gypy04's Journal

so, today, we ran out of food in my house, so I had to order some food for me and my daughter, cause I couldn't go to the grocery store, and peapod doesn't deliver in my area.  I bought like the healthiest things on the menu that I could find... Got an omelette for breakfast and a veggie burger for lunch... I haven't eaten the veggie burger yet... but i ended up eating most of my daughters french toast.... I can't believe how crappy i feel now... I notice that anytime i eat something that is not so healthy anymore it makes me feel crappy.  I don't mean emotionally crappy, although that does too, i mean like physically, internally crappy... I don't feel healthy... Maybe it could be the syrup and all the bread that i ate... along with cheese and regular eggs... I usually eat egg whites... I'm not used to eating like whole eggs anymore.... The reason why i didn't get the eggs substituted is because I know what restaurants use for egg whites... and it's not very appetizing... So I went with the "real" eggs.... (restaurant egg whites are disgusting>>  If you ever go to a restaurant...as them to use real eggs) but, i didn't do that, cause I don't really trust people who make my food, and I didn't want them to do anything gross to the food, so i try not to piss them off... And believe me... I've seen it done... I've been working in various restaurants for about 10 years now, and it's gross... Thats why i always make my own food... Anyway... I don't feel good...

Also, I haven't had time to go to the gym lately, and I haven't even really had time to come on to calorie count.  The only reason why I am on here right now, is because I really had to get some things off my chest... Midterms are coming up in a week and I have been constantly studying... and I have a 3 huge projects due at the same time, plus my regular daily homework... It's just alittle stressful right now.  I haven't had any sleep lately... I was supposed to go to my mom's house last night, since i haven't seen her and she hasn't seen my daughter in like a month... I told her i would be there at 6:30 and I would bring bagels and stuff... I was reading my western civ book before i went there... trying to study alittle before i went there, and I ended up falling asleep, and not even going... I woke up at 9 pm and called her... and i felt so bad... She had already gone to sleep but i talked to her boyfriend... Sometimes i think that i have everything undercontrol,and then the next its all out of control.. I am getting so stressed out... I'm not loosing any weight,.... I think it is probably because i eat the exact same thing everyday... and my body is probably used to it... I don't sleep either and I am convinced that that is another reason why... when i was getting two days of at least 8 hours of sleep a week i was loosing weight.  Now, i dont' even get that on my days off... and ever since i haven't lost anything... and i am going between 222 and 223.  No 221.... ah... hopefully soon...
I'm not worried at all about thanksgiving or christmas, like other people... I haven't spent any holidays with family and food in years... I always have to work... Never get to spend it with my family... and it's funny cause i 'm  the one with the yound child, and the people that have no kids always end up being off... Gotta do something about that... Oh well whatever...

On another note... I finally splurged and bought myself something that I have wanted for like years... and never had the gaul to buy it for myself because it was expensive and i would have felt extremely guilty for buying myself something and not using the money to buy somebody else something... I've never done that before... I'm usually spending hundreds of dollars on other people because thats just the way i am... so now... I bought myself a palm treo phone.. cause I have wanted a nice pda, and cell phone for the longest time... and the palm treo is both... plus it's an mp3 player,.  something i don't have, and has gps... can't wait till tomorrow.. should be here... Oh well, i should stop now,cause i have written a book... gotta go study some more...