nicsmilingbig's Journal

Painfully 30+
May 07 2009 07:29

Ok... So I got to the point of having lost 96 pounds... and then we had a short sale on our house, had to move out, had to move in with in-laws for 2.5 months, and had to move into a rental.  For me, it was too much and I turned to food for my comfort... I truly do feel comforted by food, until I try to put on cute clothes.

I Have given away all my "too big" clothes along the way, so I have NOTHING to wear, and don't want to buy anything. So, I go back to that feeling of not wanting to go out or be seen because I have nothing to wear and feel the fat rolls.

Yesterday I was 199.7... YIKES, I knew I was about to go over a very sharp edge... so I tried. Today I am 197.3. So far today (and it's only 7:30, but I do get up at 5:30) I have done well. I am trying to have some sort of control and get thing sback together.

Just thought I'd share.  I hope success is finding YOU and I hope to be catching back up to you soon! =)

Nicole

Body Bugg...and...Thoughts
Sep 25 2008 06:27

I am sooooo incredible excited! My husband has bought me a "Body Bugg" from 24 hour fitness... ya know, the things "The Biggest Loser" contestants use!! I can't wait to have it really show me how many calories MY body is burning in a day... not just estimating based on what other people's body's burn! WooHoo! Can't wait for it to get here!!

Thoughts... I don't know if I want to go all the way down to 155. I'm thinkin I'll be in a range between 165-175... I just feel like I have to be sooooo strict with myself to have loss these days and it's not really all that fun. BUT, I'd like to be wearing 10's and not 12's... so I do want to lose some more. We'll see... especially with the Body Bugg coming, I'm sure that will nudge me towards more loss!  I just don't want to feel like I have to be a drill srgt with myself!

My 3 yr old just woke up... gotta go. =)

93 POUNDS LOST!!!
Aug 24 2008 21:44

Who knew... back when I started losing weight, and I saw girls who were in their 170's... THAT I WOULD GET THERE!!!  This morning my weight was 172.4... I am so close to being in the 160's it JUST ISN"T FUNNY! lol

I am so excited for the healthier life that I have now started and have really learned to live out.  I've been at my parent's house for two weeks, away from my safe seclusion of home where only MY foods exsist (poor husband...lol)... BUT, The first week here, I lost 4 POUNDS!...second week here I lost 1.7 pounds... now I'm on my third week. 172.4 needs to become 169.9 by next Sunday (one full week)...to hit my goal. I was 178 the last time my husband saw me and it would be REALLY fun to tell him I'm in the 160's when he gets here. When we got married, I was 192... it is awesome being 20 pounds lighter than the day he said he'd love and cherish me forever... I'm making it EASY! LOLOL

I never knew I had it in me to really make this big of a change and really change the course of the rest of my kid's lives and the health of my family. I am so excited to be a good mom in this area of my life... don't ask me about others! LOL... My 3 year old stops everything sometimes and starts doing squats and says, "Wait, I need to do my exercises"... I LOVE IT!  When I push them in the swing, I do squats or lunges with each push and just random times... even when pushing the grocery cart... I know, call my a nerd but those quads really burn calories! LOL

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to all you girls who have been there encouraging me along the way. I am so thankful for the support I have gotten and they "Hey sexy mama" comments I've received! ha ha ha...

OH... one funny thing... the other night, before I went on this trip, I left the kids home wtih my husband and went to the grocery store real quick.  I had forgotten to put my wedding rings on and I didn't have any kids, it was late at night... I GOT HIT ON.  It was hilarious to me because it didn't even dawn on me what was happening.  This guy totally starts talking to me about loving fresh foods and asking me all about what I like to cook with them... all the while, looking deep into my eyes kinda thing. I almost started laughing in his face because it all hit me, "DANG, PEOPLE WANT TO HIT ON ME NOW!!!!"  So, I made some comment about my husband and I liking our sons to eat fresh foods and smiled and said, 'Have a great night."  IT IS FUN seeing the eyes of a guy looking at me and remembering WAY back in the day when that used to happen a lot.  I'm married and I absolutely LOVE man, but WOOHOO to being hot enough to get hit on!!! ha ha ha

Goodnight. =)

Melting Pot HERE I COME!
Aug 07 2008 18:07

Ok... I have always wanted to go to The Melting Pot restaraunt.  I love fondue cheese stuff and CHOCOLATE fondue is soooo good!  So, when I was 265, I gave myself the goal of "When I get below 200, I can go to The Melting Pot"..... Well, that came and went and at first I was scared to go because I didn't want to go back over 200, then I didn't want to get above 195, then 190 and on and on.  Well, now I have a friend who said that as soon as she got under 195, we'd go!  I am 178 and she is 196... I'm leaving on a trip for a week or two, so when I get back MELTING POT HERE I COME!  It's hard letting myself enjoy totally pigging out because I want to continue to see my weight go down, and I work so hard for every pound these days... but, I've decided it is finally worth it!  I might just go and get ALL dessert! LOL  (I would get SO SICK! lol, but it might just be worth it to get this out of my system!)

Fun things

I HAVE LOST 85 POUNDS!!!
Jul 31 2008 08:59

I just have to say I am very thankful for my weight loss so far.  I am shocked at how well I have done and I am blessed to have gone passed the lie that my family just has "fat genes."  I do believe my body WANTS to be fat because of my genes... but I am able to maintain health with my actions and self control.

THIS IS EXCITING!!!

When I see.... well, fat girls, walking around, I still identify with them in my head and I just feel bad for what I KNOW they are feeling about themselves.  I wish I could help everyone to feel how I do now, knowing how they feel.

I'm wearing size 12 pants and M/L shirts... My bra has gone down from a 44DDD to a 36DD... still too big in the cup size for me, but I'm hoping they will go down to atleast a 36D.  It is so weird being able to shop at any store now and it almost feels sad that I can't shop at Lane Bryant and the "Plus size" sections of stores.  It's weird because I LOVE fitting in to things, but it was almost my "comfort zone" being in the fat stuff.

Anyway... I'm going through some mental stuff in trying to get myself to see myself as a healthy looking person.  I still weigh 178, so I sitll have 23 pounds left to lose... but I'm so much better than I was at 265!!! (which means I've actually lost 87 pounds!)

Ok, enough... just freakin out a bit! lol

182.8!!!
Jul 17 2008 08:24

I just have to say that I am very excited to see that number. =) I was 183 for a long time and then my stupid weight went up to 184.7 yesterday... but 182.8 this morning!!!  I can't wait to be in the 170's!! I don't feel like 170 something sounds all that fat... especially when I used to be 265! lol

I'm looking forward to more weight loss... this past week was a 3.3lb loss and THAT was exciting because it seems to be going SLOW nowadays!

Good luck to you all!

189.3
Jun 14 2008 06:27

I am thankful to be back in the 180's! =) I am standing right in the middle of the scale, WITH some clothes on and get 189.3!  I can get it to say 185 again if I get naked and stand off to the side! lol... But, I'll stick to the way I don't have to create a balancing act to weigh! What a dork I am! lol

191 Again
Jun 13 2008 19:22

Ok... so I started working 2 weeks ago... from home, on the phone at my computer the whole time.  I work about 6-8 hours a day while maintaining my boys too (1yr old and 3yr old)... I've been waking up at 5:30am for work.

I'M TIRED! lol

So, being tired, I crave sweets and bread and I have indulged a bit more than I should.

Today, I feel better, but I have lost it a couple of times... bites here, tastes there... a trip to Costco and some Pita Chip samples later! (If you haven't had those, just don't try them because they will haunt you forever they are so good!).

So anyway... this is my confessional and I'm trying to get back in the swing of things.  I actually saw 185 on the scale at one point, but I have to also confess that I noticed I started to stand off to the sides on the scale to try to get the number I wanted instead of what I truly was... Sooo, I think my actual lowest was more like 190 and I'm 191 standing RIGHT on the scale now. =) (If I stand off to the side now, I can see 185 again... so atleast I know I didn't put on too much... I just have to stand right on the darn scale!)

Ok, Done, Confessed... moving on to real weight loss again. =)

=) Nic

29 to go sounds so much better than 30
May 29 2008 12:47

Ok... so I'm down to 184.4... That means I have 29 pounds left to lose.  For some reason, that feels so much better than 30 pounds! =)

I guess that's all I have to say.  ha ha ha... I'm very tired today, which is making me want to order pizza for dinner tonight... but, I'm going to go cook this "Turkey Taco Meatloaf" from the Hungry Girl recipe book... this stuff is soooo good! =)

Adios!

Losing Fast V.S. Slow (+50 Pounds Lost since 1/23)
May 26 2008 05:59

Ok... so I have been seriously trying to lose weight since 1/23... that is now 4 months.  I am sitting here thinking about how discouraged I have gotten during the week before my period when I don't lose much if anything and a couple of times I have gone up a pound.  But, then the week after my period is priceless and I drop some serious poundage... I'm considering how easy it is to get discouraged if I forget to keep sight of the big picture.  Since 1/23, I have officially lost 50 pounds as of today!  I was 236 on 1/23 and I'm 186 on 5/26... That is just amazing.  That puts my total since 5/7/07 (when I had my son) weight loss up to 79 pounds.  My "best weight" is only 31 pounds away.

Sooo... when you have your "crap week" whenever that might be for you, just remember to keep sight of the big picture! If you lose sight, you will lose your true focus and you'll eat bad and put on weight during those hard times... but just keep pluggin along through the slow weight loss and you'll love yourself for it when the pounds start falling off again!

So, HoooRay for me... 50 pounds down in 4 months... WOW!  Wow!