marlyken's Friends

After three slices of pepperoni pizza last night, I'm feeling better today. I spent all day yesterday hungry and gorged at dinner last night while managing to still have a 3-500 calorie deficit. I still can't figure out where I should be calorie-wise. Oh well.

I've planned out all our dinners for next week and have my shopping list ready for the trip to the store after work. I feel so prepared and that makes me feel better. It should also help keep my spending in check which we really need to do this week.

Emma has an eye doctor's appointment on Monday immediately after she gets her MMR. That's kind of a wild card as I don't know how much we'll have to pay. I usually don't pay anything for my visits but Ryan pays out the a-- for his. He, of course, has detached retinas, coloboma (his irisis aren't fully formed giving his pupils a keyhole shape), no upper peripheral vision and night blindness. So given Emma's family history of vision problems, we won't be surprised if she has to get glasses. It's just and expense we weren't expecting. Oh, and she also chipped a tooth at playgroup last night. Luckily, we have a dentist appointment already scheduled for the 29th. It's not a big chip so she can wait.

I think I've been really bloated. My belly has felt huge the past week but I'm finally feeling back to normal this morning. It must have been all the water I drank yesterday. I'm going to try to keep it up today, too. I also went to bed at 8:30 last night and slept until 5:30 this morning. Guess I needed that.

Tonight I'm going to make a little plush monster doll with a reversible face for my cousin's first birthday gift. I'm excited to get sewing again. My fingers have been itching to do it all week. I have most of the supplies to make it and a basic pattern worked up already. The party is tomorrow night so I have a lot to do after the kids go to bed.

We're 3/4 of the way done with Christmas shopping. That makes me feel a bit better about having no money this week. We can take a break from shopping until Ryan gets his bonus on the 19th. That will allow us to finish things up the following weekend.

Okay, so that's not going to happen. But I'll try to minimize it after having 29 grams already today (10g saturated--50% RDI).

Breakfast: 1 slice Oroweat Extra Fiber toast topped with 1T shredded cheese and 1 egg white. 1/2 banana and coffee w/3T sugar free creamer.

Lunch: 1 cup baby carrots, 1/2 cup raw broccoli, 1/4 cup raw cauliflower, 1/4 cup cherry tomatoes, 1T ranch dip, 4T spinach artichoke dip, 9 tortilla chips, 1 teeny tiny buffalo chicken thing and 1 (100 cal) red velvet cupcake.

Okay, my lunch is strange. I didn't pack one this morning and planned on running to Costco at lunch since we need milk and I was just going to get a bunch of lettuce for a salad. Well, some lady blocked the drop-off at daycare for 15 minutes and it caused me to barely make it on time which didn't leave me any time to take a lunch break.

Thankfully, my office had a party last night and they brought out all the leftover food today. That's why it's all appetizer-ish stuff. I went straight for the veggie platter and filled 2/3 of my plate with them. I don't know why but I do NOT like raw broccoli or cauliflower. Waxy and tastes earthy. No matter how much I want to like it, I just don't. I love them cooked just not raw. All those veggies kept me from going overboard with everything else (like the meatballs that have 270 calories in 5 tiny ones!).

I've also been drinking water like crazy. I'm at 192 ounces so far and peeing like crazy. I've been having lots of honey water to keep me warm and to keep me from drinking coffee. Something happened with the heater in our office last night and it was in the 50s indoors when I got here thanks to the below-zero weather last night. My office mate was kind enough to bring in a space heater.

Playgroup tonight. Not sure what we're going to do for dinner. We don't have much at home so I imagine I'll just thaw some chicken breasts and have some veggies with it. Not too fun but it's quick and easy.

I've switched myself back to "lightly active" with a burn of approximately 1800, aiming for a 500 calorie deficit daily.

So far today:

Calories in: 685

Fat - 35.8% (29 grams)
Protein - 11.9% (22 grams)
Carbohydrates - 52.3% (95 grams)
Alcohol - 0%
Other - 0%

Daily Sodium Intake - 1,358 mg
Daily Sugar Intake - 28 grams
Daily Cholesterol Intake - 47 mg
Daily Saturated Fat Intake - 10 grams
Daily Fiber Intake - 18 grams

I live in a suburb on the south side of Kansas City. It seems like we're always right on the line of "wintery mix" and "snow." It usually misses us. We got zero snow last night but they're saying we'll wind up with 2-4 inches this evening. I sure hope so. I love the snow. It makes everything seem so quiet and bright.

I made sure to be prepared for whatever the weather could throw at us. I gassed up the car, threw the giant stroller in the back for some added weight, got the spray can of ice melt in the car along with the telescoping ice-scraper (I drive a Suburban and I'm only 5'3" so I need a giant scraper to reach). It's icing now and is supposed to continue throughout the day and change over to snow eventually. I hope we have some accumulation by the time I pick Emma up so we can get out and play in it (and burn some calories!).

Speaking of Emma...her arm is better. It's not as red but it has spread further down her arm and is still swollen, itchy, bruised and painful to the touch. I gave her Benadryl last night which put her in a total funk. She was a zombie. I should have expected that given I have the same reaction to Benadryl.

So, I'm feeling very large and chubby lately. I don't think I've gained weight but I definitely feel like it. My tummy is all flabby and big and my love handles are out of control. I'm participating in the December Calorie Deficit Challenge because I feel like I need a bit of accountability. I hadn't been logging all my calories until I started the challenge. That's when I realized that my coffee is making me fat. Okay, not really but I take in about 400 calories a day in my coffee. I had no idea.

I've been averaging a 700 calorie deficit since the beginning of the month. That's if my calorie expenditure is actually correct at 2,030 calories/day (moderately active). I'm pretty sure I haven't lost any weight yet which means I'm either eating too much or too little. I wish it were easier to get rid of these 20 pounds. It should be easy to lose that much weight. I can understand how it would be difficult to lose the last 5 or so pounds but 20?! This should be EASY!

I can do this and here's how:

• Stop eating dessert with coffee in the evening. One or the other but not both.
• Limit myself to two cups of coffee a day unless I start drinking it black.
• 20 minutes of Tae Bo DVD 5 days a week.
• Get my water intake back up to 500+ ounces per day. I've been slacking.
• Continue logging every calorie.

I know I've set goals for myself in the past just to completely ignore them. Not this time. I'm printing off several copies and taping them on my mirror and the refrigerator. I want to lose at least 5 pounds by Christmas. It might be too much weight to aim for but if I start doing the above, the first week's loss should be significant.

Now, come on Snow! I'm ready!

I never know what I should set my activity level at so I've just left it at "lightly active" for as long as I've been on CC. Today I decided that I need to move it up to "moderately active" since I'm on my feet from the time I wake up until the time the kids go to bed. Well, that's not entirely true. I sit a lot at work but I also do lots of heavy lifting. I still don't know if that's where I should be or not. I do try to work out 3 times a week but that doesn't always happen.

So, CC suggests I now burn just over 2,000 calories a day. With my intake today, I'll have just over a 600 calorie deficit as long as I don't have any more coffee or dessert. I've realized that adding creamer to my coffee is adding 200+ calories a day to my intake. That is insane! I don't want to cut out coffee and I don't want to drink it with milk and sugar instead of creamer. Maybe I'll go back to drinking flavored coffee instead.

So my day is looking like this:

Calories in: 1,353

Calories out: 2,030

Fat - 24.5% (38 grams)
Protein - 28.6% (100 grams)
Carbohydrates - 46.9% (164 grams)
Alcohol - 0% 
Other - 0%

Daily Sodium Intake - 735 mg
Daily Sugar Intake - 57 grams
Daily Cholesterol Intake - 167 mg
Daily Saturated Fat Intake - 10 grams
Daily Fiber Intake - 28 grams

Whaaaaa? Check out that sodium intake! It can't be right so I'm going through and rechecking my log (it's right). And thanks to my creamer, sugar is outrageous!

I'm feeling better than I was yesterday but am losing steam quickly. I may try to squeeze in some Tae Bo while dinner's in the oven but if I feel as badly as I did last night, I won't. I also have a lady coming over to buy John's changing table. And the kids need baths. And Ryan wants to play drums. And, and, and. It will be busy.

I'm participating in a cookie exchange this weekend with the other moms from playgroup. That means we'll have 6 dozen cookies in the house after Sunday. Ryan wants me to make an extra several dozen of my cookies because he loves them so much. The problem is, I do too!

Vive la resistance!

I want long hair again. I'm talking bottom-of-the-shoulder-blades-or-longer long.

I want a bike with a trailer for my kids.

I want to be in control of our finances instead of letting our finances control us.

I want a bigger house. We barely have enough room to all be in the house at the same time.

I want a new car. Not a brand new car but a new-to-me car.

I want to be able to stay at home with my kids and be super-mom.

I want a digital reader so I can stop paying fines to the library.

I want to be more like my mom.

I want to learn how to garden and landscape.

I want to be an amazing cook and baker.

I want to live long enough to know my children as adults and watch my grandchildren grow up at least a little bit.

I'm getting ready to leave so I can have lunch with my sweet Emma. It's her daycare's Thanksgiving celebration today and the parents are invited to lunch. She gets so excited when I come to these things that it makes it hard on her when I leave again. I can't decide if I'm actually going to eat the food they serve. I have a complex about eating in front of strangers. If it makes her happy, I'll do it. If she doesn't care, I'll eat when I get back to work.

Tonight Ryan has a show in Manhattan (Kansas, that is) which is 1.5-2 hours away. Luckily he doesn't have to drive or even bring his own drumset, just a few pieces. So he'll be leaving around 6pm. I'm going to try to get ruby slipper cookies (party favors) made before he has to leave and then make Emma's requested birthday shirt after the kids go to bed. I'm feeling pretty crummy so I hope I can stay awake to do it.

Tomorrow morning, I have to bake the cupcakes for the party, go to the cake store to get some last minute items, go to US Toy to get some cheap party favors and do it all without Ryan's help. I want him to be there for the party and not be a crabass so I'm letting him sleep in tomorrow. I've enlisted the help of my parents in the morning to keep the kids occupied while I shop. I get to see my girlfriend at Emma's party tomorrow which makes me happy. She seems to be one of the few that gets me and can carry on a non-awkward conversation. And her husband rocks, too. They are some seriously funny people.

After the party, we don't have anything planned for the rest of the weekend except our financial class Sunday night. Hopefully we'll spend Sunday cleaning the house in preparation for our families coming over for Emma's birthday on the 27th. I cannot for the life of me find a kid's restaurant that accepts reservations. I don't want to show up with 16 people and have to wait for 30 minutes while they scramble to figure out what to do with us. I guess that's just how it'll have to be.

Thanksgiving is going to be nice and relaxing this year. We usually spend lunch at my in-law's house and then dinner at my parent's house. This year, though, my in-laws will be with my husband's grandfather about 2 hours away. No rushing around, trying to get all the activities in. Just eating and then laying around napping in the afternoon. I'm lucky because my mom is a former chef who is now into health foods. I know that whatever she makes will be good for me and it will taste good, too. I can probably overdo it because there will be tons of veggies (non-mashed potato veggies).

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

PS-I weighed in this morning. I was 126 which is 0.8 pounds above my last weigh-in. I was fully clothed and had a very full bladder, though. I'm a little disappointed that I only maintained during the last month but I know exactly why I did. That's for another journal, though.

I have just kind of been around on CC the past couple days. Don't know why but I just haven't felt up to posting. Maybe it's because I'm finally coming down with whatever the kids have had despite being diligent about my hand washing, food sharing and germ avoidance. Oh, well. Moms can only do so much. I'm not going to turn down a good cuddle with one of the kids to avoid getting sick.

My food today looks great! Despite all these great food days, I don't think I'm losing weight. I guess I shouldn't say that since I haven't weighed myself in a month so I have no way of knowing. At this point, I can't lose enough weight to go down a clothing size so I have no way of knowing if I've lost anything. I'm wearing a size 4 pant and that's as small as I've been in my adult life thanks to my medium frame. Whatever. I'm happy with having some curves and not looking like a pre-teen. =]

Calories in: 1,320

Calories out: 1,750 [430]

Fat - 19.7% (31 grams)
Protein - 29.9% (105 grams)
Carbohydrates - 50.4% (177 grams)
Alcohol - 0% 
Other - 0%

Daily Sodium Intake - 1,284 mg
Daily Sugar Intake - 40 grams
Daily Cholesterol Intake - 201 mg
Daily Saturated Fat Intake - 12 grams
Daily Fiber Intake - 37 grams

Holy cow! I have a feeling that I'll regret those 37 grams of fiber later today or tomorrow. I probably need to double or even triple my water intake today (because of being sick and the fiber).

Tonight is Emma's dance class and I'm especially looking forward to it because John's staying home with Ryan. That means I get 45 uninterrupted minutes of reading time in and I don't have to chase John around and tell him "no" every 5 minutes.

I'm trying to prepare for Emma's party but we've only had 4 RSVPs. I know more than that will come but it irritates me that they can't call or e-mail me to tell me. It's not "regrets only" it's RSVP, people! I don't want to bake three dozen cupcakes if I don't have to! And party favors!

I also called the place we were planning on having her family celebration (the train restaurant) and found out that they (a) don't take reservations and (b) don't have a table that would seat more than 6. That's a problem considering we'd have 13-16 people there. Now I have to find a new place to eat. Maybe I'll just make chili or enchiladas (Emma's favorite meals) and we can eat at our house even though it's way too small to fit all those people.

I'm not terribly stressed out about the party yet. I don't know what to get for favors. I know that I'm going to bake ruby slipper cookies as part of them but don't know what else to do. Maybe I'll get some coloring books and stickers. That way, if nobody shows up, we'll at least be able to use them. And I'm not planning on baking cupcakes until the day of the party and that worries me a little. I can always go pick up something premade if they turn out badly.

Next week I have a four day weekend to look forward to! Yay!

I'm so ready for the snow they're predicting today! Winter is my favorite time of year and I've been jonesin' for some snow for weeks now. It hasn't started yet but they're basically saying it's just a matter of hours. Wee!

This weekend was busy but good. Dinner Friday night was AMAZING! John slept through the meal and Emma was so well-behaved. We ordered way too much food...spider rolls, Las Vegas rolls, Hawaiian rolls, Philadelphia rolls and California rolls. Plus the salad and miso soup. Delish! According to my FIL, it cost about $350 for all of that plus the two bottles of wine they had. Oh well, he probably makes that working for one hour.  I got a $100 gift card to Crate and Barrel, some various kitchen gadgets and some awesome handmade jewelry.

We had Christmas/birthday photos taken on Saturday morning. We went with my SIL and her family and got some photos of the cousins together. We also had Christmas photos of our whole family, Emma's 5th birthday photos and John's 1st birthday photos. Once I get them on the computer, I'll have to link them because they are awesome!

***Warning, possible TMI***

We watched my nephew Saturday night. It started out as watching him while my in-laws saw Wicked. Then, it turned into watching him while they went out to dinner beforehand, too. Then, it was drinks after the show. So, we watched him from 5pm until midnight. I guess that's what my FIL was talking about when he e-mailed me. Also, my nephew's been throwing up his bottles for weeks now. My SIL tried to pass it off as no big deal but he projectile vomited his last bottle before bed all over me. I managed to keep it contained in his blanket by blocking its path with my hand. So I've learned that formula smells even worse coming out than it does going in. So, after I've bathed him, put him in some of John's old jammies and washed his clothes, my SIL and her husband come in half-drunk and don't even bother thanking us. Ryan was almost furious with her. Oh, well.

Ryan's band got screwed over last night. The were booked to play a show by a third-party who lied to the bar owner about the band. The booker told the bar owner that the band was the one my husband was in with our friend who died and, well, he can't exactly perform anymore. So after the band played one set (1/3 of their show), the owner told them to pack their stuff and get out. They didn't play poorly, just not the music that was expected. Ryan's cut of the show was $200 and now he's not sure that he'll get it. Lame. At least he was in a decent mood this morning instead of the crabass I expected.

I have to get ready for Emma's parties this week. Her friend party is this Saturday and doesn't require much from me other than baking cupcakes and getting party favors. I'm going a little wild with her family party on the 27th so that's going to take some planning but it's going to be so fun!

Hope everyone has a great week!