melly991's Journal

My race was incredibly hard but completely awesome.  I mean, I ran a 10k race that was really hard, and I did it faster than other people.  My results are totally respectable.  I can't even imagine going back to that unhealthy lifestyle of 6 months ago.

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The recommendations I got were:

    Ex Fat Loss                               Fat Loss                Maintain Monday 1413 1883 2354 Tuesday 1352 1507 1883 Wednesday 1695 2260 2825 Thursday 1413 1883 2354 Friday 1352 1695 2119 Saturday 1554 2072 2589 Sunday 1413 1883 2354

 

I think I might start aiming for more like this, varying my intake a bit.

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20 grams breakfast

8 grams yogurt

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All of my whining and moaning about the scale is retracted.  I love the scale today!  Today it showed me at 179.6!!!!  I am continually surprised that no matter how frustrated I get or whether I feel like my weight loss is too slow, when I actually look backwards, I realize that I am losing 2 pounds a week, regularly.  Exactly what I should be losing and want to be losing!!!

It is interesting that today was the first day the scale showed 179, and I looked back to see that EXACTLY 3 weeks ago was the first day the scale showed 185.  Six pounds in three weeks!  Perfect!  I just have to keep doing what I'm doing, which is totally doable.

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Ok, so I've totally forgotten that whole not getting on the scale goal thing.  It's just not for me.  I just have to keep telling myself that I'm only allowed to weight myself every day if I don't let the fluctuations bother me.   I'm going nuts though because I've gotten soooo close to the 170s, as low as 180.4 on saturday and today i was back up to 181.8, which I know is really not that large of a fluctuation and I know is normal for me.  If I look at my weight chart I quite commonly weigh more on Monday than I did on Friday, for example, but over the course of the week I will end up lower than I started the week before.  So I just have to hold on.  I really think it's possible that I might see the 170s by the end of this week, but it just sucks!! 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! !!

oK, THAT HELPS.  Everyone always tells you these are normal fluctuations and I know that I'm losing weight at a healthy but steady rate.  I know all these things but none of it matters because I want to see the 170s!!!! 

I know all you calorie counters will understand the blood, sweat (lots of sweat) and tears that goes into making these strides.  I know my body is improving and I'm getting healthier.  Yes, that is the most important thing blah blah blah.  NO but seriously scale.  We will have a rumble if I do not see that second number be a 7 pretty soon. 

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I'm trying not to obsess about reaching certain numbers on certain days anymore because that just seems to result in frustration and disappointment.  I am so close to the 170s and I'm frustrated that I didn't get into the 170s by the end of March, since I got into the 180s by Feb. 29. 

Ok, so goals.  First, I'd like to get up to 6 miles straight running by the end of April.  I've done 4, but had to take some time off this last week so yesterday 3 was tough.  Ok, so up to 6 without hurting my shins.  I'm going to increase by .5 miles per week.

Also, I'd like to plan to do weight training on my own one time per week.  Once I finish Kinesis I will add another session. 

I'm going to run my first 5k race on April 19 in less than 45 minutes.

I'd like to stop obsessing about my progress and focus on more healthy goals.  We'll see how that goes.

Still and all, I am in a much better place now than when I started in January and if I keep it up I will reach my goals.

When I do get into the 170s I'm going to get my hair cut and colored, even if I'm low on cash.

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Last week I changed my goals listing from dated to undated, meaning I am not pushing myself to meet certain weight goals by certain days.  It seemed I was only setting myself up to fail and to feel disappointed if I didn't meet them.  Even though I've embraced the idea that this is for the long haul and I will not do anything unhealthy to make pounds come off faster than my body wants to lose them, I still was trying to live by the arbitrary schedule.  So no more.  I hope this helps me to be more relaxed about the process.  Also, I am really trying not to weigh myself as frequently.  I realized this weekend that my fear is somehow that if I don't weigh myself I will gain weight.  As if my lack of vigilance was the reason I gained so much weight over the past few years, and not my willingness to eat everything in sight.  I suppose it had something to do with it, but was certainly not the cause.

So, if I only weigh myself once a week, I will not gain weight simply by not being on the scale every day.  I guess I'll just keep telling myself this until my weird head believes it. 

I'm feeling bloated and I know that TTOM is imminent.  So I hereby commit to not weighing myself until one day after my period is done.  I know that the water weight will just make me crazy.  Done.

Another goal for the week is to run 4.5 miles straight, and a total of 8.5 miles.  Up from 7 last week.

Ran one mile this morning during PT.  Then 4.5 on Thursday, and 3 on Saturday.

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Today is such a banner day!  First, I managed to run 4 miles, my longest run yet since starting this process in January.  I did 8 minutes running with about 1.5 minutes walking breaks alternating. 

New best 5K time:  45:42

My 4 mile time:  58:40

Woo!  The best part was that even though my heart rate was quite high, I didn't feel like I was going to die.  I actually enjoyed myself.

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About 843 calories.  Worked out on elliptical and treadmill for an hour plus one hour pilates private lesson

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Deficit = 753 calories.  Ran 5k at 49:45 plus walked for additional ten minutes, abs for additional 10 minutes

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