olivia77's Friends

Deep roots are not reached by frost ~ J.R.R. Tolkein

Gelee Blanch (Hoar Frost) ~ Camille Pissaro, 1873 

It's a frosty morning.  The forecast was for show showers, but none so far.  I have the baseboard heat making it toasty warm in here.  I have my hot tea after no sleep to speak of.  It's going to be a long day.

Yesterday was very quiet.  I worked on my insurance project and paid a few bills, visited a neighbor, didn't get the wash done.  I feel I could have been more productive.  There was nothing interesting on TV, so I watched Ruby on the Style Network.  That's going to be an interesting show, I think.  They are doing a good job with exploring the emotional aspects of coming to terms with weight loss. 

Plan for today - It's time for me to arrange my mom's medications for the week, so I'll definitely be going over there.  The pharmacy called to say my order is ready and that's just around the corner from her house.  I use the Savon Pharmacy in the supermarket (Acme - Albertsons) making it easy to pick up groceries in the same trip.  I did some price comparisons for Rx and they are about the cheapest, and I like the service too.  However, their groceries tend to be priced higher.  They cater to the wealthy horse farm folks - you see a lot of BMWs in the lot.  I look for whatever they have on sale. 

Menu for today - breakfast - grits with a little cheese.  Snack - an orange.  Lunch - soup and salad.  Snack - sugar free hot cocoa (made from scratch).  Supper - tuna steak, roasted red potatoes and carrots.  I need a green vegetable too and will work it in somewhere.  Extra snack - apple & cheese.

Over the weekend, I did two 1500 cal days.  Since my sedentary burn is only 1650, and since I was very sedentary, that's close to maintenance.  Yesterday I was at nearly 1500 because I went off my meal plan and ate too much bread and was also very sedentary.  I'm beginning to think the maintenance weekend wasn't such a good idea since I couldn't get right back on track.  Today I've planned it out and hope to actually stick to the plan - about 1350 cal.  Also, I can probably add 100 cal to my burn if I do some extra walking around the market.  I need to stop sitting around like a lump and get moving. 

Today, wake up from hibernation and get out there! 

 PS:  New low on the scale again - 172.8.  I think I can safely log it at 173.  So the Zig Zag worked.  Or at least the Zig worked.  Getting back to the Zag is proving to be hard.

So here's my story.

I'm driving home and I find all these apples all over the backseat of my car (hmm...) I stop on the corner of the 2 major streets in Denver on my way home from school and there is this poor, very sad looking homeless lady with her sign. She comes to my window,

"Do you have a ciggarette I can bum?" I think to myself ugh, you really should be thinking about things other than tobacco products. I look down. *ding lightbulb!*

"Want an apple?"

"uh.. sure!"

I gave this homeless lady a granny smith. :o) I feel much better about that than had I given her a cancer stick!

Anyway. My day has been relatively good while relatively unproductive at the same time. Yawn. What can I say? I went to bed around 12am, woke up around 11pm. YES! Thats productivity right? Sleep? Well I slept through my first class, and I did a short (30 min?) workout after my second class. Then I ate a bunch of chocolate. BOO. Oh well.

I cought myself today doing the "shovel food into mouth" exercise I have been trying to cut back on. I realize that the times I eat the most and feel the least satisfied is when I eat REALLY fast. I am starting to become conscious of it too!!! So I stopped. Slowed down. Calm. Cool. Collected. :o)

Need to get shit done but Jerod asked me to come over and drink Whiskey with him tonight. Shouldn't. But probably will. AH! Ya only live once right?

Weighed at 124 almost 125. EEek. Need to get that DOWN! Not a huge priority though.

XO love ya girllllllies :o)

Well surprise!  It did.  As of noon today they are banning ALL USB devices, thumb drives, external harddrives, everything.  I said "my keyboard and mouse are USB, should I disconnect them too?"  and they're response was "no, they're ok 'for now'".  WHAT?!!  Do they really expect me to WRITE out my 52 page typed document and hand it to someone?  Are you f-ing kidding me right now?!!!!

Anyway.  The weekend was alright, we got lots of stuff done around the house, went to Grandma's (maybe the last time ever because I almost refuse to go if his mother is going to act like that, I can't even get into it right now I'm still so upset about it), cleaned the house, put things away, started a fire finally (in the fireplace for warmth) and relaxed and played Wii.  Overall a very nice weekend minus the trip to grandmas.

Tonight is his mother's b-day so we're all going out to the Japanese Steakhouse place we love so that's good.  We got her a bunch of old dvd's she wanted and that's it, we have nothing creative left for her.  Usually I remember something she wants or needs but won't ask for (or forgets she wants/needs) and it's a nice surprise.  But after all the crap from grandma's, she can't possibly want anything else.

So work is just a huge bitch fest today as you probably guessed.  Oh, and all last week I thought this week was Thanksgiving.  I even had D "rush" my dad's b-day present in the mail to make sure we had it before we left this Wed to head home and come to find out it's NOT this week but next!!  I was CRUSHED yesterday when I figured it out.  So today has officially sucked so far. 

AND people around here refuse to recycle.  He actually had to walk farther and right past the recycle bin to put it in the trash.  I recycled it and got upset and they started making fun of me for it and I just left, icing on the cake to a horrible day.  I just wanted to sit by the water and eat my sandwich for lunch but of course we carpooled today so D has the car, great. 

Sorry for the grumpy mood, hope you're all having better monday's!

OH!!  And I have a cavity!  I'm horrified and scared about getting a filling, I've never had one!  I've had perfect teeth my whole life and now I have TWO cavities and two others they're 'watching'!  I cried in the middle of the dentist's office and bawled in the car. 

The goal of life is living in agreement with nature.  ~ Zeno

Landscape at Cagnes ~ Auguste Renoir (click for larger image)

I didn't do much yesterday.  I worked on my health insurance research and decided that anything requiring referrals is out because they all have a co-payment to get the referral and then another, higher one to see the specialist.  It would add up to more than the premium.  I filled out the paperwork for prescription assistance and also the ones for the electric company.  One is for a budgeted bill based on income, and the other is a medical form to let them know I have a heart monitor that has to be on all the time so the doctor can monitor my defibrillator remotely in case something happens again.  So I made progress.

Bill came over in the afternoon and we talked for 3 hours solid.  Never did watch TV, just conversation.  I told him a little about my CC friends, my art history study, and what I think of things I've been reading.  He told me all about a couple of plays he went to (living in the middle of town it's easy for him to go.) and a few mutual friends.  All in all, we talked more about unrelated stuff than we have in a long time.  No politics for once.  It was too cold and windy to go out.

Plan for today - call Medicare and the insurance broker and try to make a decision.  Do a couple loads of wash.  Call my friend and see if she want's to go to KMart with me.

Menu for today - breakfast - banana mango smoothie with flaxseed meal.  snack - apple.  Lunch - soup and salad. Snack - yogurt.  Supper - salmon salad sandwich with tomato and lettuce.  Extra snack - small oatmeal raisin cookie (183 cal - not bad). 

It's nice having my apartment so neat and clean.  Gale really did a good job Friday.  I like her new assistant too.  Bubba has now batted 3 of the toys she found back under the furniture.  He's been crouching next to the hutch, peering under it, as if he expects it to come out on its own like a real mouse. 

Today we should all make an effort to acclimate to the cold.    It's coming whether we want it or not, so be ready.

Feeling Hmm... just not sure I'm ready for today. It's nothing out of the ordinary. Just feeling out of sorts I guess. I'll blame Monday.

My scale has been gone since Friday weigh in and I'm not stressing about it. I'll pull it out on Friday again.

Food has been good. I did have a bowl of cereal just before bedtime last night but I'm still good for calories. I do need to work on my water though.

Today's Goals:

Clean the rest of the apartment

Take a nap

Workout x2

That is it...not lofty or hugs, but I only had 2 hours of sleep last night, and I am definately in need of a nap. 

I am working on a longer blog for tomorrow, but for now I have to see the ingredients in a few things, and find out why my daughter is covered in hives... 

Quote for the moment:  Oy

Things are almost back to normal. I have one last treatment with uncle, and it will all be over. No more long Mondays, and no more running up and down the road for radiation treatments with my uncle a few days out of the week.

WOW! We made it.

He took his chemo, and it didn't mess with him as much as we thought it would. He did get a little sick there in the middle of it, but he pulled out of it with rainbow colors.

Now! I can get back to me. What a wonderful feeling. I still may have to feed him with the feeding tube, but the rough part of it is all over.

Now, I can get back to my workout and me.

I better get ready cause the new training is no joke. She's all about business.

I should have let Marie train me, but she full now- and I am stuck with a wile beastly woman.

Well, so much for the dissertation. I went to gym TWICE yesterday, because the first time I only had a swim and my mom was going later in the day. Between the two trips I was starving and made this huge and crazy egg-veggie-and-vegetarian-sausage fry-up. Luckily, Z and her sister arrived to drop off Z's bridesmaid dress material, so I fed them and my brother and didn't end up eating 6 eggs. Unluckily, we ended up chatting until the second trip. And after the second trip I was too tired.

I guess I'd better get started. I can't think of anything else that can distract me today - and I'm having supper with a friend tomorrow night so I need to justify it. Actually, that's not a bad plan: make plans with friends, and only allow myself to go if I get a certain number of pages read or typed. Watson, we may be on to something.

In other news:

• I wonder what's happened to my body clock. I nearly fell asleep on the phone to Jon, but then couldn't get to sleep until at 2:30 I gave up and took a sleeping pill. Then today I was singing in the morning service, so I had coffee to wake up. Too many drugs.
• I invited a friend for christmas lunch. I'd better make sure we HAVE it at home this year. I wonder how my mom would react if I invited her family here...
  

The Apple Cake Recipe ~ Jacek Yerka (contemporary Polish Surrealist, 1952 - )

I love today's painting.  Yerka has the kind of imagination we can all relate to.  I came across him on a favorite art website, Old Paint.  Have a look at Yerkaland and be carried away to other worlds.  This was my favorite. 

I stayed in yesterday and baked bread.  I used an old recipe and it turned out great - just dense enough and very easy to slice, with a soft crust, great for sandwiches or toast.  I'm going to slice it thin and freeze it.  I got really tired as the day went on, even after that good sleep.  A nap didn't help much so I changed into my comfy, baggy clothes and watched TV.  Have you ever seen the Graham Norton show on BBC America?  He's crazy!  That will tell you level my mind was on - in need of total entertainment.

Here I am, unable to sleep past 3:30, but maybe able to go back to sleep this morning. 

Bill is coming over today.  I'd like to go out and do something, but don't know what.  Maybe a trip to the mall?  We haven't done that in a long time.  I argued with him on the phone about my choices concerning my health insurance.  He's in favor of my keeping the expensive policy I have now because he worries I might have trouble finding the kind of medical care I need if I go with an cheap HMO.  He's the only person in my life I can argue with and still be ok. 

I hope you're all having a good weekend with lots of fun going on.  Mine sounds kind of dull, but I'm enjoying it.  The sun peeked through a couple of times, just to tease, and it poured during the night.  I hope it's dry and warm where you are. 

Look for unexpected fun today.  Be spontaneous!

I just woke up from my morning nap - 4 hours!  The sun is shining and the sky is a mass of pretty clouds.  The wind is really howling, so I bet it's cold. 

So I went to Fort Collins Thursday night. Got WASTED, made out with John (long story) and had to be in Denver (an hour away!) to work at 10am. Then I worked, and drove BACK to Fort Collins-- went to the bar. Ended up making out with Devin (again, long story) after having ignored him all night long because he took me on a date and never called me. He said he made the effort to take me out and he thought I should be the one to tell him some sort of feedback. Please. Psh!

Anyway, I was ignoring him all night and wearing the HOTTEST outfit. I was wearing dark skinny jeans with my steve madden black kitten heeled boots with a purple strapless super tight top. :o) I looked SEXY!

Needless to say I got blitzed again... my poor diet (and liver). I love being 20 though!

Jerod turned 21 yesterday and I'm going to pick him up from Lodo tonight whenever he calls me. Hopefully its soon.

I had a mini-binge today. Weighed at 126 [:o(] I want to be at 120. I will be once I stop bingeing I think. Its still pretty cool that I eat like 2500 cal a day and only weigh 126. But I wanna cut to like 1500 cal and weigh 120. Otherwise my belly looked very "potbelly-ish". I wish we could decide where our weight went! I would put it all in my butt!

I need to reallllllllly try to enjoy food more. I like LOVE it, but when I binge- I'm definitely not enjoying it. If that makes any sense. hmmm. I need to be productive.

<3 ya girls.

PS- I am hotter than Jerod! Lol jk.