lizm77's Journal
Moving along......Nov 04 2009 13:10
Im finally under 16 stone!! 15st 13.5lbs 
I think my body likes to 'hold' on to water-weight, then lets go for a few days. I was starting to think I was stuck a little with no loss for a month. Im glad I didnt panic, resulting in either me thinking 'I better REALLY cut back'-or the opposite, have a few days of "defeat" comfort eating that could have lead to a total slip back in to my old ways.
Im proud that I didnt do either of these things-although I did have my moments-instead I just continued as I was, knowing my body was still benefiting from better nutrition and more exercise.
I cant remember the last time I was near this weight-must be around 8 years at least.
Im very glad I dont live with my (now ex) boyfriend anymore as I believe he would be a 'sabotager'. I think his main problem with my weightloss is the fact that he can see I have much more confidence now & just enjoying life a little more. In the past he comment about my eating habits, but not in an tactful way-he once reduced me to tears at work with a totally embarrassing comment. He could tell my eating habits werent normal, nevermind healthy, but the way he would approach it was all wrong. The past few times we have worked together he has handed me chocolate and sweets, even going out and buying me icecream (my biggest weakness!!). There is a guy at work who is very good looking (and he knows it....) who flirts with alot of the women. Me & this guy always have a laugh and 'play flirt'-my ex still gets angry, even though we split up over 3 years ago & he is seeing about 3 different women right now & cant wait to tell me about them whenever he sees me!! I am honestly past the whole jealousy thing-I wouldnt take him back.
He along with others are probably jealous of the fact that Im moving on, looking better, much happier and changing my life forever-which is pretty sad.
Last night a few of us went for a drink after work-at one point I was left sitting at the table myself. A guy came over to me and asked "are you an air hostess?" because I was in uniform. He then offered to buy me a drink, but I refused, mainly because I was in company and if he got me a drink he would want to sit and chat. When he walked away I found myself blushing fiercely. I havent had a guy ask to buy me a drink for a long time, so it felt a little strange. Then I started to feel bad for turning this guy down without even giving him a chance-all because I still feel very insecure about my looks. He seemed like a nice enough guy & not bad looking either-but Im struggling to accept the fact that others might find me attractive because I have detested how I have looked for so many years. Just because I dont look like Ive stepped out of a fashion mag doesnt mean Im repulsive.
I need to cut myself some slack.....
