mommakitty's Journal

This is brutal
Oct 24 2008 14:54

October 2nd is the last update to my weight loss.  That is 22 days.  Twenty-two LONG days.  I've tried the zig-zagging.  No success (slight gain one day, then lost it the next, but no extra.  I did this for a week.  I went on a maintenance vacation for a week.  I didn't gain (that's good), but also no loss.  I upped my fiber (the people at Fiber One should love me), but still no loss (also no gain).  I read in an answer to someones post that maybe they wern't getting enough good fats (like olive oil, etc), so I'm going to try that now.  The impression that I got with that answer is that for a machine to run smoothly, you have to keep it well lubricated.  Hmm. (please laugh with me, this is terrible!)  Besides being way out of my income level, I will purchase the olive oil and sacrifice something non-essential, like BU food.  (I would never do that; those of you who know me, know she is my baby).  I searched the internet and found coupons that I have printed off for outrageously expensive olive oils.  I don't know how much more fiber I can add to my very high fiber diet.  Tonight I'm having wild rice and corn with a salad.  I have oatmeal 5 out of 7 days a week, and add a chopped up caramel Fiber One bar to it.  That replaces the brown sugar craving, and adds more texture.  I average 60 grams of fiber a day and should be single handedly supporting the makers of Charmin, but I'm not.  *

I guess I'm at a loss for what to do next.  Patience, I tell myself.  It will happen.  I know that this is a small issue compared to some of my friends' problems here at CC, and I don't mean to whine.     

* I will not try castor oil or fish oil--don't even suggest it.   Blessings to you all.  I know I am blessed by my friendships here and outside of the CC world.  ~Tonnie

Needs encouragement, please cheer me up!
Oct 21 2008 13:32

I've been quiet about posting in my Journal.  Hopefully I've kept up with all of yours.  This is day 22 at the same weight.  (156.8)  I know to be patient.  I know it will happen.  I want it now and every morning the scale doesn't move is another "oh well, be patient, Tonnie".  I was concerned that the scale was broken, but I picked up BU and reweighed.  I found out that she weighs 10.2 lbs.  No broken scale.  I tried zig-zagging my calories for a week.  No change there either.  Don't yell at me, but today I'm taking a maintencnce vacation.  I have some things that I've made in the freezer, so I ate them .  All of it was high-fiber things with recipe experiments so I don't feel bad at all about eating them.  I have logged those calories, and I'm at 1092 cals so far.  I limit myself to 1200 +/- a day.  Yesterday I had a 16 oz of wine.  I logged that too.  When I did the analysis at the end of the day, I still got an A- for a grade, and the pie chart didn't show any alcohol.  What's up with that?  I had expected my grade to drop to a C, but it didn't.  I was over on my calories by about 300, and I still didn't budge weight wise.  

This has happened to me before.  Once 25 years ago that I went for 3 weeks, and once a hundred years ago when I was 17.  I wish I could remember what I did to jump start the weight loss again.  I feel smaller.  I'm not retaining water.  I'm drinking my fluids (ya, last night was 16 oz of wine :o/)  I have purposely walked to the store, or to the bus for the exercise.  I just don't know what else to do.  I think I'll go have an apple for a snack (like I need another snack!)  I wish I had some ff popcorn.  I'm not really in the munchie mode as I've been eating all day.  I need a project to distract me.  Let's see, I've got 4 or 5 going right now that are unfinished.  Maybe I should pick one and get it finished.  Maybe I should just make some ME time.  C--p!  That's all I have is ME time. 

This is going no where.  I need a job.  I need a life!  I need kids to herd like you Nicole, or doggies to love like you Jamie.  I have BU--she's busily holding down her favorite spot on the floor by my feet!  I wonder if this is where MTOM would have come into effect if I hadn't had a hystorectomy in May, except I hadn't had a MTOM for almost 10 years previous to the hysto.                   

My better
Oct 17 2008 18:52

Today was much better than yesterday.  I think I figured out why.  I was out of veggies to munch on and it was really grueling.  Am I addicted to carrots, celery and cucumbers now?  I walked to the store to get some.  I had to cash in some of my roommates beer cans (worth .05 in Oregon) to buy some.  His can stash had blown over and there were dozens of cans littering the back yard.  I picked those up, claiming them for myself.  He couldn't bother to pick them up--fair game in my books.  Then I walked the 2 miles round trip just to buy a bag of carrots and one cucumber.  :o/ .  I think the walk did me some good.   Fresh air, sunshine and whatever else walking promotes (today it was mental health!).  We've got company coming tomorrow.  His roommates) parents are "popping" in.  I had cleaned the house and asked myself why I was doing this.  They're not my folks.  Vacuuming, dusting, through scrub of the stove top, sweep and mop.  He still sleeps in the livingroom so I had to move all his bedding into his bedroom so I could clean.  I gathered it up in a wad and tossed it into the BR.   If he doesn't like it, too bad. 

Someone had started a post about "the worst roommates you ever had" or something like that.  I read everyones comments, then added my own.  I had a mouthful to contribute, and I don't think I even covered the "finer" points of living with Norm.

One good thing about this visit from Momma and Pops is they don't stay long.  I like their dog "Red".  She's an Irish setter mix and her and BU get along so good together.  I even have a milk bone for Red!  I love doggies too!  I guess this anticipated visit got me down yesterday.  Even though it's Friday night, and they're not here yet, I know that in 24 hours they will be gone.  On their way to Phoenix for the winter.  They're called Snow Birds around here.  But their health demands to be in more heat than the Pacific Northwest provides until Spring.

Today is my Dad's 80th birthday.  I called him first thing this morning.  He was telling me all about putting down a brand new floor for my Mom this past week.  I hope I'm still as active as him when I get to be 80.  He's always been a go-go-go person, never without some project.  He says it keeps him young, but I also think it keeps him out of the bars!.  That's a family joke; Dad never did go out without Mom.  They were going out for lunch at the "Longbranch Saloon" (really, it's name!), and Mom was looking forward to B & G for brunch, then going home to make a Lemon Meringue Pie for Dad's birthday (his request).

I hope everyone has a great weekend!  Other than Church, I don't have any plans.  Sometimes not having a car makes life boring.  I don't want to hear about how lucky I am not having one with the price of gas.  Imagine yourself with out some wheels.   I think I'll go get my dessert now and read in my Bible for a while.  I need some God time tonight.  Gods blessings to you all.  ~Tonnie

I should be happy
Oct 16 2008 12:53

I haven't gained or lost in two weeks.  I try to write replies of encouragement to people all the time.  Now I just need to remember those words that I have written and apply them to myself.  I will snap out of it.  I have to.  I've suggested to people to go try on their old small clothes and see if they are fitting better.   I guess I better take my own advise.  I know my undergarments are getting way too big.  I had to hitch up my bras as far as they would go :o).  I can wear a size 6 panty that I bought by accident 2 years ago.  That really made me feel good.  I don't think I need Q-sized panty hose anymore!! Woo Hoo!  I just don't know why I feel "off" today.  If I had someone around here to ask, I'd ask them to slap my face and tell me to get with it!  Remind me that I'm on the program with my dieting; it's second nature now, and I don't have to "wonder" if it's okay to eat something.  I know how to create my own foods and most of the time can adapt some of my favorite things into "Tonnie friendly" foods.  This plateau is just my body's way of getting even with my brain for denying those mindless calories that got me fat in the first place.  

I stepped away from the computer for a few minutes to regroup.  I found a pair of pants that needed to be restyled so I did that.  That always makes me feel better.  This was a pathetic pitty party, and you don't deserve to hear that rant.   I know I have your continued support.  CC is a good place to be, especially on days like this.  ~Tonnie 

Fiber One Waffles?
Oct 11 2008 15:37

Today was kitchen food experiment day.  Yesterday someone had mentioned Fiber One Waffles from a mix.  I don't have that animal yet, but I did have a package of F1 Premium Muffin Mix, apple cinnamon flavored.  I didn't want muffins, I wanted waffles!  I mixed them up, fired up the waffle iron and made the waffles following the directions for the muffins.  It said it should yield 12, using 1/4 cup batter per muffin, so I spooned 1/4 cup batter for each waffle.  So far so good.  They smell incredible right now.  I got 12 waffles, but the calorie count is sort of high.  190 per 4 inch waffle.  I want to eat 4 or 5 , but I'll have to use restraint and only eat one for breakfast, maybe two, and of course planning for the rest of my day to not have any extras so I don't exceed my calories.  I hope they taste as good tomorrow morning as they smell right now.  We'll see.

I have a bunch of apples to use that my friend Karen gave me.  I'm not sure what they are, but they're tart.  I tried very hard to find a way to make an apple pie with reduced calories.  No such luck.  I'm sure there's a recipe, but I didn't feel like experimenting with the recipe analizer today.  But I did find a recipe on QuakerOats.com for apple-cranberry crisp.  No sugar, just sugar substitute.  It made a 8 x 8 inch pan FULL of crisp, making 6 servings at 159 cals per serving.   I had one serving for my snack and it was just about as good as can be expected for no brown sugar and a limited amount of margarine for the crumble topping.  I did find, that I needed to mix it all up after it had baked because the topping was really dry and the fruit part was almost soupy.  If I make it again, I will mix it all together to begin with.  I think I'm all set for the next week for breakfast!  I am going to freeze the waffles when they're cool.  I found out the hard way that they become a soild brick if you don't let them completely cool.    That's it for me and Betty Crocker today.  It's time to get ready for church.   I've got spaghetti, sauce and shrimp warming on the stove top (all from the freezer), so fixing dinner is done and will be ready when I get back from church.  Don't worry, I'll turn off the burner when I'm done with this journal post.  God bless you all!  ~Tonnie   Oh, BU was sick last night.  I think she ate a pine needle, because that's what I found.  She's okay today, but I feel so bad when an animal has a tummy ache!

Prevention Magazine Weight Tracker
Oct 10 2008 19:38

No, I'm not a CC traitor.  But I did visit Prevention Magazine's web page.  They have a system similar, but so very different than here at my beloved (ahh's and ooh's here!) CC.  I tried logging foods that I normally eat and it seemed like it took me forever just to figure out how to log 3 items.  Oatmeal, Reduced calorie bread and milk.  I finally got it figured out how to do it, but it seems like you have to go through the whole selection of items (50 or more, with milk having over 200 options because they were including anything that had the word "milk" in it.  I got tired of that boloney (that probably had several hundred options too), so I went to other places, such as determining you BMI.  They told me my BMI was 25.18.  That sounds about right.  CC catagorizes me as "slightly" over weight, where as Prevention just says I'm over weight :o( .  My healthy weight range is an unbelieveable 114.66 lbs up to 154.89 lbs.  Either I'm within 2 lbs of "being there", or I've still got a LONG way to go. 

I would imagine that with a lot of practicing me and Christopher Columbus could learn to navigate that site.  When I made a mistake it was a 3 step process to delete the boo-boo.  I think I'll stay here at CC, where I started (don't worry, there was never any concern for me leaving--I enjoy my friends too much) and continuing reading their newsletter, because I do learn from that, but as far as me and ol' Chris are concerned, we've got our home here.  Love you all ~Tonnie

It's a medium!
Oct 08 2008 06:58

I was trying on shirts last night that are just on the brink of being wearable without being obvious that they're still a bit small.  The one I'm wearing in my updated profile picture is a Medium.  Fits great everywhere but the bottom button.  I could have buttoned it, but then it would look too small, with gap-osis.  I suppose I could wear it now tucked in, but I've never been too comfortable with that look on me.  I'll get there, but I'd rather the shirt fit the way it's supposed to no matter how I wear it.

I made waffles this morning.  I followed the directions to the T.  The box says you're supposed to get 6-7 pancakes or waffles using 1/4 cup batter for each.  I carefully measured and only got 5 waffles!  Why is this?  Must be that kitchen witch coming around to mess with me .  So, I cut one in half and had two and 1/2 waffles for breakfast at 200 calories, as per the nutrition label on the box.  It doesn't take much to amuse me, does it?

It's cold this morning!  Right now it's 27 degrees.  The weather man said we're supposed to get 2-3 days of below average temperatures.  I'm not liking that at all.  I don't think BU likes it much either because she was my little snuggle-bunny and didn't get up until I did at 5:00 this morning.  That was very nice for a change.  Her clock is usually set between 3:30 and 4 a.m.

This is the beginning of my roommates days off.  I think I got smart yesterday and made him a pot of goulash, so I didn't wake up to the usual kitchen mess from his cooking adventures.  There's enough there for him to eat for a day or two, but I've noticed that he's not big on leftovers.  If I measure it out for myself 1 cup equals 300 calories.  But I want 2 cups!!  Too bad I guess.  I'll just have to eat very slowly, and probably have a lot of vegetables to satisfy the chewing beast inside.

Have a great day everyone! ~Tonnie

I changed the profile back to what it was, but the Medium shirt is in the Gallery.  I didn't know you could only have 12 pictures in the gallery

New picture. What was it? (check gallery)
Oct 06 2008 18:03

I posted a new picture today.  The new shirt is actually an old set of curtains that I salvaged from a place I lived at about 10 years ago.  I loved the print (I made the curtains then too), and couldn't stand to leave them behind.  They've been traveling around with me, untouched until yesterday. There's a picture of the restyled curtains in the left column, third picture down.

I think I made something so cra==y tonight for dinner, it's embarassing to tell, but it should be done in about 10 minutes.  I will not buy turkey ham from Albertson's again.  I had them slice it 1/8 inch thick so I could count the slices and divide into the total weight of the package.  I tried to feed some to BU and she just looked at me in disgust.  I hold my head in culinary shame tonight.  I'll probably take the rest and grind it up to use in something besides lunch meat.  I'm sticking to my Hillshire Farms lunch meat from now on.

Today was a good day for Mia.  She called me and said that her former boss wanted her back BAD.  Offered her a goodly sum of salary, (I'd kill for it-well not really) and pretty much could run his business how she chose to, whether it's from her home or in the office.  She counter-offered by telling how much she wanted (less than he offered), but she'd have to do it totally from her home so she could still have the day care and home school her children.  She makes her momma proud.

I guess that's all for now.  I'm going to go see what dinner really tastes like.  It was supposed to cool for 20 minutes or so and it's been time by now.  Eat well everyone.  Jamie, I'm hoping you're not getting sick(er).  We just about got Nicole back up and running!, don't want you down too.  BU and I are great!  God Bless you all.

Stress
Oct 03 2008 17:13

I think you all know that I'm on disability (SSD).  Last month my regular health care provider switched me to Medicare.  I knew this was coming as you can only stay on OHP (Oregon Health Plan) for two years.  With this switch came a new expense.  Now I have to pay $93.00 a month.  That is quite a chunk to absorb as I already consider myself the queen of value shopping and frugality (in Oregon Jamie) with the thrift store finds and clothing restyling, couponing, scanning the Sunday grocery adds and plotting out where I will spend my measly pittance that's left over after my bills are paid.  Good thing I'm losing weight because I had to tighten up the belt financially another notch.

Yesterday, I went to my pharmacy to pick up my meds and was told by the pharmacist that I didn't have coverage.   What?? (bleep, bleep).  What am I paying this $93.00 a month for?  Well, no one is in their office to answer my call, leaving a voice mail that she won't be back in her office until Tuesday.  Now I'm stewing, and frustrated because there is nothing I can do until then. 

I checked my checking account balance and my SSD deposit had been made.  $192.00.  I am stunned, because that's $300.00 less than it should have been.  That doesn't even pay my rent.    I emailed Mia (daughter) and she was stunned too.  It's after 6:00 at night and I can't call anyone now to find out anything.  So I did what I know how to do, and I prayed to God for some relief from this constant financial burden that seems to follow me just when I think I got life figured out.

Today my roommate Norm was supposed to go back to work from his days off but instead he called in sick.  Hung over is more like it-oops, did I say that?  I'm feeling pretty stressed by then because of all of this worry about how can I feed my BU and keep a roof over our heads.  Here is where I tend to over react to situations.  I felt a panic attack coming on.  I've taken medication for it before, but that was years ago during a particularly horrible marriage. 

I finally gathered my courage up and made a phone call and for once didn't have to sit on hold for what seems like hours and spoke to a very nice lady that looked at my records and was able to tell me the $192.00 check was reimbursement from the state for the two months that I paid for my medicare.  I should have the full amount in my account today!  Praise God!  I hate to admit it, but I'm in the extremely low income bracket, but this time it finally paid off (if you could consider being poor a good thing).  I don't know what thrilled me the most.  My (I hate admitting this too) food stamps also increased from $41.00 a month to $158.00. 

Mia had been sending me money when she could to help me buy things that FS won't pay for (BU food, toilet paper, you name it.)  Last week she lost her job.  She still was providing daycare and was sending me her babysitting money!  That just broke my heart that she would do that for me. 

We both finished off this week (as tumultuous and stressful as it was) on a good note.  She's got prospects of two really good jobs coming up and should hear about that the beginning of next week.   I get my medical paid for and my huge increase in FS.  I still don't know about my meds, but was told that it sounded like medicare fouled up and didn't do an automatic enrollment for me like was supposed to happen, but I know what to do on Monday to remedy that.

I look back to where I was this morning attitude wise, and remember then that I would have eaten anything if it was there.  I made some zucchini bread, but by the time it was done, my problems had been solved and  my emotional eating urge had passed.  Thank God!  I made 1 loaf for Norm, and the other half of the recipe I made into muffins.  I could count the calories that way.    I was afraid that I would have a heavy hand if I had to slice something, therefore making my share of the goodies portioned out.  (I consider that a loaf of bread has only two slices- the left one and the right one)  Now I can eat guilt free  something yummy because I can plan in advance and know what I'm going to consume.

I must sound like a wind bag tonight.  I am so thankful that there is a happy ending to my story.  Hope you are all fine. eating well, and drinking your water!  I'm looking forward to commenting in your journals again.  I was so down yesterday and this morning I didn't want to write anything if I couldn't write positively.  God Bless! ~Tonnie

Restyled Pillowcase?
Sep 30 2008 07:48

This seemed like it took forever to get this picture posted.  Operator malfunction.  Two days this shirt was a pillowcase.  I had bought it at a thrift store for the fabric.  It was a brand new set, and in leopard print, which I love.  I wanted to use this new pattern, so I don't know if you call it a restyled pillowcase or a new shirt.  Anyhow, whatever you would call it, at least it didn't take a tent to make it with!

It's nice outside right now.   But, by this afternoon we're supposed to get thunder and lightening!  Oh boy.  I can see the clouds starting to form now.  I (me, of all people) don't really have much to say.  I'm going to work on another shirt today.  I haven't decided if I want to restyle one hanging in my closet or make an entirely new one from some of the ones I'm dismantled!  Decisions, decisions.    I did find one hanging in my closet that I forgot that I had.  It's a western type with fringes all over on a V-neck.  The color is coral.  With my ruddy complexion I'm not too sure about even trying.  Maybe I'll wear it around the house today and check it out in the mirror off and on.  I'm more of a Jewel toned type of gal, and softer colors like baby pinks and blues make me gag.  I think coral might fit into that category.

I found more to say than I thought.  Sometimes I think to myself as I write, so I'm just wondering (in written form).  BU wants to be fed.  Kitty's first around here.  ~Tonnie