manicmuse's Friends

Its part of the illness I have.  I just want to sleep and sleep I did. I got up about 12;45 today and then ate some chips and salsa and laid back down. I got up an hour later and ate 8 chicken wings.  Not healthy at all.  then I just had half a pack of sweet and salty trail mix. 

I feel bloated and ashamed of myself for the lack of control in my eating areana today.  Nothing I can do about it is just know it is consumed and it is what it is.  A binge or mood eating.With sleeping in late today I do got to say I was up at 8;00 and had cheese and crackers for breakfast.  The blood sugars were good. I need to go now because I have some things I want to do right now while I am up to it.So much for the blood sugars being good.  It went up to 272 after 8 3 hours after 8 chicken wings.  That was all I had.  Tired of yo-yo diet and yo-yo sugars.  It was suggested to me to get the pump.  I wasn't sure I could give myself injections, and I do.  Amazing how you can do things once you are forced into it. But the pump seems cumbersome to me.  We'll have to see, I might consider looking into it. Very very hestitant about getting one.

The store had turkey breast on sale today for .99 cents a pound. So I bought a six pounder.  Guess what we are having tomorrow?  Turkey and dumplings, and also turkey and stuffing.  This is before my son goes back to college in the evening.  There are so many things that need to be done before Christmas and I doubt it will get done.  Just have motivation and depression issues.  Not sure how to get over it either.  I just know that I have got to get control of it or it is going to control me as it has been for many many years.  Practically since I can remember. Oh well. . . Enough said of that.

Take care and know this is only until things align itself again when I get to feeling like myself.  We ought to play a lottery game about this. . . . when will heavenly feel herself again?

God Bless.

Yesterday was spent in the doctors office for the diagnosis for the back. Today was spent first thing at the chiropractors office for treatment.  I am not suppose to do alot of walking for a few days.  This new machine he used on me releases the nerve endings from being all balled up. Essentially, by doing that I felt immediate relief. I still can't believe that my back was the problem. But oh, well.

Just got back from the gym. Did you know that back problems can wrec havoc on your intestines and stomache. Well, trust me it does and the doctor confirmed. Worse gas I've ever had the discomfort of releasing and being around. Phew wee! Anyhow, the more I exercised the more it came out. I just quit. I lasted 15 minutes.

Not good eating today. I feel full from the meals I've had today. First, I had a whole wheat bagel with cream cheese for breakfast, for lunch I had a taco and bean burrito from Taco Bell, and for dinner, haven't had it yet but I did have a protein shake

Take care and God Bless.

EDIT

No kidney infection - actually he said it was the back.  Lordy, I have never felt the back pain like that before, honestly thought it was a kidney infection.  The good ole' shoulder has bursitis in it and the stomache, well ibuprophen has taken its toll.  Taking Mylanta now.  Well see how it goes.

Bs 48 at 7:30am.  Orange juice a bagel and some light cream cheese.

I am hurting in the area of the kidney on my back.  It actually started yesterday. And the stomache burning actually started Tuesday. I am thinking the stomache is an ulcer and the back a kidney infection brewing. The shoulder still hurts, Ill be getting that looked at too.  Dr. appointment at noon today. 

You can check this post after 12 to see what the doctor said.

Take care and God bless.

I just wanted to bring to the attention to those out there the meaning of Christmas.  It is about the Christ child who was born this season. So with this is the forefront of my post today, I'd like to remind myself and those of you out there that Christmas is not about gift giving, but the birth of our SAVIOR.

It is hard times right now, with the economy and hopes that it will get better.  There are alot of people without work right now, (my husband included), and sometimes the table seems barren of food, and cheer in the household. But remember, as long as we have the love of the Lord in our heart and souls, we should be able to get through anything, for we must put faith and trust that HE is going to guide and protect us through this valley. SO WITH ALL THAT SAID, I WANT TO BE THE FIRST TO WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS HERE ON CALORIE COUNT.

Today, I decided to bring out the winter holiday cheer clothing.  I am wearing a snowman, sweatshirt.  I thought I'd beat the season itself. LOL

Now as far as the day is going.  Had a really really low blood sugar this morning.  It was 59 and I am sure it was because I had slept in later than normal.  My body is doing some aweful things right now, with this depression I've been in, sometimes sleeping, sometimes lack of sleep and there is no middle road.  At least its been like that for quite some years, I just deal with it. Hence, the times, I talk about not getting sleep and then I talk about its time to go lay back down. Enough of that.

No weigh-in today and right now, I think my appetite is growing but I think my body is shrinking.  Lets hope that is the case.  I've eaten 1340 calories yesterday and 2240 the day before. Can you say food binge for Monday?  I don't know what was going on but it seemed like I had to eat everything in site.  I think I am going to be better today.  We are going to get some exercise in a mall.

Dh has applied for more jobs, which has been ongoing since July..

Take care and God Bless . . . .

Did some walking today to get out of this slump.

Breakfast was toast and OJ

Lunch was a whopper Jr. a few fries and ice tea no sweetner

Dinner having ham and bean and I had a salad.  Not sure where I am calorie wise, because I haven't entered it.  Snacks tonight will be Sweet and Salty Trail mix and airpop popcorn.

Thats pretty much it.

Take care and God Bless All

Edit: I did a weigh-in 262.2 (not normal conditions) which means I actually had a loss.

My DS is now back at college for two weeks then his semester ends.  One last semester and he is on his way into the workforce.  The actual working world of adulthood.  Hard to believe he is an adult and hard for me to imagine that I am that old.

Now on the weight front, I haven't weighed in.  I missed Saturday because we had no meeting. I already ate today and feel cold and under the weather.  I think I have been slowly getting sick and that is why the complaints lately.  It just hasn't latched on.

I had a granola bar for breakfast and a glass of milk.  That's pretty much it.

Take care and God Bless.

I think I gained like 5lbs this past week.  I weighed myself the day after thanksgiving and I was actually at 140, but these last two days have been crazy.  I'm talking tons of pie, cookies, candies, and other goodies.  So I really need to get my butt into gear and eat nutritionally.  We only have 1/2 a pumpkin pie left and about 6 pumpkin muffins, so hopefully that'll be gone by today...and not eaten by me.

Patrick went out of town yesterday for the Tech/Baylor game but is coming back today It's crazy how much we miss each other already.  I don't know what I'm going to do when he's gone for 2 months for boot camp in February.  I'm going to have to keep myself busy somehow.  I can't believe how fast and how hard I fell for him.  I didn't think it was possible.

So anyways.  Patrick is coming back sometime around 11-12 I think and I think we are going to go play ultimate frisbee at some church at like 3:30.  We haven't played with these people yet so we are mostly just checking it out.

LOL.

It has been a good day today even with the news from the vet, (Read my previous entry about that if you are interested).  The day started off well, great blood sugars and well rested. Off to the vet we went, and then more CC for me.

I made a ham stew for lunch today and had one last turkey salad sandwich.  The stew has ham, french cut green beans, onions and red potatoes in it.  The candian steak seasoning is what really makes it.

The weather was good so I woke DH from a nap on the recliner to help with raking the leaves.  I haven't done yard work in a long time, but for some reason, I was motivated to do it and was able to do alot more than normal.  Sure, my shoulder hurt for a little bit but I took a break and it calmed down. So breaks is what I need for this body until I get the muscles in working order.  This weight loss journey has been a long one and I am up to the chore.  I am looking at the end result of where I want to be and just can't wait until that time comes, whenever it will be.  My husband is anxious for me to be tiny again.

I think at times he is not as proud of me as he should be. Then other times, I feel the unconditional love. Does that make sense to anyone?  Have you ever felt that way about your spouse?  I know I get comments from my father all the time and my mother has nothing to say  except  she shouldn't talk because she is bigger than she should be also. Of course, she is 74 years old and doesn't have as many health issues as I have.  There are times when I really resent my genes and more times I am thankful I have the parents GOD intended for me to have.  I get unconditional love there and always have. No matter what!

I missed during this holiday season not playing our normal games, from Thanksgiving to New Years we play Yahtzee, Monopoly, Sorry, and Life but that hasn't happened so far.

Now for the news about my husband work prospects.  He has been connecting with some of his previous co-workers through the internet and there may be some job possibilities he may be contacted about. He has already put a bug in this one fellas ear that he is out looking.  But the circumstance about that is he told my husband that they are having to make a decision about a person they are considering letting go soon.  He said this is the only way he could hire my husband. My DH is not happy about that circumstance so he is waiting for them to call him instead of him calling them.  I don't agree with that but . . . maybe he knows this guy better than I do afterall he worked with him 15 years.  Wish us luck. 

That is all for this evening. I have been on calorie count for the better part of the day today. At one point I commented on a forum about a person who has an ED and was so proud that her parents were happy that she is eating good and gaining weight. A comment upset me so I replied. After reading the persons profile, it indicated they have mental issues, so that explains the condensending manner this person comments all the time.  It is a shame this is mirrored into another persons life.

I too have a mental disorder also,which may be seen at times by my post that are less than cheery, but I do my best not to affect anyone and remain cordial.  There is no sense in projecting a negative attitude for someone who is trying to seek help,in my opinion.

Sorry for a little of this and that in this post. If anything you got to know me a little better and my life as it stands on this journey. From doing yardwork, family life, foods, goals and medical issues I contend with.  Thanks for reading and take care and God Bless.

Edit: The vet visit - Sandy's back leg has a spot that is inflamed and we need to apply medicine to it twice a day for two weeks.  This spot could be a tumor forming, but no confirmation yet. The nails were trimmed and she seemed to be walking a little bit better.  There seemed to be a bit of a soreness in the joint area of her first toe. So we will need to watch.

Of course, she was ready to get out of there so that explains the walking better. LOL. The spot on the back where her elbow is a lesion that is nothing to worry about.  The main thing we went for was her surgical leg.  It has the movement in there and it has arthritis in it, which is to be expected. She is doing ok on that aspect.  The bill wasn't as much as I thought it would be so we were able to pay for it and not charge it.

Take care and have a blessed wonderful day.

No the heater wasn't cranked on higher. You've got to be kidding me?  The DH is a control freak!  He has the thermostat pre-programmed to go no higher than 68. And let me tell you for a diabetic that is cold on the tootsies.  I wish he would take care of me the way I take care of him at times.  It just goes to prove women are more in-tune with the emotional aspects of a life.

Anyhow, we are going to the vet this morning to get Sandy looked at.  Her leg is seeming to give her some problems.  This is the one she had surgery on a little over a year ago and also another leg she is limping on. The poor thing. I don't think she knows which one to favor.  Lets just pray there isn't anything the matter with either one. That the one is just nails that were badly cut and grew out wrong creating a problem.  Lets hope it doesn't cost over 35 dollars either.  That is all I have budgeted for unexpected expenses. That includes the doctors bill I have for Beautys eye this month. Luckily I already paid them at the beginning of the month.

Its 5 months that DH has been out of work. I am getting tired again.  I think I will be going to lay down after the vet. My belly, belly is upset and probably because i had the stupid turkey salad for breakfast, Yes, for breakfast.  Rotten me, for being lazy not to make toast and butter.  But I did have the healthy orange juice.

Well, that is pretty much it. I will update the top of this post with the findings on Sandys legs.

Take care much love. >> > > God Bless.

You won't catch me in the stores this holiday season.  I don't believe in going out and purchasing gifts of extravagance and I don't have the money.  The best that is going to be done here is to purchase some videos on line that are used from Familyvideo.com.

There will be no weigh in this Saturday as our chapter is closed.  I guess enough time for people to gather their weight back into control from the holiday.  I honestly thought we'd be somewhere doing something.

I will be making turkey and dumplings, well, see how it goes from here.  Not sure If I should be putting chicken boullion in the pot , but there sure isn't any turkey boullion,.  Right now, I feel kinda punny again. Low blood sugar this morning and it was a bit high when I went to bed last night. 186 at 10:45.

Well I did have good blood sugars all day until the night where it went higher. I guess it was a delayed reading.

Today is my day out with my friend,  I am not sure I am going to go out. I havent' decided yet.  Well, gotta go and make some food .

Take care and God Bless. . . .