ladykelien's Journal

Sold my Soul to the Devil tonight
Aug 08 2008 02:22

My family and I have been doing without a car big enough to hold all of us.  We need at least an 8 passanger van.  The car my husband has been driving, is dieing a slow miserable death.  The transmission and engine are both going out at the same time. 

So at the suggestion of my mother I called my cousin the car sales man.  My cousin that hated me when we were kids.  My cousin who got her such a good deal on a car she couldn't help sing his praises.  My cousin who imbezzeled 100,000 dollars from a bank at the age of 16 and didn't get caught even after he spent all the money.  No he turned himself in.  Ultimatly it helped the bank protect itself better so he became a hero who just got a slap on the wrist.  Did I mention we never got along?

So I call him on of last week and leave a message.  He doesn't call me back.  I call him again on Tuesday and this time he answers the phone.  He says sure Ill see what I can do about getting you a car.   Tells me his assistant will call me the next day.  I hear nothing until Saturday night.

Now I know our credit sucks.  And I know my cousin pulled a lot of strings to get me a sweet deal.  But, I also know he was counting on the tella check system not being willing to back a post dated check from us.  So when they don't he doesn't discuss it with my husband.  Instead he calls me. 

He wants my fathers 410.  The 410 that had been my fathers 10th birthday present.  The 410 that was given to my son on his 10th birthday.  My cousin gives me some song and dance about how the gun had belonged to our grandfather and how he had gotten a black eye shooting it with grandpa when he was four.  He wants the gun.  Not for a loan but for keeps.  He will give it back to alex in his will when he dies. 

So here I am on the spot and I can't talk to my husband about it.  I have to decide now.  My son says its okay with him so we agree.  Then when  I talk to my  mother, which was unfortunatly after I had already agreed,  She threw a total shit fit. 

Apparently, when she was in the hospital when I was like 4.  My dad was hard up for cash and didn't want to ask my grandfather for it. (My mothers father)  So he went to uncle Jim and asked him for a loan using the gun as collateral.  He paid the gun off but Uncle Jim refused to give it to him.  Thats how patrick got to shoot the gun in the first place.   It was my fathers birthday present.  It never belonged to my grandfather.  

The only reason my dad got it back was that, my uncle got sick and my aunt needed the money.  The gun was so important to my father.  He wanted my son to have it so badly, that he bought it back for twice what the origional loan was for.  So he in essance paid off that loan three times.  

Now  here I am between a rock and a hard place, in need of a car and he pulls this shit counting that I won't know the history of the gun.  He was right.  So now tomorrow my husband has to take that gun back to the people who stole it from my father.  I have to trust that, the lieing sack of shit that never liked me will keep his word, and my son will have to do without his inheritance from my father for the next 50 years or so. 

I feel like an idiot.  Its like I had to bury daddy all over again.  What 30 year old man thinks its okay to ask for something that belongs to an 11 year old boy.  A 30 year old man whose grandfather didn't die until he was in his 80's, took from an 11 year old boy who lost his grandfather when his grandfather was only 55.  Patrick has plenty of memories with our Grandfather.   My son only has a very small handful with my father.  It makes me sick, that I did this.  But, there was no way out.   Before I could call Bear and tell him don't agree don't sign the papers, Ive changed my mind, It was done and the deal was set in stone.  There isn't a damm thing I can do about it either. 

But, I can tell you this.  If my son doesn't get that gun back when my cousin dies,  I will follow him into the next life and make him more miserable than he can ever imagine.  Ill reincarnate as his mother and make my aunt look like a saint. Or, I will reincarnate as his child, and make his life a living hell.  Or Ill reincarnate as his wife, and cheat on him every chance I get. 

The next time, I get the feeling something is going to cost me more than I want to give, Im going to listen to my own gut instead of everyone else and say fuck it there are other ways to do things.