katie_baby's Journal

YES, yes, I'VE DONE IT AGAIN. TRUE story
Aug 20 2009 19:00

I have just spent the past day and a half in juvy. fun fun. why? you ask.. well i will tell you. When i was barely 14 years old i got caught stealing at gottshalks with a (at the time) very dear friends named chelsie. Because of this we both spent a few hours in a holding cell in juvy. Then countless more hours in court. The end results were me having been on an ankle monitor for over a month and ordered to do 50 hours of community service.. hers were less severe. She only had to do the community service. (don't ask me why, i can't figure it out myself) anyways i ended up moving to texas where my dad got sick and nearly died so he couldn't work and we lost our home and had to move out to the middle of nowhere with my grandpa and i was left to take care of my dad.

Months later after my dad got better we moved back to california because my sister got pregnant and she was going to need help with the baby. So as you can imagine my schedule went from busy to busier.. and the normal things that people our age stress about (school, work, community service) were put on hold.

Well fast forward to today and my mom just got laid off. We were struggling enough before when she had work so i decided i HAD to get a job. only one minor problem... i now had a warrant from never doing community service. But luckily i had been working on it. So i got it done. Got the proof, went to my school (which i am in again and trying very hard to do well) and i tried to get back on calandar for court.

Only, the judge decided that since i had a warrant i had to turn myself in. SO... I went to juvy and turned myself in.. spent a very interesting (and sleepless) day and a half. and then went to court (today)... where the judge decided he would drop the warrant and let me out if i would agree to redo the 50 hours that i had already done, stay in school, be on probation for a year, drug test, and go to some bullshit meetings. "ok" i agreed.

But now I'm stuck with a very terrible battle in my head that suggests that maybe doing the supposed right thing has restricted me in ways i didn't even have to deal with before. can i even get a job on probation? does it show up in a backround search? i know employers aren't allowed to discriminate against parolees or anything but theres always an exscuse that doesn't exactly scream DISCRIMINATION!

i know i'm just bitching, that it was the right thing to do.. and in a year it will be over.

but i hate feeling trapped by the law. probation or warrant. right or wrong.. this puts my dreams (and my moms dreams) of escaping this town and doing right on hold. and i hate it.

i know, i know "don't do the crime if you can't do the time," right?

but the girl i got caught with just had her boss sign off on her hours.. and sorry! but it's community service! you are only supposed to do it in a non profit organization.you aren't supposed to get paid for it. but they judge gave her no trouble about it.

whatever. right?

who ever said life was fair??

anyways.. just wanted to write about this latest mess of mine. hoping my girls (and boys) here on CC have some healing words. Because these people around me... I've gotta say they are lacking a bit in the comfort department..