m_c_85's Journal

I've decided that because my Journal entries are not visually appealing enough, I am going to add a little something extra to the title. You see, I'm in diet purgatory. And I just started.

Today I felt pretty discouraged because I haven't really seen any difference in my weight. Sure I've lost weight, but it isn't weight I don't usually lose and then gain back and then lose. And as I predicted, I've gained back 4 pounds. Sure it happens and I could have paid more attention to what I ate. I just feel like, I've been working at this, not hard but I don't want my life to revolve around losing weight. If I put any more effort into this, it's going to go from a conscious effort to working my ass off (literally). I don't want losing weight to be something I dread. Something I hate, all because of how much work it is. I came into this thinking I could make a lifestyle of it, but right now I hate it. What more do I have to do? I'm down around 1200-1300 calories a day, I walk almost every night, I make sure I drink lots of water, I eat my veggies and my fruit. I never eat past six o'clock. It's been two weeks and I'm getting bigger? Doesn't make sense. I did nothing before, ate like a pig, sat around for entire days. Got high and munched out on whatever I could find. Drank at least 1000 calories a day, and I maintained my weight for the last 3 years. Now I decide I'm going to work at losing weight. I cut out the drugs. I cut out the booze. (except for weekends ;)). I started walking. keeping myself busy so I'm not at home in my recliner. I cut down the calories DRASTICALLY. I can even say that I've been positive the entire time. Until today. I'm completely and utterly bitchy. My mother comes to me and starts giving suggestions of other things I can try and to be honest, I told her to F*ck off. I appreciate her enthusiasm but I don't want to hear about what else I have to do right now. I want what I've been doing to pay off for me. Save a little something for when I hit this famed "Plateau".