loufederer's Journal

i am so effing done with being fat. why should be best friend look so much better than me, it's just not fair. she adores herself, i don't know why, she's fat too. but me, the one who's always struggling gets the shortest straw. i was to be horrifically thin - so much so that i look like death compared to her. a true slender little stick. the same height as my best friend, by skinny and perfect. i know she looks like crap naked, of course she does, her dips and curves and squatness lends inexorably to that. i sound so horrible and cruel, but i am really just being honest. i am lumpy and podgey too, but i know this - i'm doing something about it. i want to make a big book of skinny, gorgeous people... the ones i would love to look like. i wish i knew how much my best friend weighed, how unhealthy she is.... how much better i can feel about myself thereof.

i just crave thin-ness. the day i can look down at myself in the shower and not have to grimace at my protruding fat bits, is the day i am a happy woman. no more misery, no more fat, no more feeling my hips rubbing against my jeans, no more grotesque ballooning of my stomach. god, life could be so so good. in about a stone's time.

same old regime sunday-friday:
300-400g cauliflower                     75-100kcal
100g  bran + 200ml soya milk      314kcals
Reduced sugar ketchup                 25kcals
Lemonade/diet coke                     3-15kcals
TARGET – UNDER 500kCals

saturday:
classic bulimia day

CMON LOULOU!!!!! :D XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX u'll look so so gorgeous. the envy of them all. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx