hharris9's Journal

Home for the holidays.. :/
Dec 22 2008 03:43

Like any good college student, I bounded home for the holidays this year after several weeks of classes, exams, and copious amounts of stress over final grades... I had been totally resolved to get back into working out now that I'd FINALLY have time. Right?? Right???

Wrong.

/sigh... I got home and was good the first few days. Unfortunately, my digital scale got soaked in the bathroom and no longer works, so I have no idea what damage I've done since. (Which is bad, since I don't want to turn a blind eye.) The baking began. Fudge and cookies and chocolate turtles and sweets like you wouldn't believe! A taste here and there, a dinner out with an attempted healthy choice... but no. I've deeefinitely been having too much. I'd say I've already gained at least 1-2lbs and I've only been home a week! As for the exercise, I've been so busy trying to get my shopping done, baking, and... well, just being unmotivated, that I haven't gone once. I look back at my pictures from when I was 126.5 and going EVERY day and wishing I could have that again.

In May, I'm going to France for 3 weeks to fulfill my study abroad requirement (I have a concentration in International Business) and I'll be working during the spring semester to help pay for it. I guess I just know that when I get back to school, I won't have time to keep up the exercise, so I'm reluctant to start... :( Still, I don't want to lose my progress.

I'm thinking of CC'ing again, starting as soon as I get back to school (but still watching the healthiness of my foods now). I've been maintaining at 123, but gaining in inches, due to the lack of exercise. If I'm going to continue not to exercise, I really think I should be maintaining closer to 120. (Bear in mind I'm 125 now, probably.)

Even though I see the change from last year, I guess I'm just a little down on myself lately. This was hard work, and I won't let myself backslide. No food tastes good enough to make me feel ok with being unhealthy.

September Update
Oct 15 2008 10:33

Well, I know [this update] is late in coming... but September was a great month :) Being back at school means I've been FAR more active, and that + maintaining my weight rather than losing means that I can have more calories! ;) I pretty decently stayed between 123-126. I sort of kind of got myself into an exercise routine too, so I feel like I'm definitely firming up! I've noticed muscles in new places :P Which was a nice change. I don't think I've ever had muscular thighs before this!

Its interesting to watch my body change. I'm doing crunches like crazy to try and tighten up my stomach. I even felt so good about myself that I ordered this Halloween costume!

Anddddd... I finally got my belly button pierced :) It was my very last reward, for hitting my goal weight, maintaining it for a little while, and getting into better shape! It definitely keeps me going back to the gym. This Saturday will be 6 weeks since I had it done. I wash it obbbbbsessively, so it never had any problem with infection. Supposedly I can change it this weekend, but I'm really nervous to... I'm thinking of ordering a cute ring to go under the halloween costume (maybe this?) and just waiting an extra week to change it. No sense in not giving it a little extra time to heal! I'm in no hurry :P

Well, all in all a productive month. I think I have this maintenance thing figured out now. As long as I average around 1400-1500cal/day I stay at my same weight. If I go WAY over one day, I just cut it back to 1200 for a few days until I'm back to normal :) I eat pretty healthily - though the occasional cupcake or ice cream slips in ;) But hey, as long as I'm willing to go work it off, what's the harm? :D

I've thought a little about trying to get down to 120, but IDK if I'll pursue that or not. I don't think it'd be that much work... I'd just cut out all of the junk for 2 weeks and probably hit it no problem. I want to have a little more definition, and while my body is fine as it is, there's still a little layer of "insolation" making that difficult at this point. (Mostly, I want to see a little definition in my stomach.) I've always had a bit of a pooch, and now is no exception. Like I said, its not life or death to me, but I may give it a try at some point. We'll see :)

Measurements!
Aug 19 2008 10:46

So I found my measurements from back at 143.2lbs, and took them again today at 124.5lbs :) Thought some of you might like to see the difference! I'm not sure what I should be aiming for, but it looks like my waist to hip ratio is like .69-.70. any advice about what a healthy measurement goal might be is absolutely welcome, as I need something to shoot for!!!

Chest (Bust)
Now: 32.5
Loss: 2.5

Chest (Band)
Now: 28.5
Loss: 2.5

Bicep (Not flexing)
Now: 10
Loss: 1

Natural Waist
Now: 25.5
Loss: 3.5

Tummy (just above hip bones where I sort of "pooch" + Love handles)
Now: 30.5
Loss: 3

Butt (Largest part)
Now: 37
Loss: 3.25

Each Thigh (Largest part of 1)
Now: 21
Loss: 2.75

Weight Lost (Between the measurements taken)
Now: 124.5lbs
Loss: 18.7lbs

Looks like pretty even weight loss all around, lol! :)

August Update
Aug 01 2008 13:06

Darn it!!!

I had done pretty well - not stellar, but pretty well. I started July at 129.5 and was down to 126.0 in 3 weeks... until my little sister's birthday. I was working out 3x per week pretty regularly, and then that one weekend just  completely threw my progress and confidence. Of course, I'm sure that that weekend wasn't all of it... my daily caloric average was 1400 this month. I knew I was getting close to the point of maintenance, so I decided to up the cals in order to get more used to what I'd be doing. Way to jump the gun on that one, Heather.

But still.. it was really that weekend that killed me. What bugs me most was that I didn't think that it was THAT bad. We went to outback, and I managed to stay away from the cheese fries and limit myself to 2 slices of bread, no butter. Then I had a shrimp/scallop griller, no rice, extra veg, no salad. I'd only had 400 cal before that, so I probably went right up to about my burn (1650ish). Then... I had dairy queen cake. A 500cal slice of it. Yikes. That was bad, yeah, but that's like what... 1/7th of a pound? No big deal. Saturday, I ate up to maintenance, including another piece of that cake. Sunday, I was pretty good. So I MIGHT have gained a pound at MOST but Monday morning... my weight was at 129.0! YIKES. All of my progress GONE. I knew a lot of it was just water retention, so I tried to chill out... As the week has worn on, though, i'm back down to 127.5... still, I don't know how I gained 1.5lbs on not that much extra. I might've had an extra 2000cals. Though I'm doubtful it was even that much, and that'd still be just over 1/2lb. That kind of worries me about maintaining. =/ Maybe my metabolism has slowed a little and I'm not really burning in the 1600's. Maybe it's closer to 1500 =( I guess I'm be sure to actually MAKE it to my goal before deciding to move into maintenance mode again.

Still... just 2 and a half pounds away! And the "please, god, let me be there.." goal is August 18th, when I move back into my dorm at shcool. So I've got 2.5weeks. 1lb per week and I could be maintaining by the time a get to school. That'd be awesome because I'm right across the street from the gym and all of that. I'm thinking about taking a pilates class and maybe this one called "Butts and Guts" but we'll just see what I have time for =) If I don't take them, i'll make sure I'm getting a workout a few days a week one way or another! :)

So that was July. Really depressing, defeating July. But even when it gets like that, you can't let yourself backslide. You've just got to get it together and come back stronger! And that's what August will be all about! :D

July Update
Jul 03 2008 09:11

Update:

Well, I'm down to 128.5 as of this morning! I swear, its like my scale skips while numbers... I've been 129.5 for a few days, and working hard, and suddenly, we totally skip 129.0! Oh well, I'm not complaining ;) Its a brand new scale and has thus far been consistent with my doctor's!

Anyways, the last month has been full of craziness. My metabolism finally caught up to me and I couldn't lose anymore... so I had to cycle my calories, which caused me to gain at first, but I'm losing much faster now and am almost back to where I was! (128.0) The goal is still 125.0, but I'm sort of to that point where I feel like I'm healthy and pretty happy with myself, so I'm not rushing it. I'm kind of hoping to be back around that by August 15th, when I leave for school again. That's about 5 weeks to lose 3.5lbs - sounds pretty reasonable. It's really more important to me now that I keep the exercise up! :D

I am ridiculously pumped about getting back to school purely so that I can go and rock climb again! I've worked so hard, and I want to see how much I can do. (I've been using an indoor wall up at school) I'm supposed to get my new colorguard rifle (I don't do it anymore, but I did in highschool - with the marching band) sometime before Monday (I hope its today!) and I think that spinning it again will really help me, come rock-climbing! I'm also going to play tennis (recreationally) up at school, and if I get in good enough shape, I might even try to play an intermural with my (Co-Ed) fraternity!

So we'll see how things go :) I'm a little afraid that as I near my goal, I might start letting myself revert to the way I used to be or that I'll slip, but this is a lifestyle change, and I'm determined to keep it that way!!! :D

Thanks everyone!

June Update
Jun 03 2008 09:00

Update:

As of the beginning of June, I am down to 134lbs! (Hooray!) However, I've found myself yo-yo'ing since March. We went on a cruise for a week, which was wonderful, and I was wearing my bikini almost proudly at about 135lbs! ;) Anyway, I gained back up to 140 after the cruise, but when I got back, I began losing again.

By April, I was back in pretty good shape (aside from being sick a few days)! In early May, we had semester finals... which put me in the library not exercising and eating a lot of junk. Plus moving back home for the summer, plus a family trip to Gatlinburg... so I pretty much halted the diet for a little while in May.

Mid-May, however, I got back into it for good, and I'm back to that pre-cruise weight at 134. Now I'm aiming for 125, and more exercise! Here's to finally breaking out of the 130's! :) Thanks, CC!

Post-Cruise Weight
Mar 23 2008 17:38

Well, I had officially gotten down to 135 before I left for my cruise :)

We had an absolute blast, and the food was amaaaazing. It was really difficult to try to eat healthily. There was food around all of the time, and it felt like there was nothing to do but eat! Unless you were having salad or fruit, nothing there seemed healthy at all, though. I did well my first 2 days, eating mostly fruit and some chicken, but I finally decided that I was just going to let myself have (reasonably) what I wanted, as long as I worked it off when I got back. I mad an effort to stay away from potatoes, rice, ice cream, cake, and too much bread, and I tried to load up on fruit before the meal, so that I wouldn't be as hungry for the high-cal foods.

...The result? Well, I usually weigh in the morning before I eat ANYTHING, so I'm trying to take it with a grain of salt. I weighed mid-day today, after lunch and a few snacks, and I was at 140.0 even. I have to sigh a little bit at the work to be done, but I have to be honest, I'm REALLY glad to be getting back on my diet. I just felt so guilty eating all of those things. I tried to tell myself that this was a vacation, and that I should leave the diet alone and just enjoy it, but it was so hard! I kept thinking about how my stomach was starting to fill out again and that I was undoing all of my hard work, and it became difficult to just hog-out on food. (which is a good thing, I'm sure...)

In some ways, I'm really glad that I felt guilty about it. It shows that I really DO want this to be a lifestyle change. I'm not going to ENJOY eating that way every again. I can enjoy delicious food guilt-free in smaller portions, but binging like that isn't even appealing anymore.  So we're all thinking "Why didn't you just go work out?" and I have to say that I did the first day... but the gym was so small that it was PACKED. People were in lines for machines and there was very little room for floor-exercises. I managed to do both that first day, but finally just decided that I'd deal with it when I got back... Boo, me.

Anywho, I'm excited to be back on my diet, and to watch the numbers drop (again)! I think I've decided to revise my goal to 125 and to attempt to reach that by August 1st, 2008. If I should get to my current goal, 130, and decide that I needn't be any smaller, I'll certainly stop. I'd like to work off the last 5-7lbs exercising, but with school being so hectic at the end of the year, there's little chance of that until mid-May. I'm hoping to learn to swim (more than just dog paddle) this summer, and to start working out regularly :) But we'll see how that goes!

So just an update. I'm kind of hoping that when I weigh myself on that blank haven't-eaten-yet slate tomorrow, I'll only be 138.5ish, but I strongly doubt it. I'm hoping to be back to 135 in two weeks. Woo hoo!

Good luck to my fellow calorie counters, and thanks for reading! :)  

Why I'm here...
Jan 27 2008 12:23

I feel like, even if it is just for myself, I need to write out why I'm trying to do this. Why am I trying to lose weight? What will sticking to this plan mean to me? How is it going to be any different this time?

Recently, my father was diagnosed as a type 2 diabetic. It runs in the family, and appears to be related to obesity. Since he has gone to the doctor and begun taking care of himself, he has gone from off-the-charts to well under normal. As a nearly 20 year old college student, I'm bordering overweight, but still slightly in the normal range. Still, I know that genetics is against me, and I've seen myself letting go a bit recently. I am 5'5'' and about 150lbs. While I classify myself as being fairly inactive, I go rock climbing a few hours a week or to do SOMETHING physical. On the other hand, I sit in class for several hours a day, take the bus back to the dorm (since its been about 20 degrees here for the last few weeks...), and have a desk job interning for a company. It feels like I'm physical when I have time to be - and between classes, homework, and work, that's a rare occasion.

In about 6 weeks, I'll be going on a cruise with my family for spring break (we opted for a trip instead of Christmas this year). Last year was my first visit to the Caribbean - just my mother and myself. I was so excited to be there, but I never stepped foot in the ocean once. I was on a big, beautiful boat with a bunch of tiny, beautiful people, and I just felt too self conscious. I know that I'm starting with only 6  weeks until the vacation, but my goal is to lose 10lbs before I leave. I'd love nothing more than to feel like I can actually enjoy the vacation and the water, rather than hiding from it.

Which brings me to calorie counter. When I found this website, I began looking up foods that I ate frequently. (Being on campus, its difficult to find much healthy food..) What I realized completely floored me. A salad I'd been getting from Quiznos in an effort to diet was in fact 1000 calories. A lot of the snack foods I'd been eating were loaded with fat and carbs. I know now that I was probably taking in 2500calories a day at least. Then, I began looking up foods that I thought I might enjoy, that would fill me up, and that were better for me. I realized that I could have the light progresso soups, pretzels, yogurt, cereal (special K), and as much salad (with light italian dressing) as I wanted for significantly less than I had been eating. I went to the store and stocked up on a few things that would provide a healthier snacking alternative. Now, my goal has become to eat 1300calories per day. I'm literally cutting my diet in half.

I know I asked myself why it would be different this time. What's going to keep me dedicated? This time, I have a time limit and a goal. I've always had a goal before; I've just never seriously thought that I could reach it. I aim, by summer, to be back to 130lbs. When school is out and I'm just working, then working out and exercising will be much more doable. Right now, I simply don't have the time to spare. I think that the biggest difference is that I am realizing that I don't have to eat less, I just have to change what I'm eating. I can still be full and satiated, I just have to eat things that are better for me.

So there you have it. I am going to give it my all this time - so that in six weeks, I can be a thinner, more confident, less embarassed, healthier me. :)