odie03's Journal

back on track

Nov 07 2009 07:38

Well I've really been doing pretty good for about 2 weeks now but told myself I wasn't going to report anything until my scale moves. Halloween week I ate so good, but of course the weekend was blown due to my birthday & Halloween. And I expected that so I kind of just broke even. This past week I was sick and din't get to the gym much but did keep my cals in check. I think I'm down 3 lbs right now. So for those who have been asking, I'm atleast headed in the right direction.

As for the depression, I still NEED a job but had some medical issues taken care of this week that are going to make weight loss a whole lot easier. So I'm def feeling positive about that. So we'll see, I'm getting really pumped about a visit to my hometown in 4 weeks. I will get to see friends that I have not seen in 20 years. Having a deadline or a reason usually helps me to stay much more focused. Fingers are crossed. Considering I only want to drop 5 for now I don't think it's at all unrealistic!!

I'd like to be down 5 by Thanksgiving and 10 by Christmas. :)

update

Oct 09 2009 19:35

These things are never fun to write when you have nothing positive to say but it's my thoughts regardless .... good, bad and ugly!!

So, lets see .... since my last entry, (like over 6 months ago), I've moved, given up a job & friends that I loved and have began trying to focus on a new life, a new city and helping my children to readapt. And let's just say it's not been easy. My once 114 slim/fit figure it back up to a whopping 125, (that's alot on a small 5'2" frame and more than I've weighed since post pregnancy.)

SOOO, we came here in June and I tried like heck to be positive and convince myself this was going to be the move that didn't depress me. I took the kids everywhere, including frequent beach trips and even invested in some fun outdoor activites that we could all enjoy together. But within no time at all it became very clear to me that I wasn't going to be happy no matter how hard I pretended that everything was going to be okay. Within just weeks my phone stopped ringing and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't just pick up the phone anymore and call a friend to meet me for lunch, a walk in the park, much less a playdate with another parent & kid.

Finally in mid August I saw a Dr and got back on antidepressants. It was so bad that I had finally reached a point of where I was no longer "living" life but just going through the motions. Since my work outs have always kept me sane, happy & fit I joined a gym but before long I couldn't find the energy to even drive there much less perform. In no time at all the gym lost it's appeal and I was back to square one..... sitting inside the house all day with the kids fighting & destroying the house. And as much as I cared I couldn't find an ounce of energy to discipline much less clean behind them. A month after being on the med's I couldn't tell that anything was getting any better and up'ed my dosage.

Oct 1st rolled around, again trying to convince myself... "this is your fave month of the year, it's your Bday month & fave holiday!!!" I had managed to get the kids in school, started working out again, things were finally feeling a little better... or are they? I guess for the most part things are getting better. I'm certainly functioning better than I did in both July & Aug, but as for great... I'm just not there yet. Each day is a mystery to me. I wake up everyday telling myself "today is going to be a fabulous day." Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. I still struggle with depression and currently looking for work in hope that making new friends will rid me of this emptiness I feel. My kids & husband are so amazing, they do make me happy. I guess it's just not enough when you've always had outside ppl and forces.

SOOO NOW, It's darn near mid Oct, (my fave month & fave holiday), and I'm still working out faithfully. I haven't lost a lb, found a job, and at times still feel depressed. I've NEVER been in a funk this long that I can't seem to shake. Most ppl who know me will tell you I'm extremly upbeat. I just hope that I can find the answers sooner rather than later. And of course for me, I've never been able to lose weight while depressed so with happiness I think & hope the weight will just fall into place.

Just felt like venting, I guess. Hopfully next time I write it's on a much lighter note.

Best wishes to all in your dieting sucess,

Luv, Jo

Winter blues ...

Jan 19 2009 20:54

Well so much for not letting Winter get the best of me. I'm completely depressed and back to square one. I've gained everything I lost and then some. I'm so unhappy!! I just don't know...

That's all I can report 4 now!!!

SOOOO UNHAPPY!!! :(

getting back...

Oct 07 2008 21:35

Well I must say I am lucky and haven't had much time for this website in quite a while. I do remember the whole 'gotta lose 5 lbs before vacation' thing and I was lucky enough to keep that off this Summer due to an extremly active/busy job. I work at a golf course and although I was squeezing in work outs when and where I could I kind of left the cardio aside considering my job involves 5-10 hours of non stop walking/running. Again, lucky for me, I actually lost weight.

So, here I am again at 114 lbs and just looking to build muscle. I have spent enough years foolishly thinking it's all about weight loss whereas now I am just now realizing that weight loss made me nothing but flabby and unhappy with this 114 frame I now have.

SOOO, Ultimate goal here- build muscle. I would 'kind of' still like to shed an extra 4 lbs but that is obviously just me looking in the mirror and realizing that my bod looked so much better before I started dieitng. So, it's off to work I go. Hard core work outs, healthy eating, extensive training, ... oh my, what I will look like in one yr with this attitude. Lol.

I will try to post current pics soon. Haven't done that in several months. One thing I can promise is that this Winter will NOT get the best of me!!! Lol!!!

I Luv Fitness!!!!

dammit beer

Jul 12 2008 02:44

Certainly didn't think I'd have anything to report this soon, other than a loss.

July 4th holidays did a number on me and my weight. I have to admit I was not doing my best to watch FOOD OR DRINK, so I am officaially reporting a 2 lb gain- DAMMIT!

just because..

Jul 03 2008 19:07

Well I haven't posted anything in almost a month so I just thought it was time. IDK. Nothing big to report. I'm stuck at 116 right now, my fault, because of the new bartending job and extra alcohol that's now in the picture.

So, for the last few days I have eaten 1200 cals with NOOO problem. Very proud of that. I used to feel so hungry on those cals. I plan to have drinks and good food tom. for the 4th of July, so that will be my "calorie staggering" day.

Looking to get down to 113-114 now so that on a good day or week everything still fits great. I think I am happiest at 115, but we'll see. Once again, hard at it, dedicated and on a mission. :)

Hope to report something exciting in a few weeks.

I'm back

Jun 04 2008 14:15

Well I did okay on vacation for the most part. I worked out when I could, ate the best I could under the circumstances....etc. I gained a lb back but I'm fine with it. Back on track and looking forward to pretty much mantaining and/or losing 2-4 more at a 1/2 lb per week rate. (very slow.) In addition to exercise. I feel great, my clothes fit great. I'm perfectly happy for once. Love, love this website and all my new friends. Looking forward to staying on it and perhaps focus on the fitness aspect a lil more.

I did it!

May 23 2008 00:23

I am so exhausted from the effort, work outs, etc but I did what I set out to accomplish and lost 5 lbs by vacation! Thanks guys you have truly been wonderful!

Now I assume I will be back in the weight loss forums when I get back considering I am sure to gain 1-3 lbs while gone! Wish me luck!

I leave tom!! :) Beach ready or not, here I come!

Almost there

May 16 2008 12:56

So my goal was to drop 5 before vacation. With one week to go and averaging a lb per week I'm proud to report a 3.5 lb loss. Close enough, I'll take it. Lol. Still working my ass off on work outs, etc. would like to drop one more this week. CC has been very helpful. There have been so many frustrating times. When you are this close to your desirable weight you have to eat, sleep and breathe fitness. Rewards are coming. Back into those dreaded clothes. Feel btter, def look better. Overall a very positive experience. Wish me luck guys! I'll have to chime in once or twice on vacation to see if I manage to gain it all back the first day. Lol.

lost a lb

May 03 2008 22:00

Eight days in I am proud to report a lb loss. I miss beer, and pizza, and Mexican. Shall I go on? Lol.

Well I set a goal of 5 lbs in one month expecting to lose 1 per week so since I'm up one I decided to have beer tonight. I'm a light weight now which is great on the cals. LOL.

So thats about it for me. I'll check in again in a week. Hopefully won't be reporting a gain. (Fingers crossed.)