painter09's Journal

New Bet!!
Jan 10 2009 20:09

So even though I ended up not weighing in officially until today, my dad still declared me the winner!!! Since the start of the bet I lost 17.2 pounds, and since my highest weight I have lost 28.2 pounds!! My heighest weight was around 198 and now I weigh 169.8 pounds.

We made a new bet that on March 10th, ( which happens to be my birthday), I need to have lost 15.8 pounds, and weigh 154 pounds. My goal for myself though, is to weigh 150 pounds by then. I don't know what I should get if I win the bet, any suggestions? I also don't know what my goal weight should be, I have thought anything from 118 pounds to 135 pounds, do you guys have any thoughts? By the way I am 5 feet and 2 inches tall.

I hope you guys are good, and want you to know how you help motivate and inspire me!!! I love you guys. :)

binge
Dec 11 2008 19:51

I am so disgusted in my self. I just binged, I almost had 3,500 calories today.In fact as I write this I am eating. I haven't felt this compulsive urge to eat in a long time, and it's concerning me. I have been a vegatarian for like a month, but today I was considering eating meat, and I think it was just so I could have more options to binge on. I hate that I have such an emotional attachment to food, and I think it's rediculous that I was considering stoping being a vegatarian so I could binge more. If I stoped being a vegatarian I don't wnat it to be so I can binge more, and become completley addicted to food again. Today sucked, ugh, I hope this was just a fluke becasue I had a bad day. I hope all of you are well.

....
Nov 26 2008 19:37

Sometimes I wonder if my intensity will ever be matched by anyone else. I always find myself trying to hold back, so they don't know how much I care. It makes me really sad to think about, but it always feels like no matter how much I care about someone else I will, always be dispensiable to them. You know like if I stopped talking to them they would just dissapear out of my life,because they never really cared to begin with, liek they were just being nice or something.I of course would be heart broken, and at best they would be indifferent.So I try to leave them alone to find out, but something stops me, it feels like if I do that I will go crazy,I mean there is only so much I can be alone. It also breaks my heart when I see websites like facebook, any everyone else always has so many wall posts, and they always have all these pictures of them and their friends, having fun. It feels like I'm missing out on my childhood.I mean if pictures of my life were taken most of them would be of me alone. I know it's normal to be alone,sometimes, but I'm alone to often.It also feels like everything I deal with, I have to deal with alone.I was kind of suicidal for awhile there, but I told my friend, I wasn't going to do it. So I would feel guilty about doing it anyways, so I guess I'm not. Sometimes I wish I hadn't told them anything, so I could do it without guilt. So now it feels like I'm going to rot away, or I'm just going to slowly lose my sanity...I don't know life kind of sucks...

:)
Nov 11 2008 22:26

Life is good. :) I think I'm going to be ok. That's all I really have to say.

hair and skin schedule
Nov 08 2008 22:45

I want to remeber it that's why i am writing it here.So first my hair schedule. Every monday and thurday I will condition it. Then For 2 days in a row I will use White rain shampoo, then on the 3rd day I will use dove, then repeate. Now my skin schedule, every monday and thursday I will do a face cleanser, and my eye firming creame. Then every other day I will wash it with a face cleaner- doesn't matter the brand. Then every day I will put on my anti wrinkle and sunblock on in the morning. And I will use my lip scrub depending on need.I know so interesting, it's alot though so thats why I figured I better write it down.

new goal
Nov 08 2008 21:59

So now my weight is 181.2, yay! This means I am going to change my goals, so on the 15th I want to weigh 180. I hope all of you are good. I am so impatient to finally hit my ultimate goal!

confused
Nov 09 2008 09:23

Hey all. So I weighed in today and it said I lost 5.8 pounds! Recently though, I have become a vegetarian, so I don't know if it is fat or muscle that I lost. What do you guys think? I want to hear how you guys are doing, and what you think.

bad day
Nov 06 2008 02:07

I feel really stupid today, I went to sleep late because of the election and I missed my gym class. Now for like 2 months I can't miss a gym class,it's making me really nervous. I totally forgot about how you could lose credit if you miss a certain amount of days,I was just thinking about the grade part. I know it's stupid to skip something that is suppossed to be an easy A, but it makes me so uncomfterable to run in front of everyone. it's like for everyone else it's pretty easy and then there I am, and I am out of breath and sweating. It's so embarrassing how bad out of shape I am in.It makes me feel like i stand out,in a bad way, which is like my life story. Whenever, it feels like I am noticed at all it's for a bad reason.I always feel out of place, I never feel like I belong.So I try not to stand out, or if I do talk to someone, I always monitor what I say so I don't say the "wrong" thing, it's very exhausting.So needless to say I am not having a good day. I hope all of you are doing better then me.

Diet victory
Nov 05 2008 14:33

I am so proud of myself today! My dad wanted to get alot of chinese food today, but I told him not to,and I ended up getting subway instead.I probabley saved so many calories, but it's not even the caloreis,by the end of the day, I will probabley mantain according to calories. What I am really proud of is that I am trying to be consistantly good, or at least ok. I used to have some pretty good days, but then I would binge and completly ruin it.I had this all or nothing attitude. Now though, if I can continue being consistently good or pretty good,I will be happy, I just hope it will be enough to lose the weight! Not only that but I walked my dog, with my dad on a trail in the woods for an hour.So today, I had some small victories, lol. :) Btw I love this site, and all the support I am getting from everyone, I really appreciate it.I hope I hear from all of you soon, and I hope all of you are doing well!

Nov 03 2008 07:54

So I weigh 187, today, on November 2nd. By December 21st I am supposed to wiegh 171, because I made a bet with my dad.Ultimatley, I want to wiegh 128 pounds, which is an overall weight loss of 70 pounds, of course if I am happier at a larger wieght I will stop losing weight, lol. So these are my mini goals for myself untill my bet with my dad is up. 11-02-08-Weight 187-currently 11-09-08-weight 184-goal 11-16-08-weight 181-goal 11-23-08-weight 179-goal 11-30-08-weight 177-goal 12-07-08-weight 175-goal 12-14-08-weight 173-goal 12-21-08-weight 171-goal So assuming I succeed then my reward will be what I win in the bet. After the bet I want to make a bunch of medium size goals, to keep me motivated. Once I reach my goals I will give myself rewards, which I still need to decide. So my mini goal weights will be first 171, then 155, then 140, and finally 128. I still have to decide, if I should give myself time goals too. I also have a fitness goal of being able to run 3 miles at a speed of 8 on a tread mill. I do not yet,know how I want to break that up. I just really hope I do it this time!