ksylvan's Friends

Today has been a better food day than yesterday, so far.

- vegetable-squash stew

- pasta with kidney beans, zuccini, and peppers, with chili-tomatoe sauce

- one small chocolate

- small amount of cashews

- no fat mocha

- tea, tea and more tea

-banana

However, while food was ok, work was not.... not that it went poorly, it just didn't happen at all. A whole day with nothing to do but work, and I got next to nothing done. Hoping I can do a bit better in the next couple hours.

As I get older, can't help but think time goes so much faster than it once did.  Seems like only yesterday I was looking forward to seeing Haley's Comet in 1985.  And soon it will be 2010.  Wow, can hardly believe I have made it this far.  Never did I imagine I'd make it this far.  When you are 500+ pounds in your 20's, a person really doesn't expect to make it to 50. 

But 50 I'm gonna be.  And it truly is some sort of miracle I have made it this far.  Maybe the reason is so my dad would have someone to take care of him, or maybe it's just dumb luck of the draw.  I don't know why I have been given this chance, but the best thing to do is live a good and happy life. 

Of course it's going to continue to be a fight.  But at least I have something worth fighting for.  A real life, being a real person.  And a fight it will be.  Yesterday I hurt so bad I just wanted to stay in bed.  So what did I do, I headed up to the Y, and did a 1600+ cal workout. 

I guess for me right now, and to be honest there is no guessing about it, I have to bring the eating back in line with the workouts.  That is where I am not following through on the plan.  Everything has to go in the log.  It's time to get fanatical again.  watching every bite, everything I have to drink that has any cals.  It must go in the log!!  The part of the battle where I am the weakest.  That's why I have to make this the new focul point of my plan.  I think I got the workout thing down.  But that's only part of the equation.  The food must be logged!!!

Then there is my business.  I have to stay the course so I will be ready for all the work this spring.  Much to be done, and so little time.  Gotta start working harder yet!!  Still want to see that 300 pound mark!!

Art of the Season - Early winter

Winter Landscape ~ Camille Pissarro, 1873

The day was almost ok yesterday.  I did feel better and I think that's related to losing almost all of the retained fluid.  I still have 4 pounds to go before I reach the weight I was before I got sick.  Also, my body feels thinner, so I'm betting I've lost some real fat along with the water.  The scale will show it in a week or 10 days, I hope.

I did go to the communal birthday party and had a chance to sit have a few laughs with friends.  It broke the monotony of a cold, dreary, wet day - like today's picture, except we didn't get the dusting of snow.

Plan for Today:  Lesley will be here this morning to do the laundry and tidy the place up.  My Dr's appointment has been cancelled and they said they'd call to fit me in later.  I'll be working the bills and my insurance mess.

Menu for Today:  Breakfast - oat bran flakes, blueberries, milk.  Lunch - low sodium tuna salad with cherry tomatoes.  Supper - bow tie pasta with vegetables.  Snacks - apples, carrots

After yesterday's rain and wind, we expect a nice, sunny day today.  The high is supposed to reach 50 F, 10 C, with a breeze.  Sometime during the night before last, the halyard on our flag broke loose so the flag is flapping vertically around the flagpole.  I wonder how long it will take maintenance to bring it down and fix it.  This is my least favorite time of year - the gap between autumn and winter with none of the joys of either one.  My mood matches the weather.

Today:  Don't Worry, Be Happy.   

aww after eating so well for a week, I think I failed today:

Bagel + cream cheese

egg salad wrap

like 1000 calories of cashews

apple juice

pear

raman

wow... so many cashews.... and I still want more. Why did I think buying a large quantity of cashews was ever a good idea?

Christmas shopping is done, ai buhleeve.  Just need to start wrapping now :)

We were invited to E & J's for dinner yesterday (k's surrogate parents, the ones who came to our rescue when the truck wouldn't start in the store parking lot).  It was their thanksgiving.  They had spent the actual day in Kentucky with J's family.  They got back this weekend and had dinner with J's daughter & family, J's sister and husband, me and K, another quasi-adopted couple and the thirty or so children between all of us ;) 

It was loud and messy and quite good fun.  I demolished my diet yet again, but am trying to not beat myself up about it, since I do get up every single day and work out.  I know I can afford a cheat meal a couple times a week, just a little bit of guilt is still there.

Bah. Chocolate cream pie is totally worth the guilt.

Anyways, they have two new kittens.  I almost stole the fat fuzzy gray one.  I'm pretty sure I could have snuck her out under my coat.  I restrained myself, however.

K ordered me Insanity from Beachbody for Christmas!  It looks like the kind of workout that makes you puke halfway thru!

Oh, and we got a Snuggie for Dad's GF for christmas.  Tiger striped.  Classy ;)

when i was shopping with my dad over the weekend, we had a french person helping us at one of the stores.  when we left...i said "dad, i don't like him." and he goes "why?"  and i go "probably because he's french."    Starlitocean 11/24/09  

Happy ham assault.    Bigbhoo 11/24/09  

okay, between the talk of pie, and the smell of catered food a few feet away, i am ready to eat my phone.   Starlitocean 11/24/09  

When Erin opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, "Come!". I looked, and there before me was a pecan pie. Its rider was named Food Baby, and Hades was following close behind him.      Kathygator 11/25/09  

You see, this is why I don't make ChatQuotes.  I'm the set-up man.  Dnrothx  11/25/09  

I love my family but can clearly see the crazy in em all.  Turtlesallthewaydown 11/25/09  

Holy cow.  Your mouth has so many sides that I've run out of latin prefixes to define the shape.  Dnrothx 11/25/09 (not a chatquote, but too good to throw away)  

doc you haven't answered my question in someone's journal comment.  Michachu 11/25/09  

Aw yeah, who's the shiznit now?  Dnrothx (goes thug all up in here).  11.25.09  

Nothing reassures the soul like a brand new box of crayons.  Kathygator 11/25/09  

she'll think she's a unicorn.  DON't EAT YOUR OWN SKITTLES!!!  Crazydiamondchrysalis 11/25/09  

I'm extremely bored.  I'm going to go to the washroom and sit there till exciting things happen.  Igloogal 11/26/09  

*noms "traditional fish soup"*  Though I'm pretty sure tradition didn't originally have it being made from soup mix and canned tuna ;)  Melkor 11/26/09  

CHAT ALPHABET   By Buggyhair  

A is for A$$hat   B is for Bedit   C is for Cooter   D is for Daily chat   E is for Ewwwwwww   F is for Fart   G is for Grabby hands   H is for Hahahaha   I is for Ice cream   J is for Jerk   K is for Kiss {{*___*}}   L is for LOL Catz   M is for Moooooooooom, she's bugging me   N is for Naughty corner   O is for Oh no, you di'int   P is for Pie   Q is for Questioning authority   R is for Run amok   S is for Snuggle   T is for Tips fedora   U is for Us   V is for Vacuum under the couch   W is for Wang   X is for X & the Mistress   Y is for Yucky little red things Z is for Ze Germanz

Art of the Season

Harvest Landscape ~ Vincent Van Gogh, 1888 (click for large image)

It's too early to tell how I'm going to feel today, but yesterday was pretty good.  I took an early nap, Bill got here about 1 pm and took me grocery shopping.  I was really tired when we got back but in all, not bad at all.  The scale was down another pound and that may have something to do with it. 

Plan for Today:  I have a few things to do (pay bills etc) and there's a party at 3 pm I'd like to go to.  I also need to change the decoration in my door basket.  I have a little, flat basket that hangs on my door, in which I arrange for each season.  Time to put away the little gourds, silk leaves and turkey and get out the holly and bows, and my beanie baby santa.

Menu for today:  breakfast - cream of wheat, blueberries, milk.  Lunch - leftover pasta and salad.  Supper - low sodium tuna with noodles in sauce, peas, salad.  Snacks - low salt triscuits (85 mgs in 6 crackers) with avocado spread, apples, carrots.

Yesterday was such a nice, warmish day with lots of sun.  I guess it's too much to ask for another one like that.  Rain is on the way.

A neighbor on this floor but the other wing has gone overboard on decorating her doorway.  It looks like Michaels, or some other craft supply store, threw up on her section of the hall.  Lights around the door, sparkly garland wrapped on the handrails, snowflakes on the wall, metallic star confetti on the floor along the baseboard.  It looks like she had l lot of fun.  I wish they'd leave it, but housekeeping is going to have a fit, especially about the confetti. 

Today:  Try to move more. 

Also, very stressed.

but....

I've never been so happy with how my body looks. I'm 135, 8 lbs heavier than my lightest, but it's a damn sexy 135 lbs :P I definitely have better abs hiding in there then I did last time. Last time I was this low (and eventually 127), I was there because I starved, threw up and was an insane cardio obsessed person. This time I exercise occasionally, eat well and I take the time to look my nude self in the mirror and say "you're beautiful" every day. And occasionally "damn girl, you're a sexy bitch". Last time it was loose skin over bones, this time it's starting to be tighter skin over sexy muscles.

I'm going to keep aiming for 125 lbs, but I may stop at 130.

Also!

I hate that I have to chose to either love my body and hate my breasts or love my breasts and hate the rest. Can't they stay full and wonderful while my body shrinks? *sigh*, at least I have you wonderbra...

More Basement Kittehs.  For those who are not familiar with lolcats, basement cat is the devil and ceiling cat is the "great spirit"

Saturday was just as boring and uneventful as expected.  I kept falling asleep, dropping my book with a thud and was unable to finish watching any TV show.  Sigh.  The visiting nurse called and was running behind.  Asked if she could come Sunday morning - well why not.  She should be here around 9.

Plan for today:  Get in a morning nap so I can go shopping with Bill.  I decided that we can go to the supermarket where the pharmacy is to save effort.  I don't need much so even it their prices are a little higher it won't matter much. I am so looking forward to getting out!

Menu for today:  breakfast - boring old oatmeal again.  Lunch - thawed some chunky bolognese sauce (unsalted) and will cook a little pasta.  Supper - don't know.  Snacks - more fruit and boring old rice cakes.  I manage to get my 1450 calories by eating second helpings but don't really have an appetite when everything tastes so unsalty.  I am craving salt like anything and no amount of lemon juice or spices makes up for it.

I am a total grump this morning.  I couldn't go back to sleep so I'm up.  At least the wind has stopped.  I thought the howling would drive me nuts the past two days.  I won't inflict you with any more whining.  Be back later if I have something good to say.

Today:  Work on my attitude and try to be more positive. 

135 whooooooo! That was my revised goal for Dec 18th, so I guess I can try to go a little lower by break. My original goal of 130 is probably still a bit steep, but maybe 133 or 132 would be really awesome!