heylaurel's Journal

Lake George!
Jul 04 2009 12:55

So yesterday was rough. We went to the Grist Mill for my father/grandfather's birthday and the food was tempting and delicious. I ordered sashimi tuna with asian slaw, probably not healthy but not as terrible as the crab-stuffed-salmon over cream sauce and fettucine that I wanted. I had a piece of carrot cake also, but again not as terrible as eating my sister's and cousin's slice in addition to my own, which I very much wanted to do.

I am feeling motivated but heavy also. Molly told me that Melissa lost 20 lbs! She only weighed about 140 to begin with and is 5'8", so she was very thin. Now Molly is worried about her own weight too. It makes me feel awful because these tall, skinny, beautiful girls are so focused on getting even thinner, ugh.

Confession: I am so sick and tired of having Grandpa tell me how beautiful I am. Correction: I am so sick and tied of having Grandpa tell me how beautiful he THINKS I am. It's hard to hear over and over again when I feel so fat and and I know he would say it even if I looked awful, so it's meaningless.

Weighing myself tomorrow because my grandpa has a real scale, not a digital one. I'm nervous. Bah!