kukua's Journal

change your way of thinking
Apr 19 2009 22:40

So I had an interesting thought tonight.

So many times in the past, I have gone a few days/weeks/months eating really well, sticking to my calories, allowing myself occasional treats without guilt, and generally following a healthy lifestyle.

But then something will happen and I'll fall off the wagon, eat fast food every day for a couple of weeks, and basically undo all the work I've just done.  When this happens, I generally get really down on myself, and one of my most common self-bashing thoughts is "you obviously don't really want or deserve to be healthy and thin because every time you start a new plan, you always end up failing".

So lately I have been trying to think of it as more of a process and allowing myself to slip without feeling like I've failed or that I'm giving up, but that doesn't always work.  I still am often plagued with self-doubt.  The more times I "fail", the less I really believe I'm capable of success.

So today, I was thinking of all these negative thoughts I tend to beat myself up with and I started to think that it's all in the way you look at it.  I might give up every time I start, but on the other hand, every time I give up, at some point I start again.  So, if we flip the statement around, I obviously DO really want and deserve this because everytime I fall off the wagon, I always get back on.

I guess it's all in the way you twist things.