poetnw's Journal

Everyone Duck! Here comes a word pie!

Dec 17 2009 05:52

Twelve Days of Christmas

The honey and grape jam have been mixed

the dried pineapple and cranberry

filberts and pecan

flipped into the flour

God, the wheat grinder won’t grind!

One turtleneck,

Macintosh red, plumped,

its diamond patterned paper

slid behind those stacks

cookbooks splattered under

dresser and behind a box

and sleep is good

who is making that noise?

The Himalayan splashed what

and woke you two hours

before the alarm;

the rain almost loud

as that report about interstate 90

being closed for avalanche control work;

fruit cakes will be posted today

and look!

The bereavement card is ruined

but maybe that holiday card

can be wiped clean

where did the cat go

and why do I care

and have a good day

don’t forget to give

the bags to your drivers

you won’t sit on the cookies,

after all

they are the second better batch!

I found this craziness in my files yesterday. Had to sling it into the air. Wacky. Your Christmas sounds like tons of old fashioned fun, Baltimore. I love the image of all your folks getting together for old timey razzing and singing even though I can not sing a note. Nada. Love music and can't sing. And it sounds like you are on the same track as me when it comes to the radio and what you listen to- starving NPR. The Yule music programs are always outstanding. Exhilarating. Paul Winter and the Jewish Lights short stories and on and on. I listened to a Kids Christmas Concert yesterday morning. Fine stuff. And can't forget Garrison and The Car Guys- will those two ever stop snorting and laughing?! An hour of two guys snorting. And its a top rated show. Now I have WinterFall music on. I found my sweet Celtic Christmas album and played it last night- found that at the dollar store of all places. Still looking for an uillian pipes album.

Freezing fog and leftover snow this morning. Hoping to go to the library this afternoon. And the dollar store and bread store. We'll see if the temps get above freezing first. The roads cleared some yesterday. I am grateful for that.

I got in some mild exercise yesterday, sweeping under things and in general working on floors. No walking until this freeze stuff clears a bit. Hubby has the treadmill and I could but am petrified to try it- can't camp out at the physical therapists so no treadmill for me. I am working again on leg stretches. I'm baking sugar cookies today. Hubby wants to start handing out little holiday bags to the drivers starting tomorrow- the start of Christmas week! Already. Mom should be getting her fruitcake any day. I am grateful for careful bus drivers. I am grateful for the wooden railing on the front stoop that hubby put up last year. I am grateful that the temps are warming.

Yikes. The 12 days of Christmas song won't shut up.

Dec 16 2009 13:50

Its been an ok, staying in the house cause I am a coward kind of day then here comes the stupid Morman Tabernacle Choir with this stupid song. I sure hope they are having fun. I'm not, listening to it. Eek. I'd rather they put more classical French and English on but its almost time for more yummy news.

Freezing rain this morning. And fog. And roads covered with yesterday's snow. School closed. I stayed home and watched peas boil in yesterday's beef broth. Can't forget that I made up a batch of Christmas sugar cookies- will bake them tomorrow. Also made up a batch of crackers to go with the soup. And actually swept up more animal fur from under the love seat. Sure feels grand to have warmer weather though now that night is coming on, those just above freezing temps are going to cool and uh oh. The sidewalk was slick when I went out to the garbage can.

Well, no word from daughter dear since we expressed our doubts on signing up with her on the apt. Another stupid: 45 pages of lease papers?! If faxed, each paper costs a dollar. Who is insane here? 'Nuff said there. Maybe she is just busy at something productive.

Oh, Baltimore, I can't imagine. You must be achey all over. I sat and thought about your words the other day and thought, how brave you are. Logically, a year out, you should still be in your honeymoon phase. How very brave and how much grit you have. My hat is off to you. Hubby got his present job and for a year, he stayed here in an apt. and I remained where we had lived, a mountain pass separate. That at about the 20 yr. mark. I about went nuts at times. Can't imagine your pain. Take heart. There must be an end somewhere. Wish I had something better or more enlightened to say.

Cats. Yesterday afternoon I knelt on our little loveseat, bending toward the front window, tickling Sonny who sat in the window seat there. Next thing I know Samyot Siamese jumped up onto the loveseat and stood for a few minutes, his front feet over the edge of the seat. His body posture looked so much like mine. Wish someone else had been in house with a camera. This afternoon, taking the garbage out, Godiva escaped out the front. Practically jumped into a snow bank. Next moment, she turned and dashed back into the house- nope, not summer out there. Not doing that number! These fur persons just make me laugh out loud. I am grateful for that.

December 15

Dec 15 2009 05:29

The Poet’s Brogue Assails Me.

An amaryllis about to bloom

fresh snow on a dog’s back

barometers that float us past mid-December.

The aged dowager emerges from the drifted night

her dulled teeth yellow against the sifting white

hips sink toward the hard floor

as a towel is rubbed

fur flattened against hip and knee

pain a hackle and snarl risen

very like fragrant bread

lifted from the oven’s maw.

Dear Reader; forgive, can't think of your name, other than Baltimore! What a test for you- a marriage in which your partner is mostly gone. Can you think/feel your way to the future where he will not work so far from you? I wish in a way I could talk with the elders that have coped with the Depression. There must be wisdom lurking there. Due to poverty, I have had many years of closely sharing life with my hubby- he was home far more than the average and we often joked that other married folks would have killed each other due to being so close so often. We mostly just got in there and worked at getting ourselves and our daughter fed and warm and we read books. Twice I've had to handle life apart and did not find it that exhilarating. Hang in there. It sounds tough. Some day perhaps, there will be another way to bring in money and be closer to you. I know of folks where the woman lives on the West coast and the man on the East coast and yet somehow they stay married. Not sure I could handle that. I need someone closer to holler at! and cry with. Blessings.

Yup. I looked out the door last night and Charlie Brown and Harold Angel wasn't the only one staring at snow. I'm probably not going to library etc. today cause the temps are not going to get above the high 20s. Sure looks pretty out. Q Pup wanted to go for a walk last night so we walked the half block down to the school grounds and back together. I ordered a dehydrator- hubby has insisted on drying food in the regular oven and I am ready to play with a smaller electric device. Thank you again for all your comments, dear reader. You did it- you brought a tear to this old fossil's eye. Thanks.

Waiting for snow

Dec 14 2009 13:44

We've heard rumors of snow/blizzard coming. Had a sniff of snow this morning. Now snow is supposed to be here starting at 4: 14 minutes to go!! Ha. Wish I were joking. As I drove us to our errands this morning, I expressed my gratitude for roads clear of snow and ice. The ability to brake the car is not something I will take for granted soon. I get edgy around this time of the year. I am a Snow Grinch.

Its anniversary day. Hubby home. We bought a three pack of honeys for his co-worker's holiday gift and shopped at Safeway afterwards- bought a lovely amarlyis that will bloom soon and whipped cream to go over canned peaches with cookies this evening. Sounds decadent and old fogey. And ate lunch at a pricy peaceful restaurant that looks out over the lake. I spotted a lone flicker arcing in the trees by the shoreline. Lots of ice on the lake. I had breaded fish and coleslaw and fruit instead of fries. I love fries- the first two are very tasty then they get cold and all I can think of are all the calories piling up. The fruit had a bunch of melon and most of it was rocky so that didn't get eaten, either. Did eat the red grapes and the white roll and pat of butter.

Holiday mail and phone calls. Mom got her Christmas story so all the other long distance folks must have gotten theirs, too. Daughter got hers- she does not know for sure what the finished story looks like until I send her a copy. And a Canada friend sent me mail- this lady old enough that each year I wonder if she has gone on to Celtic glory. I need to sit down and feel out a letter to Dee. Staying connected. That is what it is all about. Connected. Holding on best we can.

Relationships. I don't know sometimes how I've stayed with my hubby. We've had to work at it at times and its been worth every bit of sweat- staying together is not all giggles. I wish it were and mostly it is but there are times when we don't jive. We've had to learn to talk; to communicate; to not let things stew until it all boils out and somebody gets burned. Not easy but so needed and neither of us are perfect at not sitting and keeping the problem quiet until kaboom! And for sure, never ever say "You ALWAYS" do this or that or say that etc. Keep the hell away from Always. That word is a shit sandwich. Designed to blow up the world.

I sit here with Samyot Siamese and know that hubby is pacing cause he wants to walk around the block. I sure need to cause somehow a cookie or two popped into my mouth today. My oldest sister is again on my mind. Diabetes and feet burn/hurting. I told her that we have a Spring date. She's watched me walk away from her, heading around Lake Padden. This Spring she will go with me and we'll huff the 2.6 miles together. We'll get 'er done.

Shaking

Dec 13 2009 12:40

Too much. Way out there. Way beyond my understanding. I was on the phone, listening to friend's daughter's woes: she'd been kicked out with her two kids and one on the way from her present house- belongings in the yard, food locked in the house. Phone kept beeping. Someone calling me a tad early. I finally said to friend that I had to find out who was frantically trying to reach me.

It was daughter. Barely coherent with grief and shock. Her beloved Captain Midnight Orion cat has been ill- did not take the move at all well. She had him eating a bit of soft food. He suddenly went into decline last night. Gone. Housemate even did CPR on him. His spirit has gone to whereever good cat's spirits go. Daughter has learned to love animals deeply from me. I am glad she was able to reach out to me. As we talked and I listened to her telling her sad tale, I suddenly remembered what happened to me in the deep reaches of last night. I woke around 3 and felt per usual, Sonny James lying between hubby and me. I reached out and stroked his softness. He woke and reached to me, holding my hand without scratching. I fell asleep that way, his soft hand on mine. And then daughter calls to say she has lost Orion and it happened around 2:30 a.m. Daughter is going through so much and now this. I wished her well and said she was mine and she'd not better not forget that. She said I was hers, too. So tonight I'll shut up for a moment and let the cosmos speak its song and remember. Just remember. I will also give another bag of cat food to the animal shelter in his honor.

We've had an unexpected Christmas visitor. A friend's Mother called and said she wanted to return hubby's manuscript to him- mainly using that errand as a way to give her hubby a ride through the county. He's got COPD bad- emphysema. So they came over. I had some ginger cookies in the freezer to put into a silly holiday bag for them. We talked in the driveway cause he has such a hard time getting in and out of the truck plus he is allergic to cats. The visit felt very Christmasy in the old fashioned way. We're all quite aware that snow and ice could descend on the roads and make the 20 mile trip pure hell. So everyone is getting things done while we can. I needed to see them. I needed to hold Virgil's hand and I needed to joke with him, to wish him well.

So whatever everyone takes for granted, say thank you to the cosmos that it is so usual you don't see it anymore. The old cliche stands true: your junk is someone else's treasure. Love while you can. Grab hold and don't let go. What is just per usual could wind up in Missouri or Arizona and your usual hugs could be dished out via the telephone. Or not at all.

Absurdity

Dec 12 2009 09:24

Life is just absurd. A friend and I drove 20 miles north and visited another friend before shopping at the senior thrift there. Choices. The lady we visited is in her mid 50s like me. Has had way too many divorces. Smokes. Has fought her way onto SSI and now has enscounced her and her sweet fiesty cat into a low income senior housing building. I am glad she is safe. I would go nuts with that decision. I am not her. We asked her to go out with us for lunch. She did not want to leave that safe warm nest so we went off without her. And in the evening hubby and I signed up with another bank. We're working on a loan, getting a couple of things consolidated so that there is less interest. Well, you want a loan. Who has the wherewithall to pay it back? I sat there. Don't look at me. Of course hubby's income signed the contract. Hubby always defends me. Later, in the car, he says, you don't get paid. You do work- in the garden- and writing- you just don't get paid. Thanks. And as we shopped at the grocery store, my hip did its thing and I had to stop until the pain level hitched down and we could then proceed. I'm in my 50s and still having contractions!! Just in the hip joint- probably undiagnosced sciatica over there. For sure on the right side. I'm just an old fogey.

So far just cloudy. Snow chance at 20 per cent. And cold. I am delighted I got my first Santa run at the post office over with. Got to mail fruit cakes next. Time is running out. Tonight is the Yule Feast. Should I take the camera or would that be rude? And I've made my run to the so called Animal Shelter and gotten thourghly pe-od. I hate that place. Smacks me in the face on how little value animals are in this community. Its located next to the sewer treatment plant. That says it all. I hope the Powers that Be have taken mercy on that one cat. Poor downcast little cat. Cloudy eyes. Not a happy camper. Merry Christmas to all. Ha.

Its almost anniversay day. Got to think of something nice to do for that. I doubt we'll make it to Wenatchee. Too chancy. I am grateful for hubby's steady love.

Feeling a tad guilty cause I ate an out of season pear

Dec 10 2009 04:40

I am one of the Have it folks. Thanks to the credit card, I bought pears at 1.99 a pound. Ripe and nice pears. And I bought a Papa John pizza for supper, partly cause I thought some of the money supported the Tacoma police families. Found out that A. that campaign happened the day before and B. this particular Papas was not participating. Typical for this burg. "Healthy community" according to the big wigs and the media. Bull you know what.

Did it. Mailed the batch of Christmas stories. Huge job and all three of us participated. The final addressing the envelopes and nervously checking to be sure all the pages were there- would anyone tell me if page 3 or whatever was missing?? Small time publishing is not where I thought I'd ever be. About 18 went out- quite the post office scene, too.

So its my day to take a couple of bags out to the local animal jail. Time to go see what is up with that jail- have heard rumors that they are not taking inmates- where would all the errant four leggeds go? Not enough folks in this red neck town to foster any needys. The police consider cats to be wild. Ha ha. Depends on how you treat or ignore the cat.

This was my week to bake. I made a double batch of cloverleaf rolls on Tuesday. Two events equaled two batches of rolls. Per usual, I played with the white flour. Added flax seed meal, almond meal, ground oats, sesame and nutritional yeast. White flour is just too boring and makes for a goopy bread.

I am again grateful for a warm snuggly bed and warm house. I am grateful that antihistamines help the Pupster. I slept better last night cause I'd boughten more pink pills and they'd kicked in so that the Pupster wasn't licking her feet all night. Thank the Goddess for that!!

And right now it is negative 11 out. Oh yum. I just want the snow to hold off cause Saturday is that Yule feast day- found out yesterday that folks attending will be dressed medieval style but us visitors aren't expected to- nothing like that lurks in my closet at this moment. Maybe later? I'm looking forward to the event. Should be loads of fun.

Jokester sunshine

Dec 08 2009 06:51

Get this: it is zero out and due to the wind chill factor, feels like -8. And lovely sun egging me on to go outside. Un uh. I'd rather sit here, listen to Emmy Lou, be grateful to Megan, type around Samyot Siamese and wait for the roll dough to rise. Comfy. Socks on this morning cause the wood floors are cold.

Making cloverleaf rolls for hubby's work feast and also for tonight's beer meeting feast. Per usual, in with the white flour went oat flour, nutritional yeast, flax seed meal and almond meal and a tablespoon or so of sesame seeds. Can't have just white rolls. No fun. So that is rising in the warm oven.

We got a wow!! Yule invite. This cold is keeping the snow and crappy driving away. I appreciate that. Crappy as in petrified driver. Anyway, this coming Saturday an SCA type group is having a feast and a lady from it has asked us in. OOOH. Chivalry and folks that include rituals such as if you want to share a special poem or other meaningful thing with us, feel free. If the roads are too nasty, I'm finding a cab. Old time Yule celebration. Yes.

Thank you so very much for including me in your deliveries, dear Santa Megan. I promise to leave the envelope alone. A silly friend of hubbys more than mine keeps blessing us with Christmas packages in the mail. As in petite fours and yesterday, not kidding, a big box of chocolate liqueor bottles- 64 of them!!! And I don't drink. The only sweet that does not claim my greedy little fingers. Hubby plans to bring some to the beer group tonight- get our doc. soused!!

Godiva kit wanted out yesterday afternoon. Sunny so I put her on her tether and about 3 minutes later, heard a heart smacker of a yodel! Yes, this Himi yodels when distressed. I went out and brought her back in to the house and she was amazingly sweet, ha ha, snuggling up on my lap. She needed her toes warmed, I am sure. This house is an ark for us all. I will go to the library per usual. I am grateful that the wind is not so hearty. I am grateful that the temps are supposed to go up to 19.

And can't forget the news from my oldest sister. She is or was a large person- probably weighed in toward 300 at some point in her career. And yesterday she finally told me that last year the weight issue caught up with her. She was told that she had diabetes and now is working on a cataract thanks to the diabetes. She is currently going to TOPS and walking- this sister walking is a total shocker to me. I am glad she is finally getting going though becoming so sick is just plain nasty. We have been getting to know each other in the past few years. She is the oldest and I the youngest. I really don't know her and what I do know, the church that she belongs to, for one thing, keeps us apart. We have gotten to the point of friendly phone conversations so that is good. The church thing will always keep me distant. I can not and will not condone that particular church. Its history is way too bloody and way too terrorist for my liking- Americans killing Americans cause of their faith. Not cute. And innocent children slaughtered. No thanks.

'Nuff. I am grateful for my little house this morning. Grateful for socks. Grateful for a loving hubby who e-mailed me to say I'd best be very careful if I went out today.

Frigid

Dec 06 2009 13:31

I mean danged mean outside. 29 to 39 miles an hour wind making the temps go down to 9 above and feels like zero. So far no snow or ice on the roads. We drove to the discount store and slammed the groceries in the trunk then zipped into the car for shelter- did go for a mini walk earlier, to take friend's boy home with us for his weekly building/science lesson. He wasn't there. We got home to find that they'd tried to call us that they would not be home. Enough being outside for sure. No walk tonight about the block. We are grateful for the shelter of the house. The pupster wanted to be out a little longer and I made her get her happy rump back into the house- the hind left leg looks like it is not doing well. Maybe like me, her arthritis acts up more in the intense cold. She is snoring on the rug now. I am grateful that the roads are not icy. Or snow packed.

We made it to the handbell concert last night. The music reminded me of harp music. I loved overhearing conversations. A bent over white haired lady in a wheelchair told another lady that she'd been a ballet dancer all during her life. Now she had osteoarthritis. Another told snake stories- she was afraid of snakes so a friend of hers liked to be sure and tell her snake tales- a bird flying overhead let go of a snake and it landed on said friend's windshield! And far too many goodies- a boy told another boy about eclairs and the boy had his mouth full while doing so. Got to love it.

Daughter called and talked to us for about an hour. A sweet gift, hearing her. I can't forget that its Saint Nick's day- got to call my Mom. When she was a girl, St. Nick's Feast day meant almost more than Christmas- her mother would fill their stockings that they'd hung on the end of their bed and of course St. Nick had brought the goodies since her and her brother had been good. I love these old legends. I need to go find the Magical Strings Christmas album and put out the Nativity figures- the old dregs remain from my Mom and this particular set of figures my Dad had some friends make special for me. They fired the figures in their little kiln and painstakingly painted each one. It won't be long and I'll read Dulce Domum again. Anything but go outside!! I am grateful for my warm little ark. I am grateful we will have this ark paid for by the end of this month- hubby's sprightly brain says so. Less than 3 thou to go. No, it is not a 3 story Victorian. Its peaked roof does not leak and it has a bathroom and enough space for me to get tired of when it comes to cleaning.

Today is?

Dec 04 2009 06:03

Stuff is happening. Daughter stuff: she has found a cell phone system that gets her even long distance service for 35.00 a month. Says it works only in big cities. And most important of all, a data center has hired her. Oh whoo. And the lady who talked them into moving first to Nevada finally has come through with the money she owed daughter- and some of that check got eaten by the bank for fees. The data center job starts at the end of Dec. so daughter is checking out Temp Services. She continues to camp in a Nice Person's back yard. She continues to go to the food bank. We continue paying for her car and probably will make another payment cause she'll need time to get onto her feet. At least she is doing all she can to not sponge off us. We will work with her once we see that she is trying to be honorable. Its just that Shit Happens and it sure did for her. Can't believe how close we are to getting this humble house paid off. House needs work but its not a total shack, either. That one insurance company made me think more about what has been niggling at me- get the wiring updated?? How in the world do folks finance a huge project like that?! I wonder if the workman would have to go through the ceilings, like looking for and replacing thread- basically gut the joint- dollar signs are cachinging in front of my eyeballs. Got to replace the pitiful bottom kitchen cabinets and probably the fine vintage double sink- have gutted and replaced the top cabinets already- glass doors cause I am a glass monster. This Spring we'll for sure hire somebody to replace the NAG window with the garden window. Going to be some retrofitting there. And get the last bit of wooden fence up in the Way Back- I want my privacy. NOW. Greedy me. Poor hubby is not well. He stayed home yesterday. Went back to work today though he sounds kind of froggy. The State is laying off workers and cutting back etc. So far hubby continues to work- the social worker staff is about as lean as lean can get. What would a welfare office be without social workers? Hubby sure sounds meaner on the phone when he calls in to check with folks on business- such a hard job, being the messenger plus weeding out those who want a free ride and lots of dough to go with it. Hearty not fancy supper last night. Hot soup. Frigid outside. Garbanzo beans, cauli, broccoli, chicken buillion, leftover rice. Turkey bacon. Cheesy grainy toast. Today is my day. Per usual I need a nap first thing. I woke every hour and a half or so last night- not for long, just enough to check out the time but enough to disrupt my sleep. I really really need to drive over to the recycling place and dump newspapers and glass- get the car trunk cleaned out. Need to do some laundry. Exciting chores. Need cat litter from the feed store. Well, the Pup's three month supply of pain/inflammation pills are almost gone. Gone to order those today. Wow. Three months. She acts about the same- a nasty feeling is sneaking in- she probably will be With It when her legs totally give up and I'll have to play God anyway. Total awful. I can only hope that she is not suffering now due to my ego. She is snoring on her rugs now. Whatever happens, I will be with her the whole way. She's been a good dog. She deserves all the humanity she can get.