missmontana's Journal

Skinny latte, pretzels, 1/2 oatmeal cookie, pancakes, frozen yogurt with fruit = 1300 calories

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Had a photo shoot in San Francisco at golden gate park today. Slimfast, latte, capalini pmomdoro = 650 calories PS you were all supportive and very helpful the other day revolving my work situation :) love you all, thank you!

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Seriously, fuck my life. I thought things were getting better. I was starting to feel better about my diet, starting to feel better since breaking up with Zach and everything...until at work today my boss comes in out of the blue...trust me, totally out of the blue, and let's me know that its my last day at the office, the owner has cut my position. I have no full time fucking job now. Fired, finished, laid off...call it what you will, I have no real job. FUCK So I came home and ate a pint of ben and jerrys and drank a bottle of wine (which might explain the language...my bad). So I'm not logging exact intake, I consumed around maintenance today. I just have to try and stay positive and think that God has something better right around the corner for me right!? So until I find that something...that next job...I'll either have a lot of time on my hands to workout a ton, or sit on my ass and eat a ton...pretty sure I'll be spending most of my time at the gym...wish me luck.

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Home made smoothie, slimfast, dried fruit, spaghetti and bread = 1000 calories

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So after about two weeks of battling the binge I weighed in. I was so scared to see the numbers on the scale...but to my surprise, I'm only about 2.5 pounds up from my recent low weight (I was about 122 today)...what a relief! I feel much more relaxed about everything now :) and I finally feel more in control of my diet...I may have beat the binge cycle?! Its a strange feeling of freedom in a sense. I've been wearing a waist trimming belt during workouts and to bed at night. Although my waist is 25 inches, I don't have a defined looking waist. I'm all legs and only have a couple inches between my bottom rib and the top of my hip bone :( but I think this belt is helping, I can see a little bit more definition on my waist. I got a good couple hours of cardio and core in today. I'll log my intake for today later on: Shake, chicken taco = 1000 calories

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I got a good amount of cardio and abs in this morning before work...which was quite a challenge because I prefer evening workouts, I'm much more focused then and it's soooo hard for me to get out of bed and jump right into workout mode...but since I knew I wouldn't have time tonight I did it anyway ** pat on the back**

I took myself off the schedule at work tomorrow since I'm modeling a tequila promo from 5:30-8:30 pm.  It's about an hour away, and after prep and everything I just wouldn't have been able to get off work in time.  So I plan to hit the gym pretty hard for a couple hours, then head to my moms to visit her and my baby sis before another model and I head to our call time for prep.  Should be fun...and I'm looking forward to the day off of real work :)

Today's intake:

blueberry herbal tea (sooooo good, tastes like a blueberry muffin!), slimfast, apple cinnamon herbal tea, vegetable juice = 300 calories (please...no criticism)

 

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Cereal, grapes, slimfast, sf ice cream, sweet potatoes, donut = 1700 calories

I know, I know...I had freakin ice cream and a donut in the same day...but I least I didn't eat several of each...better (more disciplined) days ahead.

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I am way too embarrassed to log everything I ate on Saturday...To be vague I ate thousands of calories in pastries, cookies, candy bars (yes plural), PB, gardettos.....DISGUSTING>>>>>I am a big FAT FAILURE!  I ate relatively healthy yesterday though....although I was far under my intake, I just couldn't stomach even the thought of food!  I don't know how this happened...how my relationship with food has gotten so completely out of control!? 

Back on track today though.  I just need a plan, and a centered/focused, un-obsessed state of mind.  I'm eating 1200 calories a day, with one indulgence  snack every other day, 2-2.5 hours of resistance training and cardio every single day.  My plan is to stay even busier than normal for the next couple weeks so I don't lose control and eat everything in sight.  Then I will fast on October 24th, 25th, and 26th.  After the 26th I plan to increase my intake a little bit.

I'll log my intake for today later on...

 

 

 

Oatmeal, apple, slimfast, kashi roll, califlower, sweet potatoes, cookies and sf icecream = 1600 cals

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B - banana

L - slimfast, granola bar

S - blueberries, grapes

S - bran cereal, almondmilk

D - chips and salsa, small veggie burrito

Total calories=1500

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10.08.09

Today was a success! I know once I put my mind to it, I can accomplish my goals. Although I kinda caved and ate a little cookie dough, at least I didn't eat it all...afterall, moderation's the name of the game.

Today's intake:

B - fruit

L - veggie juice

S - apple

S - cookiedough

D - pumpkinbread

S - yogurt, ricecake

Total calories = 1200

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