lulufit's Journal

I promise to drink only one light beer tonight

Jul 03 2009 14:19

Exercise class this morning kicked my butt but I hung in there. I had to stop a few times because I didn't want to fall off the step or the ball thing. I'm suffering from the spaghetti arms and leg syndrome though!

We figured out what was up with the baby. She has Roseiola (not sure how to spell that). Apparently it is no big deal. You just get a high fever for a week, then you break out into a rash for 3-5 days. And you are a MAJOR CRABASS. There really isn't much to be done for it either. Just wait it out. The nurse was shocked that none of my other kids ever had it. Apparently it is quite common for babies to get it.

Tonight we are going over to a friends to see the fireworks. They live right near the high school where they shoot them off so we'll have a nice view without having to deal with the crowds (or getting killed by an off fired missile or something like that!). Luckily my mom and dad don't have any plans so they will be watching the baby. Thank goodness or else we may not have been able to go and the other kids would have been terribly disappointed.

Have a happy Fourth of July! I am promising to only drink one light beer tonight because I am working too hard in class to eat junk!

stuff n things

Jul 02 2009 10:11

Grocery shopping is on the list for today. Not much else is going on. We made it through our busy wednesday. I took an Aleve last night before bed in the hopes that I'd be able to move in the morning. It must have worked because I am not really sore. I do feel as if my arms and legs are made of cement, though. I suppose being stiff is better than being sore!

I'm going to pick two recipes out of my Biggest Loser cookbook for grocery shopping. I tend to plan for too much, buy too much food, spend too much money and then don't cook what I planned for because I forget what my original plans were for all the stuff I bought.

Total Tone Class aka Torture

Jul 01 2009 11:29

My Total Tone class started this morning. I suppose it would be more accurate to say that I started this morning. Everyone else appeared to have been very familiar with all the moves so I don't think they were new. Here is how the day started out. (sorry its long, you can skip to the bottom to hear about my class!)

I woke up this morning to a little tiny voice saying "Mama, Mama, can I sleep with you in your bed?" I opened one eye to see my daughter standing there in her little Dora nightgown sucking her thumb. Well, I couldn't really see her in detail because the room was so dark, but I could see her glowing blonde hair and hear the suck suck of her thumb. The alarm clock behind her said 5:00am. I whispered, "Ok, fine, just go to sleep". I helped her into our giant king sized bed and grabbed a pillow out of my stash (I sleep with five pillows....one for each side, two under my head and a heavy extra one for over my head when my husband is snoring too loud), I whacked my husband in the face with it (by accident) and stuck it somewhere between us. She snuggled in, laid still for about two minutes than started squirming. And squirming. I told her to stop moving and go to sleep. I think she got bored because a little while later I hear right in my ear..."Mama, Mama, I want to go back in my room." So I helped her climb over and get down from the bed. Then I told her to go back to her room, keep the lights off, don't wake up the baby and DO NOT wake up her brothers. All is well for about ten minutes. Then beneath my closed lids I sense a light come on. The bathroom light right in the hallway outside the kids bedrooms. No problem, I thought. When you've got to go, you've got to go. I figured she'd do her business, then turn the light off and go back to sleep. (don't forget, I was sleeping so I am obviously not thinking too clearly at this point). Wrong. The light stays on and I eventually hear a door creak open and my daughter whispering loudly her twin brothers name. "J, J, are you awake? Mama says I can go downstairs." My sons share a room, so this means that they are both awake now and headed downstairs, most likely in a crabby mood because their sister woke them up too early. I kept saying "SHHHHHHHHH" really loud because I was too tired to get out of bed and I didn't want their constant chattering to wake up the baby (who still has a fever by the way!.....the nurse said it could last up to five days). My kids hear the word "SHHHHHH" and they think that it means to get quiet and whisper for about three seconds. Then you can go back to chattering at loud volume like normal until they hear me say "SHHHHH" again. They eventually made it downstairs and remained pretty quiet.

Anyways, the baby woke up and she still has the fever, although it was lower for a little while this morning. She is super crabby and doesn't want to eat, only wants her bottle and for me to hold her. Meanwhile my husband is trying to get ready for work ironing his shirt in the middle of the kitchen where I am trying to get bowls out for cereal and cinnamon toast ready for the kids, plus slice up a watermelon all while holding the crying baby who keeps hitting me with her empty bottle because she wants more milk. I eventually put her down to get the kids going on their breakfast....and of course, since she doesn't feel well, and I certainly don't blame her....she is crying as if I had taken away her babydoll and following me around with her little toddle walk and outstretched arms. My husband keeps picking her up because he can't stand the crying, but then he kept saying, I need to get ready, I'm going to be late, as if it were my fault that he's standing there holding the baby. I told him I only have two hands, put her down in the family room, close the babygate, and let her cry. I'll get her in a minute.

Then I remember that I have my class and I have to get everyone together and get them ready to head over to my moms house. Of course, it is a bit chilly outside so I have to search around the piles of laundry for their spiderman, transformer and purple sweatshirts. I finally find them stashed under a pile of crap on the stairs. We get the sweatshirts on, I'm helping with sandals and then I remember that today is speech, ballet and tball. That means that I need the kids to wear socks (two different socks, I most likely can't find a match anyways) and tennis shoes, I need to bring the ballet bag with my daughters tap shoes and ballet shoes and leotard, I need to find the twins periblue tball shirts, I need to find where they ~~hid~~ put their gloves and their hats and where the heck is my oldest sons speech folder! I'm trying to do all of this with the baby following me around wailing. Rough morning.

Ok....so I get to class. I am wearing an old baggy tshirt from my husband's old company picnic a few years back. I did find some nice black exercise pants that fit nice. My hair is stuck in pigtails with mismatched rubber bands and I have a little claw clip holding my bangs up because I'm growing them out and they just hang in my face right now. Lets just say that I was the weird looking fat slob in the corner in the back. Everybody else, even a little old lady, was wearing perfect stuff, with kick ass bods. The good news is that I was there. I made it to the class. I had trouble with some of the ab stuff towards the end, and I only used one pound weights until I learned the moves, but I DID it. And I am going back on Friday. I'll still be wearing my baggy tshirt and funny hair, but at least I will BE THERE!

I don't want to be "that" person

Jun 30 2009 08:52

The baby picked up a virus somewhere. I thought she was just teething but she has a pretty high fever. The nurse said there is a virus going around where they have a fever for five days or so and possibly some other flu like symptoms. Poor little baby. She got up to 103.1 yesterday. I can just tell that she feels like crap. And of course, she lets me know by crying and whining and needing me to hold her all the time. Besides that, she is flushed and it makes her eyes look very very blue and bright. Plus her little curls are kind of damp and clingy around her hairline becuase she is sweating. She has little black circles under her eyes and when I pick her up she just kind of goes limp with her head on my shoulder. I have been rocking her alot and treasuring her cuddly mood. That doesn't happen often, where she is still and cuddly. Mostly she is on the move with things to do, places to explore and siblings to keep up with.

Needless to say, I've got another laundry mountain ready to be folded and a very very messy house. This gives me lots of stress. When I look around and see clutter and piles everywhere, I just feel unsettled.

I'm hoping to have a good eating day today. One can always hope for these things. I had hoped for yesterday to be a good eating day...but after snacking on the kids thin crust pizza, a big portion of whipped sweet potatoes and a big bowl of blueberries and creme ice cream, that didn't happen. I start the day out ok, and then I just get hassled and stressed out and I just give up by the evening. Obviously, you all know that I have not found a solution. I am still here, the same size I was as when I joined months and months ago. I can't give up, but sometimes I wonder if never getting started is kind of the same thing as giving up. Maybe I've already given up and haven't realized it yet. Maybe I am going to keep stressing and worrying about it and just never put in the work to get where I want to be. This is one fear that I have. I don't want to be "that person". I don't want to be the one who always talks about losing weight, always has plans, and never freaking does it. I don't want to be "the fat friend" or "the fat mom" or the "fat daughter". So far, that person is me. I hate that. It fills me with shame to realize this. I guess I am just a parenthesis......."me" . Need to change that. Hope I can. I've got my doubts.

stuff

Jun 29 2009 10:17

My exercise class starts on wednesday! I am excited and nervous for it at the same time. I know I can do all the stuff cardiovascularlly, I am just worried about how my feet will hold up. I guess it doesn't matter. The class is paid for so I am going to do it and finish it three days a week for the next two months even if I have to cut off my feet and replace them with spare GI JOE parts, maybe Barbie, or wrap my feet in ice for the rest of my life.

I'm feeling kind of down today....I think I need to get out with the kids. I made a play date at the park. I hope the baby takes her nap and is feeling happy. I hope her teeth aren't hurting her too bad (she's getting her molars) so that we can stay for longer than five minutes. I wish I had had time to do my laundry so I could wear something clean that looks halfway decent. Instead I am wearing a baggy tshirt (not so baggy anymore though unfortunately) and sweat pants shorts. And of course...flip flops. I should at least put on some foundation since the skin on my face has decided to break out like I am a teenager. What is up with that? I wouldn't mind so much if I looked as young as a teenager, but I don't so much anymore!

cafe mochas, mowing and tricky weeds

Jun 27 2009 08:53

I don't drink coffee, but have discovered that I like McDonald's Cafe Mochas. I need caffeine in the morning so I usually have a diet soda or I'll get a Cafe Mocha with nonfat milk. Well, even with nonfat milk, that is waaaaay to many calories for somebody on a budget like me. Especially when I pretty much go over budget everyday. I have found that Swiss Miss makes a Diet Hot Chocolate powder and it is only 25 calories. I pour a cup of black coffee, mix in the hot chocolate and add a dollop of light cool whip. It isn't perfect but it tastes close enough for me. Cheaper in $$$, lot cheaper in calories and it helps with a wake me up and a chocolate craving.

Got to go mow the lawn. I like to do it early (9am) for two reasons. 1. the pod people aren't sitting out in the neighbors driveway yet (don't like people watching me mow....they just don't get the mowing warrier princess getup) and 2. If I happen to wake up one of the pod people.....oops. So sorry. For those of you who don't know my history of the neighbors...don't worry, I don't really think they are aliens. I just call them that because they drive me crazy and they are a little on the weird side!

My husband is going to weed the front while I mow. Those weeds are intelligent life forms I think. Have you ever gone to weed and think to yourself, is that part of the plant or a weed? How do weeds know how to mimic the real plant? Sometimes I can't tell what is a weed and what is the greenery from the plants that haven't bloomed yet. Tricky weeds.

hurt feelings, fears and good stew

Jun 25 2009 09:09

My youngest son told me that I hurt his feelings today. I frantically reviewed in my mind this mornings happenings to try to figure out what he was talking about. Apparently I hurt his feelings when I told him that no, he couldn't play my computer game. I didn't hurt his feelings the first time I said it, or the second or the third, maybe a little on the fourth time he asked, but by the fifth time he asked (while I was on the phone), I may have ~~shouted~~ said "NO" a little strongly. I told him that I am sorry I hurt his feelings, I am very glad that he told me that I hurt his feelings, and that the answer is still NO to him playing my computer game.

Yesterday at Safety City, my oldest son got to learn how to crawl out of a smokehouse. It is a special camper type little house that they fill with smoke and teach the kids what to do. It sounded neat but when I asked my son about it when I picked him up he just said, "I don't know. I don't remember. Can I have a snack?" I bet if they filled the smokehouse up with animal crackers or chocolate pudding I'd hear a very vivid detailed account of it!

My daughter seems to have conquered her fear of "big kids" enough to go to her ballet class. When I went in there I saw that the big kid was just a tall girl maybe a year older. And she was sitting timidly in the corner. I told my daughter that the big girl looked really scared and maybe my daughter should hold her hand and help her to not be scared. That seemed to help. I think it gave my daughter a different perspective. Of course, when it comes to the playground, she still sticks to me like glue. That is a fear she is just going to have to grow out of. Big kids. I try to tell her that to some of the kids on the playground, SHE is a big kid. She's not buying it though. And alot of times her twin brother sticks to her like glue. I do get a little irritated in those situations. I'll make a special trip to the playground and they are all excited to go. I pack everybody up into the van and drive to the park only to have the twins hang on me and ask me when are we going home. Or, they hang on the baby and pull her arms and legs. That drives me nuts.

I had two glasses of wine last night but did not have birthday cake or ice cream. That is an improvement for me. I usually would have had wine, cake and ice cream. I haven't done any additional exercise. I will be working in the garden this morning.

The stew I made was great! It was a beef stew with sweet potatoes. We really enjoyed it as as summer stew. I'll give you the recipe if you are interested. It was actually from one of the biggest loser cookbooks.

Sorry for the novel!

Forgot his birthday

Jun 24 2009 19:05

I forgot my husband's birthday. He turned 39 and I forgot. I've never been good with remembering dates. My mind just doesn't work that way. I don't measure time by the number of the day of the month. I go by Monday is Tae Kwon Do, Tuesday is Tball, Wednesday is speech, ballet and Tball, Thursday is day at nana's and Friday is can't wait for hub to get home from work day so I can get a little break and hopefully we can veg out and watch movies after the kids go to bed. Then Saturday and Sunday are lets get everything done we possibly can because the weekend is so short and we have lots and lots of stuff to do and not enough time to do it in. So I suppose that is why I forgot. I called him at work and when he answered I started crying and said "I am so sorry I forgot your birthday!". Honestly I have not felt so awful in a long time. I am a shmuck! Anyways, he said it was ok. He knows that we have both been under alot of stress lately. I went out and got him a cake and blueberry ice cream, stuff to make beef stew and a nice bottle of red wine. And a card, one from me and one from the kids. I didn't go the gift route because he asked me not to in order to save money. An honestly, as a stay at home mom, I don't get a salary, so I don't really have any money that isn't really his!

Who knows!

Jun 23 2009 10:51

Well, I am trying again to start eating healthy and avoiding unplanned snacks. I honestly don't have a lot of faith in myself, but I also know that I can't give up. It should be so simple....just don't eat that, get up and exercise, go to bed early and wake up early to work out, eat proper portions, don't eat junk when stressed, etc. etc. The idea is simple. Eat less, exercise more and lose weight. Easier said than done for me! My exerecise class starts the first week of july. I want to be ready for it so I took the kids for a walk around the block. Amazingly enough, only one complained the entire time and the baby was happy. (She is teething right now so you never know!). Then I push mowed the front lawn, used the riding mower on the back, and used the push mower again in the hard to reach areas. Not much, and technically I should be folding laundry mountain, but at least its a start.

I have often wondered what those trainers from the Biggest Loser tv show, Bob and Jillian, would do if they had to spend a week in my shoes watching my children, feeding them, taking care of them and the house, getting them to the places they needed to be, fitting everything around the babies nap schedule, feeding picky eaters, mowing the lawn, having my husband always come home late, etc. etc. I'd like to see how they handled the stress and fitting in time for themselves to work out when the job is to take care of everyone else. I'd just be curious to see what happened. Maybe they would handle it better than I do, lose 50 pounds, and my family would like them better than me. Who knows!

To be that excited about things again!

Jun 15 2009 09:43

We decided to send my son off to soccer camp this morning even if we weren't sure that my husband had sent in the registration. Just in case though, I ~~made~~ suggested that my husband take him this morning. It would be very difficult for me to nicely argue with the registration people with my entire entourage on location. Luckily he didn't have any problems.

Yesterday we went to Dick's Sporting Goods and got a child's soccer package that included cleats, shin guards, soccer socks and a child size ball. I have never seen my son so excited! He slept with his soccer shoes and shin guards right by his bed so that he could put them on first thing in the morning. Oh, to be that excited about things again! My husband called and said there were about five teenage soccer players and ninety little boys. When he left they were all "warming up" by running around and screaming and yelling. I am going to go early to pick him up because I want to watch the ~~chaos~~ happenings.