helloyesitsme's Journal

Some good and some bad
Nov 08 2009 09:16

The past 2 weeks have been filled with such ups and downs.

I arrived in Thailand on the 27th October and signed the contract for my new job on the 28th. I also met A on that day and it really felt as if nothing had happened.

On the 29th I traveled up to the village where I will be teaching, near Sakon Nakhon, 10 hours north east of Bangkok. It's really small and there is only 1 other foreigner here. Most of the teachers can speak some English, or attempt to but I have to admit, even though I am misanthropic I am missing interaction with people who can understand me. I don't know how long I can ke-ep talk-ing li-ke th-is.

I really haven't had anytime to myself since I got here. I am the first native English teacher to have worked at the school, so they've assigned me a buddy who takes me out every night for dinner and generally makes sure I always have something to do. Which is great, it really is.

I'm finding dieting a nightmare because the Thai's eat ALL THE TIME, let alone calorie counting. There is always food in the office in the morning, they eat massive lunches. Then after work they'll have a veritable "feast" as a snack and then say that they are hungry and need to go out to dinner. They are always giving me food but also are always telling me that I am very fat and that I need to lose weight. They don't mean it nastily, because if they did they wouldn't say it to my face. I've had offers of joining them for badminton and aerobics. The funny thing is that I have a bicycle so that I can cycle into work. Now most Thai's have a scooter, but I can't ride one hence the bicycle. But they are always saying that they are worried about me riding my bike because I will get tired, but I say I will lose weight!

When I do get the small snatches of time to myself, I can't stop thinking about A and his new girlfriend. Especially as we are still talking. I think the biggest thing that has upset me is he says that they are having unprotected sex but she says that she's on the pill. Two things are upsetting me about this. Firstly - IS HE A F'ING MORON???!!! She'll trap him into marriage by getting pregnant because where he is living most girls want to marry a farang (foreigner). But secondly, all the time we were together, he never trusted me and always used protection. So I just have to face it, he NEVER wanted to have a family with me.

That is the most bitter pill to swallow about the whole breakup. Especially as I'm turning 32 next birthday and my symptoms of my PCOS are getting worse. I can feel a large cycst on my right ovary and who knows, I may not even be able to get pregnant at all but I've never even tried. I spoke to him about that and he said it was because we were never settled or always traveling. But he's not even settled in NBD.

So enough of the negative points. My positive points are:

- I've complete 20 classes in my first week with class sizes ranging from 8 - 42.

- I've spoken 2 times in front of the whole school of 2200 students and staff (and I have a fear of public speaking).

- I've done this all by myself.

Now I'm going to go and try and find some scales in this town...