katyayer's Journal

battling the four o'clock demons

Aug 20 2009 16:09

It's 4 pm. That means that like magic, I suddenly have an overwhelming sense of exhaustion coupled by an intense desire to eat everything in sight. My mind is scheming with the goodies in the work fridge leftover from the picnic that I can attack: applie pie, tortilla chips, etc. Even though I am NOT hungry, and have already eaten 1100 calories today.

Yesterday I gave in and ate whatever. Then that attitude continued on until I got home, and I snacked some more. I ended up at maintenance and mad at myself. So I came here, with the hopes that writing about it would save me.

I will not give in today. Why?

-none of the food in there is good for me, anyway!

-yesterday I felt horribly guilty all evening about doing so much meal planning and exercise, and then snacking anyway.

-I am NOT hungry, I am just tired and bored at work. Those are the emotions that seem to trigger mindless wandering to the fridge.

-I have glorious and yummy veggies at home, waiting to be eaten. I will have sauteed greens, and squash, and fresh tomatoes with rice and lentils for dinner. I wouldn't want my dinner ruined by the knowledge that I consumed yet another slice of apple pie.

-because I want to reach my goals!!!!!!

I'm on like my 5th glass of water! I may float away. I hope it works. My tactic is to drink so much water, that I can't possibly fit any food in there.

Nw Passage Relay Report

Jul 27 2009 09:29

I did it. I ran the NW passage relay. And it was amazing! I don't even know where to start in my journal! I can't believe that I was able to accomplish something like that! It was very emotional for me. Definitely the hardest physical challenge I have ever done!

One of the ladies in the other van who runs marathons regularly told me doing a 30 hour relay like this is actually much harder than a marathon for her. Running repeatedly with short recovery times, very steep hills, and ZERO sleep, is more challenging for her than pacing herself on a continuous and steady 26 mile marathon. That made me feel great.

The best part was that the women in my van were awesome. We had a complete blast, and I loved the 4 days of giddy girl time. My favorite part was the 4 mile leg I had to run at 1:30 am. I thought it would just be awful and tiring, but instead I was raring to go. I loved streaming through the night on a dark country road, with music blasting in my headphones and my headlamp lighting the way. I ran faster than I ever have in my life at 8:30 min miles. Wow!

The last leg was my hardest: 7.2 miles with very steep hills. And, I only managed to fit in an hour of sleep the night before. I had crashed out in my sleeping bag at the exchange point, but it began to rain and I moved under a picnic shelter. Problem was: there was a huge generator right next to my head and it kept me awake. So I decided to move back to my original spot outdoors, since the rain has ceased. Just managed to drift away, and the rains returned. I was so frustrated that I just decided to sleep in the rain. I managed about an hour of sleep before it was time to go. Fortunately I didn't get too wet- it was just a very light drizzle.

I am now so sore that walking is challenging. I was also STARVING all day yesterday. I ate scones for breakfast, a huge burrito for lunch, drank beers all afternoon at the softball game (which I did not play in since I was so sore), and then had massive amounts of takeout Thai food for dinner. Finished the day with a bowl of vanilla ice cream. All that was incredibly enjoyable, and I deserved it so there was no troubles or guilt!

Overall the whole thing was a great adventure. I am so glad I did it. I am taking a day to just soak up the glory and rest my muscles, and then it will be fun to reassess my fitness plan and goals.

Hooray!

whew... no longer Monday

Jan 13 2009 09:01

Well, I survived Monday yesterday. Barely! I just felt so exhausted all day. I had to make a cup of coffee in the afternoon to make it through. After work I just couldn't be motivated about Power Cardio. I knew I had to make it to the grocery store- because I had no food and everything I ate yesterday was processed. I'm sure that didn't help my exhaustion! Going to Power Cardio and then the grocery store, I wouldn't have gotten home until after 8 pm, still with no dinner.

I always underestimate the amount of time it takes to do a proper grocery store trip, and fail to allocate enough time. So last night I spent a good hour in there, trying to carefully select items. I think I did OK. A little frivolous- I did buy two nice bottles of wine as I am trying to stock my wine rack. I want to be one of those people with a well stocked wine rack. My neighbor says I just need to start inviting people over for dinner more often and then they all bring bottles of wine. Not a bad idea.

Last evening was spent paying bills and cooking a huge pot of curry lentil and sweet potato soup, so that I would have it on hand for the rest of the week. I am now feeling better about my food, and today I am starting anew. Yesterday I'm pretty sure I went over maintenance a smidgen, as well as ate foods that were less than terrific. Today will be a different story. I have a well prepared meal plan and a soccer game to make it to tonight. So good food and exercise are covered. Aunt Flo is supposed to arrive tomorrow, which is one reason why I felt exhausted yesterday.

I did forget to mention that yesterday my weight was down 2 pounds from the previous week- so I am back to my pre holiday 165. My goal is to lose 5 pounds by the time I go to Panama next month to visit my mom. Yes that's right, during the last cold spell we had here I couldn't take the thought of winter without a trip somewhere warm, so I booked a ticket to Panama in February. I used my miles and got a free ticket- nothing beats that! I have about a month to go so 5 pounds should be doable if I am really good.

Here's today's food plan:

~~Kashi golean crunch and soy milk:~~ 240

~~chocolate pudding cup and raspberries~~: 85

~~whole wheat pita with hummus, cucumber, spinach, and red pepper:~~ 230

grapes and string cheese: 120

100 calorie popcorn

curried lentil and sweet potato soup: 350

beer and tots after soccer game: 750

total: 1875

Exercise:

~~barn chores~~

soccer game

More snow! Starting to go nuts here...

Dec 20 2008 11:34

Well, miraculously enough, it is STILL SNOWING here. There are multiple inches on the ground right now, Saturday morning. But hooray! This is my first day of my staycation! I have an entire two weeks of paid time off, stretching in front of me. And, I'm not doing anything, the whole time. Yes! Well, that's not entirely true. My family is coming for the holiday, but we get along very well so it's normally a very casual and relaxing experience, especially over the holidays. I know that might seem slightly unusual to some people. Overall, my family will be here for about 6 days. I don't really have a whole lot planned, and I'm starting to wonder if I should try to make some kind of itinerary or something. Or at least, have a handful of things up my sleeve for us to do. Oh well, I have four days before anybody arrives so I will do some brainstorming.

So, I got a Christmas bonus! They didn't tell me how much or anything but it is still nice to have a little something extra right before the holidays. They said the bonus checks should be arriving today or Monday. We did go out to dinner last night to celebrate, but didn't stray too far from home because of the inclement weather. Just went to this cozy tiki bar/restuarant kind of place. I had a salad with blackened chicken. Totally not what I felt like eating, but it seemed to be the healthiest option around. I was trying to be good since I didn't get any formal exercise yesterday.

Now I am trying to decide whether or not to go out to the barn today. I can call the woman there and see if she will take care of Mr. Smoke for me, if the snow does not let up. I should get some sort of exercise today, because I am foreseeing a lot of sitting here and doing nothing over the next few days. The weather is supposed to get ugly tonight, with sleet and freezing rain on top of all the snow we've been having. I probably will not make it out to the barn tomorrow, so if it's just fluffy snow today, I should make a move. I do have 4 wheel drive, after all.

Other than that I am just sitting here waiting for Mickey to post her rosemary bread recipe so that I can run out and buy the ingredients. Just kidding! Sort of. No pressure or anything.

Well I hope everyone is having as enjoyable of a weekend as me!

Frigid Monday

Dec 15 2008 08:56

Ok, I know I know that we are huge wimps about snow here! I didn't used to be this way! I used to live in the northeast and would be unfazed. But all these years in the pacific NW has affected me somehow. You Canadians will appreciate this: we have a measly two inches of snow on the ground, which has now turned to ice, but still, it's only two inches. The City of Portland closed all schools and also requested that nonessential employees take the day off. Chains are required within the portland metro area. The mayor is holding a "news conference" this morning to discuss the situation. My boss sent me a text message last night telling me we should work from home today.

I'm happily sitting here in my cozy house listening to the wind howl outside and sipping on coffee. I kind of have a food hangover from eating too much yesterday. I feel bloated and yucky. Need to be good today AND get a workout in.

The only problem with this snow situation is that my work laptop is, well, at work. Not here. Meaning I don't have enough stuff to work on from home today. I am going to have to make the scarrry drive over there, probably late morning-ish. I am thinking about stopping at the gym on my way there, take advantage of today's more relaxed schedule.

I'll be thinking of you Canadians the whole time I am driving in our two inches of snow.

I want to make a menu, but I just ate a leftover french bread pizza for breakfast so I am not feeling too positive about myself. Oh well. here goes anyway!

~~French bread pizza:~~ 420

1/2 cup cottage cheese: 70

broccoli/cheese soup: 350

luna bar: 180

whole wheat spaghetti with roasted zucchini and green salad: 500

Total: 1520

Exercise:

gym workout- 30 min cardio, 30 min Strength training

barn chores

calories in: 2290, calories out: 2740.

Thursday, weigh in day

Dec 11 2008 08:56

Well, I'm down 2 pounds from last week, but that means my weight is right back to where I started "weighing in" regularly 4 weeks ago: 166. Hmmmm. I got to thinking- perhaps it just gets harder to lose when you've been trying for so long? I've seen bits of info about this, that your body just isn't haven't it anymore. Although this is disconcerting to me. Because I tend to rely on science, I love the clear and simple calories in/calories out. So when I'm achieving deficit after deficit and nothing is happening, I tend to fault human error rather than the science. I come to the logical conclusion that I am either overestimating calories burned, or underestimating calories eaten.

All I can do is keep trying, right? Oh and if it makes a difference, I had my thyroid tested in September and no troubles there.

Yesterday I made my vegetarian chili! Yum yum. Enjoyed a delicious bowl and had a 650 calorie deficit, after that beast of a strength training class at the gym, the one that leaves all my muscles feeling like jell-o. I settled on that for a while and then it became clear that I was still hungry. I wolfed down a very small slice of pizza that my BF had sitting around in the fridge, probably bringing my deficit to 500. I think with that kind of intensive strength training workout- deficits over 500 just aren't going to work.

After dinner I put my closet back in its place! Hooray! No more piles of clothes to root through on the sofa. It took me all evening and I got rid of a lot of stuff in the process, but I then spent the night in the actual bedroom and in the morning, I actually opened the door to my closet and selected clothing items to wear. Oh the novelty!

Today is supposed to be sunny. This I am excited about, soI plan on going for a run at lunchtime once the fog lifts. Light cardio is the best after a big strength training day. No ride for Smoke, since I rode him yesterday. I just hopped on him bareback and headed out to the back fields with the dog tagging along. It wasn't very vigorous due to the company of our old mutt but it likely made his day more interesting.

After work today I am contemplating going shopping ...dun dun dun..... for a holiday party outfit for the weekend. As seems to be a common theme around here, I do not have anything to wear to my holiday parties this weekend. Although! I wonder, it seems every single time an occasion comes up, I have NOTHING to wear. So I am just being too picky? Or do I really have NOTHING? I took a good survey last night since I was putting away my closet. And yes, there are some things that would "do". MEaning, I'm not excited about it and such. So I don't have to go shopping. But- I need to at least decide what it is I am going to wear so that I don't stand in front of my closet for an hour, wailing and wringing my hands in despair, like usual. Or, I could just run out to the mall and see if I can find a dress that is more than "would do". I have yet to decide. We shall see. I hate shopping. Oh goodness. Just while I was typing that paragraph, I got an instant message from another guy from our office, wanting to know if I was wearing a "sparkly dress" to the holiday party. My reply "not sure". Then he types, "you should so my wife doesn't feel overdressed!" Hmmm. Might be going shopping!

Ok without further adieu, here's today's food plan:

~~Oatmeal Squares and soy milk~~: 275

~~yogurt~~, pear: 200

~~shrimp, and fried brown rice with veggies (leftovers):~~ 325

light string cheese and berry almond luna bar: 240

veggie chili and green salad: 500

Total: 1540

Exercise plan

barn chores, lots!! taking care of two Thoroughbreds today

2.6 mile run at lunch

weigh in day

Dec 04 2008 09:11

I don't know why I picked Thursdays for my weigh in days but I did. Hmmm. Not pretty. Up another 2 pounds today since I started this 2 weeks ago.

SW: 166

CW: 168

GW: 162

days til goal: 21

2 pounds/week to do it

Being that I can't seem to lose weight even with 500+ deficits and intensive workouts every day, I'm not really sure how I am supposed to lose two pounds a week. I'll be honest here- I have no idea what to do. Everything that has worked for me in the past seems to be having the opposite effect now. Weird. Maybe I should stop exercising and go back to eating junk food? Even my boyfriend was wondering what's going on, because he's been seeing me bust my butt at the gym and eat lean dinners. He asked me if I was pregnant or something! (btw, the answer is definitely NO). And, I've had enough slip ups/maintenance days mixed in there to rule out the so-called "starvation mode".

Last night I went to that intensive strength training class, and had a deficit of around 750 cals. I pondered giving up this morning but I am not going to. I will keep at it. I am going to add heaps more fruit and veggies into my diet and lay off the carbs a bit, and hope that improves things. I am going to keep exercising every day, because that's what I know how to do. I am going to get a ride in today and hopefully a run. The farrier is coming at 2 pm to trim Mr. Smoke's hooves so I hope to sneak out of work then to participate. We'll see.

I'm glad today is Thursday. I have been itching for the weekend all week due to the current state of my house/bedroom. Even though the only plans we have is to tackle that renovation project, those are plans enough for me!

OK guys here's the big plan o' the day.

food

~~whole wheat bagel with scrambled egg from my chickens~~: 350

~~yogurt~~: 100

~~baked chicken breast with steamed zucchini:~~ 330

red bell pepper and ~~1/2 baked sweet potato~~: 130

~~pear:~~ 50

~~rye crispbread and laughing cow wedge:~~ 95

~~veggie chili:~~ 450

total: 1505

exercise

~~barn chores-~~ lots! I've got 3 horses to do today.

~~horseback riding~~! (need to get a ride in today- Smoke has had an unintentional little vacation over the past week)

2.6 mile run, if time. the barn might be enough today. yup, barn was enough.

calories in: 1789, calories out: 2280

sunday

Nov 30 2008 11:56

It looks from the forecast that it is supposed to be sunny later today, perhaps after the fog lifts? But right now it is a bit gloomy. My dog is looking at me and thumping her tail eagerly, I know she would like it very much if I decided to bring her to the park. I keep telling her I must finish my cup of coffee first.

I slept late today, it was delightful!

Yesterday afternoon me and the BF were invited to a college football party for the Civil War game. I really don't like football, but I was enticed by the beer and snacking and comraderie that goes along with it. I hadn't gotten any exercise in since we had decided earlier that day that we were going to renovate our bedroom. This means installing a light fixture in the closet (I can't see my clothes in the dark!), tearing up the old disgusting carpet, installing new bamboo floors, and painting. We choose a nice light gray color for the walls, simple and calming. Anyway this is going to be a long process, so we just began it yesterday by moving our bedroom into another room in the house, which took most of the efforts.

I decided to run to the football party to fit in my workout. It was about 3.5 miles away. So BF drove and had a bag for me with a change of clothes waiting at the party. By the time I arrived I was craving a shower, but I figured it was a football party and very casual so I just lounged around in my running gear and completely indulged in the football snacks, giving myself permission for having run to the party! I'm not sure if the numbers worked out in my favor. But oh well.

Plans for today: tackle the bedroom again, visit Smoke and maybe ride, and then off to yoga. It's a friend's birthday tonight, so I believe a birthday drink is in order after yoga, and then I hope to call it an early night to get prepared for the real world tomorrow.

Happy Sunday!

Saturday morning

Nov 29 2008 10:17

Yes! Day three of my four day break from work, and I am loving it!

Yesterday I talked the boyfriend into going to the community pool with me and swimming some laps. I swam for about 45 minutes and then we relaxed in the hot tub. Very nice. The pool was empty too, so I had a whole lane to myself while swimming, which is the best.

Then we went out to lunch and I ate too much- a giant eggplant parmaigiana hoagie. That's ok as it ended up being lunch and dinner combined. By the time dinner time came around, I was still full.

We went to a friend's place last night and just had some cocktails and a bonfire. It was good conversation and company. Took a cab home since we ended up deciding both of us had just one cocktail too many to drive. We tend to be pretty responsible like that. Sadly enough, more so than most people I know.

Today I had planned on driving out to my friend J's place in the country, it's about an hour away. We had planned on horseback riding all day, but unfortunately she just called and canceled on me- apparently it is raining hard up there and just generally awful unpleasant weather. The kind of rain that is just misting all around, where you get soaked in about two seconds flat. A.k.a. not riding weather! So now I don't know what will become of my day. I am pondering taking the dog for a walk, maybe getting into some of the many house projects that are looming. This means a trip to Home Depot, which I hate doing. Such is life.

I do know one thing though- I will get some exercise in today. Mark my words!

Have a good day friends.

Awesome

Nov 28 2008 10:34

I love having four days off in a row, it feels so luxurious! Here I am on a Friday, lounging around in my pj's drinking my third cup of coffee, completely blissed out.

I had a great time yesterday. Got up and headed out for a run, to make room for some serious food. It was cold! Brrrrr. It took me at least a mile to even warm up! It wasn't a very vigorous run, my old dog was slow. I stopped a lot to jog in place and wait for her while she sniffed around, but jogging in place seems very difficult to me- almost harder then running forward because there is no momentum to keep me going. In her old age, my old mutt seems to be stopping to smell the flowers a lot. She's not really overexerted, but just easily distracted. It's kind of cute.

Then took ol' Smoke for a spin, it was a nice long ride and he seemed to be really enjoying himself. Again, I was cold. The sweat from the run had dampened my t shirt, so I was cold despite the heavy layers I had on top. Did my barn chores and headed home just in time to have a freak out about what I was going to wear to the Thanksgiving dinner. I don't know why it was such a big deal. My old standby dress I have worn to numerous other family events and I realized these people would only be seeing me in one outfit since many of them I only see at Thanksgiving and 4th of July. It was a nice dinner though, Aunt J managed to fit 22 people for dinner in her tiny house and it was perfect. I ate A LOT. A huge plate of dinner and then a huge plate piled high with dessert- yum! I am still full. This morning while lying in bed I was doing some rough calculations on caloric intake, and I think I probably did around 2000 calories at the dinner between wine, dessert, and dinner. Wow. That brings my total for the day around 2700. With running and horseback riding, I burned around 2500, but we went for a nice family walk between dinner and dessert, so I probably only went about 100 cals over maintenance. Awesome. Now I'm back on track today.

Today, the big plan is to do NOTHING. So far I am succeeding. We are sort of playing around with the idea of doing some sort of house project, but both me and the boyfriend are uninspired. I will take the dog to the park shortly let her do some sniffing around and squirrel chasing. Later, I'll head out to the barn to tend to my horse and also a lot of other horses too. The lady who cares for the horses was so busy yesterday caring for everyone's horse- since everybody had thanksgiving plans. She decided to have thanksgiving today instead. So I offered to come out and do the evening chores at the barn so she could relax and enjoy her dinner tonight. So I have about 12 horses to feed and such. No prob! I like doing it.

I'm thinking I also should really get my butt in the gym due to that gargantuan meal I consumed yesterday. You know, get the heart rate up a little and such. It should be a strength training day too. Ho hum.

Have a good day friends.