k192's Journal

tired and sad
Jul 16 2009 08:45

I haven't been sleeping now for about 3 weeks.  I can get a few hours on some nights.  Today my mood is down.  The dr. started me on medication that has the side effect of gaining weight.  I think I would rather not sleep then gain all my weight that I've lost back.  I've already gained 7 lbs. baack.  I promised my self that I would weigh less then 200 lb.s by oct..  That is my sons wedding.  My daughter got married last year and I looked terrible as the mother of the bride.  God I don't know what to do.  When I don't sleep I crash.  I don't want to crash and end up in the hospital again.  Since my daughters wedding I had lost 32 lbs before this weight gain.  Of course my self worth is worthless right now.

it's monday
May 25 2009 23:51

today has been a good calorie day.  I also got started back on my workout.  This past several weeks I have slacked on working out now it is time to get started again.  I reset my weight goal today.  I want to lose 15-25 lbs. by the end of sept and the first of oct..  That gives me four months to accomplish this.  I have to goals, one is my son wedding and the other is a trip to mexico with a few people that my husband works with.  Its a five diamond all inclusive resort.  I would really like to be atleast 15 lbs. less.  That would put me losing 40 lbs. since last year when they seen me at our last get together.

It's monday
May 04 2009 10:02

It's monday and I am coming off of a lousy weekend of eating.  I am not even going to weigh today.  Trying to give myself a chance to redeem myself before the scales.  I ate alot of junk food this weekend.  I know it is tied up with my mood.  I got disturbing news with my children this weekend.  I guess the worst is my son is one of the many who lost jobs due to closing of his company.  He had just bought a house about 11 months ago and is due to get married this oct..  A mom can't help but worry!

to long to wait and write in journal
Apr 29 2009 12:23

It's been a while since I have wrote in my journal.  I am feeling good today and been going through groups checking out how things are going for the others.  I weighed in yesterday and had lost a few oz.'s from last week, well that is better then gaining.  Especially since this past weekend was family birthday weekend and I have had so many dinners to attend.  Plus the big cake and ice cream party.  I have one more big event to attend and that is my moms b/day on friday.  Decideg to miss the cake deal and spend sat. with her.  We are going to do a light picnic.  At the rate that I am going I am not staying on track with the chart I made for my weight loss.  I have not been working on on schedule this past week either.  I will do better this coming week.  My weeks for weight and exercise charting is from we. thru to the following tues.

Went to therapy yesterday.  Had a very postive session.  Finally after all these years I am really doing very well with my depression. "yea"

having a good day
Apr 22 2009 11:09

I am having a good day today.  I have had a few rough days.  MIGRANE, yes it was as bad as I printed.  However the sun is out and I am up working on things around the house and I thought I would take a few minutes to catch up in here.  Went to therapy yesterday even with the migrane.  I had a something  on my heart to talk with him about.  Maybe this thing is what caused my migrane.  I struggle with bad memorys of childhood past and something happened this weekend to cause a flashback.   Did good, got past the moment and did not let it get me down.

good day
Apr 17 2009 12:59

I am having a good day.  I started my day at 5a.m..  That is very unusual for me.  I have gone to the grocery store and straighten up my house.  I am fixing to go out into the beautiful day and enjjoy the sun for awhile.  I haven't weighed today.  It is the girl time of month and I am afraid to.  I will wait a couple of days.  Don't want to lose this good mood.

new day
Apr 15 2009 10:09

  The holidays are over and its time to get back on track and that is what I am doing.  I started calorie counting yesterday.  I started my walking back also.  I watched the biggest loser last night that hleps to keep me motivated.

didn't survive easter / but could have been worse
Apr 13 2009 09:39

  I knew I wouldn't do very well on easter.  I went to my sisters for our family get together.  Everything was fat food.  Basically all CARBS,  Pasta this pasta that.  And the deserts!!!  I didn't do as bad as I could have, I only fixed and ate one plate with limited amounts of food on it.  Then for desert, I think I ate the lightest one there.  Fresh grapes mixed with coconut and yes cream chesse.  I refuse today to have guilt though.  Today is a new day and with yet another beginning.  This time though, I didn't go crazy with all the food.  So in short I am kinda proud of myself.

easter weekend
Apr 11 2009 09:19

  It is saturday morning and the holiday weekend is beginning.  Getting together with all my sisters and brother and there family today.  HONEYBAKED HAM-I know I will be weak!!!  Then easter sunday my husband and children are doing an afternoon cookout.  Do I stand a chance to make it through this.  I am weak when it comes to those once in a great while events.

behind on weight loss goal
Apr 09 2009 09:11

I have lost 24lbs since june 9, 2008.  I was so proud of myself.  But these last few months all I have done is yoyo backwards and forwards.  I weight 212.5 right now.  I have been done to 207, that was three weeks ago and now I am back up to 212.  I really want to get atleast 7 more pounds off by may the 18th.  My husband and I are going away for a few days and we are flying.  I sure would like to be able to not have to use the seatbelt extender.    Everyone keeps telling me how good I am doing.  I think it is giving me a false sense of security.

k192