manta515's Journal

Still droppping.... slowly
May 05 2008 14:01

So, I had a weigh-in yesterday and I am down from 145 on Easter to 143.  Only 2 lbs in 6 weeks but hey... its two pounds right, its still a loss.  Plus, I haven't REALLY been trying to keep a 500 cal deficit lately like I was in the beginning, and not REALLY counting, only estimating roughly in my head.  AND, I have upped what I average per day, plus I find that I eat a bit more on workout days.  In my head, I kind of feel like as long as I don't go over maitenance, then I am doing good, and if I am under... bonus.  With not being sure how many cals I am consuming, its hard to say whether I am only actually averaging ~150 cal deficit/day or if I am just in a bit of a plateau, not that it really matters.  I kind of have the attitude of being fairly happy where I am at, while still wanting to drop a little more.  I am now 5 lbs from my orginal goal weight and 8 from my revised gw.  Not too bad.  I also know that I am in the range now that every couple of pounds I loose are fairly noticeable.  I guess as long as the scale keeps heading slowly in the right direction, I should be happy with the way things are going and I guess I mostly am.  I have a bday coming up (32, eek!), so hope to enjoy that day, and can say that I am quite proud of myself for getting my weight back on track after letting it go terribly wrong for the last two years.  I refuse to lose that female midlife battle with weight and hope that I can just keep things on track for the years ahead.  8 more lbs and I am at my "fighting weight" as I like to refer to it.  Plus, I figure if I get really motivated for a few weeks, I could easily drop about 4 lbs in 4 weeks, so that makes me even that much closer.  Maybe at the end of this winter I will work to drop the last bit for the summer and bikini season. 

Of course there is the thought... only 4 more lbs and I will be in the 130's!  Only been there one other time in my adult life.  I guess I will just see how I feel and follow my level of motivation to lose. 

More motivation to maintain than to lose
Apr 23 2008 18:51

So I am hovering around 144 lbs now, with my goal as 135, and I think I am just so happy to be below my pre pregnancy weight that I have actually lost the motivation to religiously count and lose the last 10 lbs or so.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I really do want to lose it eventually, I think I just need some time to enjoy being a healthy, happy me (I am back at a healthy BMI!).  I want the motivation back too, but right now I am enjoying be able to sneak a little here and there and eat fairly normally and not gain weight.  I am also doing quite a bit of training for various races which I think is making me hungrier overall.  Not sure what the answer is to get the motivation for that last 10.  I know the last 10 is always tough, but I have really only lost about 1 lb since Easter.  I know I am not counting, but I also know that I am not really going overboard too much.  I am allowing myself more days off from counting to go out and enjoy "cheat days" whereas before I was religious about keeping my cals at or slightly below the goal for the day.  Now I kind of feel like as long as I am at or below maintenance for the day, its all good.  I think maybe this will be good for me, no fast weight loss for a little while, just consistency in my eating without counting and in theory I should drop weight very slowly as long as I have small deficits along the way.  I will see how this goes. 

I am having a Fat Day
Mar 26 2008 15:31

Well, after feeling on top of the world last week and really thinking I was starting to look great, I am in the grips of a fat day.  I guess at least I know its a fat day and that hopefully it will pass sooner rather than later.  Part of the problem is that I am bloated and gassy (I know TMI), and I am not sure why honestly.  I guess it could be the easter chocolate that I have been sampling the last few days.  Damn chocolate!   Maybe I should just toss the rest.  Its not that I am overeating  or anything, and even with the chocolate I am within my calories, but I can't imagine what else might be causing this really.  I think the worst part is that I am wearing the same outfit that last week made me feel like I looked absolutely fabulous, and today I just don't feel the same in it.  Weird eh?  It has to be the bloated tummy and killer cramps... it just has to be.

Oh well, on the more positive side of things, this morning was a 3.8 mile run, and I finally had one of THOSE runs.  The ones where you are moving at a good pace, and just feel like you could keep going and going and going.  I recall awhile back wondering when running would start to feel easier, and well, I realized this morning... it has!  10 more lbs to my goal and I am hoping to reach it by May 15 (my bday), but have joined a thread to lose it by the May 24th just to give me a little extra time.  I am wondering if I want to go lower than 135, the low end of healthy for me is like 115, but the last time I was 130, I found it REALLY hard to maintain.  I think this time around I am even better equipped, so I will see how I feel at 135 and then go from there. 

I am back and feeling FANTASTIC!
Mar 20 2008 06:55

So, its been a logn time since I last posted.  Me and the family took a 3 week trip back to the states and I just returned to OZ on Monday.  I am still suffering a bit of jet lag, but otherwise things are going well.  I had a great trip back home for my brother's wedding and see mine and my husbands family.  I even resolved to NOT count calories while I was there and just enjoy the time there.  Of course I tried to be sensible, but I did allow a few treats along the way.  And guess what?  I didn't gain a single pound, in fact, I am pretty sure I lost some more weight during my time there.  I weighed myself on my mom's scale at home when I got there and when I left and I was down ~4 lbs from when I arrived.  I kept up with my running while I was there, although not the full 5 days a week, but at least 3 or 4 days.  I also got to go clothes shopping and let me tell you, I used to LOVE clothes shopping until I gained weight and now I am back to that loving clothes hopping feeling.  I am a solid size 10 now (down from a 14/16 when I started). It was so great to not stress too much about food and come away with the feeling that I actually could live "normally"  even if I did stress a bit everytime we went out to eat, but I did pretty good regardless.  All I have to say is that I don't envy everyone living in the states with all the temptations, it is much easier being here. 

Anyway, I had a great moment this morning when I went to get dressed.  All of my post pregnancy clothes were way too big, and many of my pre pregnancy clothes were loose on me.  I am wearing a pair of pants that my mom had given me about 3 years back that were too small at the time she gave them to me.  I am thinking it is time for a closet cleaning although I always worry about gaining weght again and then having no clothes.  So, I am not sure what my official weight is, I would say 145 or even maybe less, whihc means I am quickly approaching my initial goal.  I am very happy with the way I look right now and will just let things take there course without really trying too hard to lose now.  Its been a great journey for me so far and I hope that I can keep this positive outlook for the rest of my life.

Officially in the 140's
Feb 25 2008 12:36

Ok, so I know I posted awhile ago about possibly being in the 140's but I really didn't know because I weighed myself on a different scale and all... Well, turns out that scale was off compared the "the weigh-in scale"  But, I was at my friends place last night with "the weigh-in scale" and had my first official weigh-in in 6 weeks!  I can't believe I went 6 weeks without weighing and worrying about weighing and obsessing about weighing.  I just did 6 weeks without counting calories either... well I counted roughly in my head and I always log my exercise because I do like to see how much I burn.  But anyway... now for the official number.....

149.6. 

Ok, I know not exactly blasting below 150, but there is a 49 in it and not a 50!

So at first I was actually a little disappointed because I expected a more dramatic loss in 6 weeks, but then when I sat back and thought about it, I lost 6.5 lbs in 6 weeks, thats a little over 1 lbs a week, and guess what, I have been sticking to a deficit of ~ 500 calories a day which would equate to... yep you guessed it, 1 lbs per week.  Once I sat back and realized that, I was quite pleased with my weight loss.  It means that I am right on track with what I am putting in vs. what I am burning.  I think the initial disappointment came because for awhile I was losing almost 2 lbs/week, but weight alwyas comes off quicker at first I think.  So.... all I keep thinking is only 10 more lbs and I will be in the 130's!  Plus, it says on CC I should reach my goal of 138 by may 15.  Thats not too far away, only 2.5 more months!  I can do this, I am over halfway there and if I think about it the way I think of my longer runs... I am on the home stretch, if I keep pushing for just a little longer, I will be done and then I can just focus on staying healthy.  Wow, I never thought I would see the light, but I do.

Running and Numbers
Feb 13 2008 16:05

So,  I have had two breakthroughs this week! 

First, today, I FINALLY pushed myself past the 3 mile mark in my runs.  I went 3.7  miles this morning, but could have gone further.  It was starting to drive me crazy that at right around 3 miles, I felt like I was hitting a wall and that my legs were going to fall off and I was sucking wind.  But... today I slowed my pace slightly (from a 10 minute mile to an 11 minute mile), and I swear I could have gone FOREVER.  It was such a great feeling and I have felt good ALL day because of it.  Even looking forward to really pushing my short run tomorrow morning. 

Second, I feel like I am starting to overcome my obsession with numbers... both calories and pounds.  Although i weighed myself last week, I have no idea how accurate i was, and you know what?  I don't really care, I KNOW I look better, I KNOW I have lost weight, and I KNOW I am healtier.  Also, I have become a lot more lenient with my calories, and I find it better that I just keep a rough estimate in my head instead of actually counting.  It really keeps the guilt at bay when I eat a little too much, and stops me worrying and stuffing my face if I haven't quite reached my goal for the day.  At the end of the week, I figure it all evens out.  Now, I am not saying I wouldn't LOVE to know how much more I have actually lost, but I am not obesessed with it, and feel that I can keep going without atcually seeing a number!

I think I may be in the 140's
Feb 09 2008 08:30

Well,

 I was at a friends place last night and stepped on their scale and it said 67.5 kg (148.5).  Well, at first it really said 69.5-70kg, but then when I stepped off I noticed the scale was reading at 2kg without anything on it.  So I re-zeroed the scale and then it said 67.5 kg.  Not entirely sure how accurate that scale is, but it made me feel good anyway.  Plus, I just tried on some of my size 12's and size 10's and my size 12's are starting to fit quite well, while I can get into my size 10's and even those are getting better.  My size 14's are all big on me at this point and range from literally falling off of me to me being able to pull them down without unbuttoning them.  I would say that I am pretty much in my pre pregnancy clothes now (which doesn't surprise me if that scale is correct because I was ~145 lbs before I got pregnant), and other than a bit of a shape change from having a baby, they fit quite well.  Anyway, I think being sick might have been a good push to my weight loss along, although I really wouldn't recommend it as a weight loss tool 

Oh, and I paid the price of eating a couple slices of pizza and a small piece of cake last night, and then my stomach felt AWFUL for the rest of the night.  It still feels a pit off this morning.... oh well, just goes to show how much better eating good food it for you

I Did It!
Feb 08 2008 11:54

.... but boy it was TOUGH!  Well, I was finally feeling mostly healed today so I decided I would try to go for a run.  At first I thought I should just try to do 2 miles and keep it easy and then figured what the heck, lets go for 3 and if I have to walk the last mile, so what.  So my alarm went off at 5:15 am and I looked outside and it was POURING rain.  Ugh!  Now, on normal days when I am feeling perfectly healthy, running in the rain might not be so bad and I would consider doing it, but this morning after three days off from running and still not feeling 100% better, I rolled over said screw it and went back to sleep.  BUT... I decided I would run on my lunch break at work, so went to my trusty mapmyrun.com website and mapped the loop around my work complex to see how far it was.  Turns out its 0.63 miles, so 5 times around would be 3 miles!  Perfect, that way if I try it out and I am not feeling good after 1 or 2 laps, I can just go back in to work.  Plus, we have a shower in the womens bathroom here at work, so that makes it even more convenient.  So I brought all my gear to work with me, and at around 10 am I looked out my window to see the dark clouds rolling back in (yeah the weather has been pretty crappy here lately, good for the drought the country has been in for I don't know how many years now, but not good for the warm enjoyable summer I was looking forward to!)  So, I figured, ok, its now or never because if it starts raining again, I probably won't go today, and we are going to a bday party tonight which means I want to be able to enjoy that a little without feeling guilty.  So, I went, and I ran a bit slower than normal, I ended up doing a 10:30 minute mile instead of my regular 10 minute mile, and I REALLY had to push myself, and I had a harder time than normal breathing (I think thats because I am still probably not entirely recovered), but in the end, I did ALL 5 laps (3.15 mile!).  I was so proud of myself for doing it, and I actually didn't mind doing the laps as much as I thought I would, kind of made the run go quicker in a way because the loop was less than a mile, so I just got to count down the number of laps to go.  On a positive note, my legs felt really strong (probably the three days off).  I am going to take tomorrow off as it is normally a rest day for me and then try to get my 5 day a week schedule back on track next week. 

I think I am just so proud of myself because I used to get so down on myself for missing a workout, and this just shows that thinsg can happen and even if I do miss a few days, just getting back to it ASAP means that nothintg is really lost.  I just hope I don't get sick like this again for a LONG time!  Oh, and thank god Coral hasn't gotten sick yet!  Fingers crossed.

Being sick
Feb 07 2008 09:42

Well, my illness from Monday became full blown on Tuesday, well actually I starting feeling pretty bad monday night.  I even toyed with the idea of going to the 24 hr medical center by my place to see a doctor, but then just figured I could wait until morning..... BIG MISTAKE.  I woke up Tuesday morning with my throat so sore I could barely swallow my own spit let alone food or water!  I TRIED to eat something for breakfast, but took two bits of my oatmeal and just gave up it hurt so much.  I then had to make the 50 minute drive to take my daughter to daycare and went to see a doctor out by my work and her daycare.  I got in to see the doctor right away and she wrote me a prescription, and as I went to pay the bill for hte visit, I all of a sudden felt really dizzy and nauseous.  The receptionist took me into the nurses room and I took two steps into their room and proceeded to collapse.  I layed on the floor for a few minutes and the nurse finally convinced me to get up on one of the beds.  I layed there for a few minutes and started feeling better, so decided I could go to the chemist in the medical center and get my prescription filled and get a sprite to try to get some sugar into my system.  Well, as soon as I was up and moving again, I started feeling faint.  I did get my prescritpion and some sprite, and went back to nurses room and layed back down.  The nurse brought me two cookies and I forced those down because I knew I needed to get something in my system.  Finally, after almost 2 hrs at the doctors I was able to drive myself home where I slept the rest of the day away until I had to go pick up my daughter.  Needless to say I have been living on a diet of soup and a bowl of ice cream (we ran out after that one little bowl and it was only ~ 1 cup of ice cream) as those were the only things that I could get down my throat and would make it feel better.  Popsickles would have worked too, but we didn't have any at home.  So from what I gather, I have probably had a sum and total of about 1200-1400 calories over the last two days, but haven't really been counting.  I am going to TRY to eat a bit more today, but still my throat is not 100%, and I am still a bit nauseous on and off.  And I will try not to worry about counting as I know that I just need my body to get better. 

To top this all off, because I have been so sick, running has been totally out of the question, so now I have gone three days without going for a run (the longest break I have taken since starting my running program).  I am hoping I will feel up to going tomorrow morning to get myself back into the swing of things.  All I have to say is that this REALLY SUCKS!  I hope everyone else is doing well and staying healthy.  Hey, maybe I lost some weight over the last few days from lack of ability to eat!  ha! just kidding, anything I lost is probably water weight anyway... good thing I don't have a scale

Argh!!!!!!! I am sick
Feb 04 2008 13:21

So, I woke up this morning with my throat on fire.  But, I was so damn dedicated that I actually got up and went for a two mile run anyway.  I guess thats a bit of the obsessive me coming out, but I did do the run a bit easier, wasn't trying to push to increase my speed and it was a shorter run so i figured it would be ok.  Well, I got caught in the pouring rain and if ai hadn't been sick I probably would have really enjoyed it!  I am hoping that I will feel better in a few days.  Tomorrow is a rest day from running for me, so I will just take it easy.  Had a bit of a mixed bag weekend, went to a BBQ at a friends on Saturday night and probably ate a little more than I should have, but since I decided not to count my calories that day, that has helped me not stress too much over it.  We also had a friends over on Friday night, and I made a homemade Lasanga which I have no idea how many calories were in a piece, but I assume about 500, so even with a piece of that, a small 100 cal piece of desert and a small glass of wine, I still think I stuck to my calorie allowance for the day.  On a downside, I gave in to the temptation and went and paid to weigh myself on the scale outside the grocery store I normally go to, and it said I hadn't lost ANY weight since about 3 weeks ago, made me feel crappy and I shouldn't have even bothered since I have no idea how that scale compares to the one I have been using to track my progress.  In the end I once again contemplated getting a scale since it will help me track progress, but I am still not sure if I can handle the emotional ups and downs it will dish out.... stupid scales.  Oh well, at least I am not dying to go step on a scale anymore, and as long as I keep running and keep eating well, if nothing else, my health will be better even if the weight isn't coming off.  So, I have now increased to running 3 miles 3 days a week and 2 2 days a week.  I plan to increase that mileage, but I am having problems increasing and am trying to sort that out (I think it may have something to do with doing it first thing in the am and not eating beforehand). 

Ahh well, back to my monday blues and the work that is calling my name and I really need to get done before the end of the work day.