mdm1179's Journal

The Dawn of my personal INDEPENDENCE
Jul 04 2009 12:48

I found this site on 6-30-09. I was already pretty adamant about losing my extra wieght but I didnt have a plan.....this site helped tremendously in giving me somewhere to hold myself accountable.

I think the most motivation I recieved was when my husband saw me weighing my portions and buying fresh foods at the market......he responded by calling his friends and making fun of me. He told me that I wouldnt follow thru and it would "never happen". Something inside me changed at that moment. I realise that I have absolutely no control in my life, but my weight doesnt have to be that way. My body is the one thing that I can manipulate and control to look the way I want it to. I may not be the smartest woman alive and I may have made some really bad choices in life, but this....this is something that is totally in my hands. No one controls what goes into my body but me.  My response to him poking fun at my attempt to lose weight..... I did cry but it was tears of determination not defeat. I will be the one laughing when I am finally at my goal weight...laughing out of joy and accomplishment. I am looking forward to that day. I know it is going to be a long road and the excercise part is the hardest thing to do. I have to build my endurance back up to what it used to be. walking around the park is one thing but biking around the park is a whole new ball game. I think the thing I miss most about being at a healthy weight is my hipbones....how odd that I miss those. When I used to lay down in the bath tub I could see them...now I cant even see, well you know....

OK so 1200 calories a day isnt much...or so I thought. But HOLY COW! that is a butt load of fruits and veggies! I dont think I have ever eaten this many fresh foods in the past ten years......

The saddest part is no more Mayo.....goodbye my beloved Dukes Mayo...sigh No more mac n cheese.....I didnt realize how sleepy all of those foods made me. I am beginning to have energy like I havent had in years. I want to move around and do things. It is really perking up my attitude and making me more social, which is also something I have avoided. I've been so ashamed of my body that I wouldn't even go out with my husband. I refuse to stay like that. THIS IS THE DAWN OF MY PERSONAL INDEPENDENCE.