kalira77's Journal

Bouncing off the walls
Jun 16 2009 15:08

Got back from NC yesterday.  Phantom was great, even if we were in the balcony.  BTW, really weird seating there -- apparently there are three levels in that theatre, so we were directly over the mezzanine level, and it kinda felt like I was right on top of the stage.  In fact, we were basically on the same level as the very top of the outer stage dressings (the stuff that looks like the Paris Opera House -- angels, etc.) so I could look straight across at the Phantom when he would show up up there.  Couldn't completely see a few things that went on higher up in the upstage, but wasn't that bad.  Man, I miss seeing musicals.  The good ones are like drugs to me...  At some point I am going to go up and invade my brother's apartment so I can hop, skip, and jump my way over to Broadway to see a few shows.  Must start saving now...

Oh yeah, and in a weird and completely random twist of fate, it turns out that the guy playing Raoul's family did theatre at the theatre my family's involved in when he was little.  I don't remember him, but my mom recognized his name when I brought the playbill back.  This is no small feat considering how small this theatre's family is.

I did gain 0.2 pounds while I was down there, but I'm hoping to lose that and a little extra by official weigh-in on Friday so I won't feel like I slacked off completely this week.

Week 5
Jun 12 2009 10:53

Down only 0.2 pounds this week at weigh-in time.  I have to remember to stop eating so many sodium-rich foods the day before weigh-in.  Had a pickle, soy sauce, and cottage cheese, among other things, yesterday.  Well, the weight loss seems to be going slow, but that's how it's supposed to be, I guess.  Bleh.  I know it's supposed to go slow, but I really wish I was at the end now.  I also need to find new ways to put more veggies in my diet.  I'm bad about them, and I know I don't eat nearly as many as I'm supposed to to be healthy.  I like a few, but overall they just seem so unappetizing to me.  I'll probably be trolling this site for recipes I can try in the near future.

Anyway, on to bigger and better things.  I'm going down to NC to see my best friend from college today and will be staying down there for the weekend.  We're going to go see Phantom of the Opera while I'm there (why yes, I am a musical theatre dork. How'd you guess? :-D ).  Should be fun!

Week 4: getting better
Jun 09 2009 09:27

Weighed in Sunday morning when I got back from the business trip, and surprise!  I actually lost weight this week!  Down 1.2 pounds to 296.2, even after eating out basically every night and having Waffle House food twice during the week.  Thankfully we stopped by a Super Wallyworld and I was able to pick up some healthy stuff (yogurt, fruit, and some Special K bars) for use at breakfast and lunch.

Well, that's about it for now.  I'll check in on the journal again on Friday.  Good luck all you counters out there!

Week 3: meh.
May 29 2009 09:02

Was down more earlier in the week, but at official weigh-in time, I was 297.4.  That means I only lost 0.4 pounds this week, but hey, at least it's still a loss.  I know I was several hundred under my burn rate on my calories every day, so I think I might have overdone it a little on the sodium intake.  We'll see.

Next week will be a bit funky.  Won't be able to weigh in on Friday 'cause I'll be out of state and in a hotel the whole week.  This also means some weirdness with food, since I won't have a car to drive to a grocery store.

That's all for now.

2nd week down and anticipating some sadness
May 22 2009 13:53

Lost 2.3 pounds this week, even though TOTM was visiting.  Don't know yet how that affects my weight, but we'll see how it all seems to work out in the next few weeks/months.  Sitting at home right now relaxing, since I had to go into work this morning to complete a last-minute thing for a work trip I have to take in a few weeks.  I have to travel for work every so often for training and such, and I don't always have control of the car, so I'm trying to figure out exactly what I'm going to do about those trips.

In other news, this weekend is going to be a bit bittersweet.  The play at the theatre my family is most involved with is ending this weekend, so I have one more weekend of working concession stand/front of the house duty (woohoo for more exercise than I thought it was and for willpower -- no, I won't have that chocolate chip cookie!), great people, and cast parties (potential downfall, but it didn't hurt me last weekend -- just lets me eat back for the exercise I get working front of the house, I suppose).  Sadly, after this show, the theatre is going to be closed for basically an entire year for renovations and such.  This makes me ridiculously sad -- I know this theatre family, not any others in the area.  I don't want it to go away, even if it is just for a year. :-(

[insert witty journal title here]
May 19 2009 10:14

So, I didn't take in all my calories yesterday -- actually, I was under by 300, even after having a York Peppermint Pattie and Chinese food.  Had the "steamed shrimp and snap peas" (which actually came with snap peas, carrots, onions, water chestnuts, and bamboo shoots, much to my surprise) instead of my no longer allowed sweet and sour chicken :-(    Didn't eat much of that, though, as my egg drop soup filled me up most of the way.  Bless his heart, I think my father's actually trying to help my mom and me now (though truth be told, he could stand to lose some himself, as he has admitted to me).  We'll see how grocery shopping goes this time around.

Sooooo much easier to do this when you're being held accountable by someone else in the same house and holding them accountable as well.  Sometimes (when I don't think about rent prices in the area), I find it a bit pathetic that I'm living at home now, but it's definitely better for bettering yourself.  If I was living alone in an apartment, God only knows what I'd have in the kitchen.  Plus there is the added bonus of the fact that I actually like my parents -- they have their dork moments, but they're great (and I love the theatre friends :-D).

Side note -- TOTM tries to tell me that chocolate will make the cramps go away...  It lies.  Thank God I only really get them on the first day, or I'd probably call in sick a week out of every month.

End-ish of the first week
May 15 2009 12:47

Bought a more accurate scale Monday (day one) after work.  So my official starting weight was exactly 302.  I'm going to be weighing in on Fridays from now on, and today I weighed 300.1.  Only down 1.9 pounds, but at least it's a start.  Some of it might be that daily weight flux, but I'm going to take it as all me in an effort to be more optimistic about it, and since I'll be weighing in regularly on Friday mornings now, there will hopefully be less flux in my measurements.  Didn't really plan anything out this week, and I didn't get a chance to get much exercise in because of a weird pinched nerve thing in my hip which made it hurt to move my leg.  I was generally good this week except for one day -- within 100 calories above or below my target intake calories, which now that I realize it, I never said.  Had Chinese one day, which totally screwed my intake... let me tell you, the whole order of sweet & sour (fried) chicken is not going to make its way back onto my plate again for a long time. Goodbye friend.

Starting weight: 302.0 (May 11, 2009)
Current weight: 300.1 (May 15, 2009)
Goal weight: 136.3
Target intake: 1850 (700 below what CalorieCount says I burn each day -- 2550)

Like my mother, I'm definitely an all-or-nothing kind of person.  Right now I am "all" for the weight loss.  I am dreaming of buying a bicycle so I can work out more during the summer.  I hate gyms, and while I know water aerobics might be really good, I can't deal with anything bathing suit related for a while for two reasons.  1) I still have body issues from a lifetime of being fat, which means that it would be self-defeating for me and my healthier lifestyle to even try to get in a pool until I feel somewhat thinner -- nothing like being a 24 year old blob in a pool being judged by everyone (why, yes, I am a pessimist... how'd you guess?).  2) There isn't a pool near my house that gives water aerobics classes.  If I were to try to do this, I'd at least feel better if I knew what I was doing and that I was not the only big person in the pool.  I know people say to just ignore everyone else and that you're there for yourself and your health, but I just can't make myself do that.

Anyway, back to the bike... I've been looking at them during my spare time at work, and holy COW, they're expensive.  I'm probably not looking at the right brands, but the only bike I ever had was when I was still in elementary school, so my view is a bit skewed as far as prices (>15 years ago, plus it was a kid's bike, obviously).  And one more thing.  How the heck are you supposed to be able to tell if they'll hold you?  I have nightmares in my head about bikes crumpling or tires popping under my weight when I think about buying one.

Phew... that's probably far too much information, but there it is.  Good luck, and hopefully next week goes well.

Making a start
May 12 2009 11:30

This is the first time I've really tried anything to get my weight under control.  On my way up over the years, I hit plateaus at around 250 and 275, but I am now just over 300 pounds (need to get a more accurate scale), and seeing that "3" at the beginning just depressed me.  Even as a child, though, I was almost always at least a little on the larger side of normal.  Sports were fun when I was a child (especially bowling, softball, and basketball, though circumstances where I lived meant I never got to play soccer like I had planned).  When I started shooting up in weight, though, I had body image and some self esteem issues, and the only one I continued with was bowling, which we all know is not the most impactful of sports.

My ideal weight is around 136, and while I may not ever reach that, my goal is to get to a healthier weight.  I sit at a desk most days at my job, and I am also enrolled in grad school classes, so it's hard to get a lot of free time these days.  I think I may underestimate a bit the amount of exercise I get, but I will try to get better at that.  I don't have a real laid-out plan right now, other than to try to keep up with the calorie counting, avoid ridiculously bad foods more than I have been, and try to get in more exercise.  I am prone to fits of all or nothing (mix of stubbornness and pessimism is an interesting combination), so I may stop counting and exercising for days at a time, but I'm hoping my family and friends will help keep me on track.

In late March, I took part in a 10k in my area with my parents.  It hurt like hell, but I finished!  It took me just under 2.5 hours, which isn't the best time in the world, but I know it's a start.  As my mom and I kept saying, we didn't care how long it took, just that we made it to the end.  I'm hoping to do it again next year and improve my time.