Triumphant Return to the Gym

Jul 14 2008 14:27

Well, triumphant for me, anyways...we'll see when I get there if my swipey card still works!

I am writing this because if I don't go to the gym, I will feel quilty about it. Speaking of guilt, I went nuts---NUTS this weekend, eating all the junk I could find. I don't know what caused that! Maybe it's hormones...but, really, a giant thing of Java Chip ice cream in the middle of the day is SO not something I do any more.

Lately I have really been feeling like crap about myself. So, yes. For all of the emotional and physical plusses...back to the gym I go.

In the mid-170s...FINALLY

Jun 20 2008 09:11

It's official...the damn scale needle has moved far enough away from 180 that I don't feel like I'm kidding myself when I say I am anything other than 180. It's totally 175 now. That's 23 lbs!

I was there for so, so long. I read somewhere that you hit a plateau when you lose 10% of your weight, which is exactly where I was. So I hope that was all that it was, and I can start seeing the slow, steady drop like I was seeing in Feb and March.

Also, I changed my goal weight. Maybe that's cheating, but I upped it from 135 to 154, because I guess my short-term goal is not to have an overweight BMI anymore. Once I get there...then we'll see about getting into that bikini in time for Vegas in December. :)

I love this site. So much.