prchick's Journal

Well, nothing has changed since October... despite my continued efforts to sort my sh*t out.

If anything I've gained more weight.

The stress of my wedding, the excesses of my honeymoon, the subsequent fall back to reality, quitting my job through stress, and the subsequent joblessness have all made losing weight fall down the priority queue.

But I think it is actually all connected, and is overwhelmingly a psychological issue more than a physical one.  I believe it is all to do with my attitude to food, and my attitude about myself... how much I love myself etc.

I've been trying to look back at how I was when I lost 6 stone when I was 21.  It was a time of change, but of positive change.  I had a mentor who pushed me to my limits and beyond... and who (even though he didn't know it) made me more happy and confident than I ever thought I would be.

Over these past few years I feel that I have let myself be stifled, I have shut down many of my creative outlets, and have reigned myself in (perhaps too much) so that I could concentrate on my relationship with my fiance/husband.  However I think that has been detrimental to my health, and weight (not to mention creativity!).  I am in no way blaming him - he didn't force me to do anything.  I chose to, subconsciously.

Now it is time to stop that cr*p... and to find the qualities that my old mentor brought out in me.  I am firey, energetic, funny, smart, motivated, and slim!

No more hating myself, then eating cos I do... then hating myself again...

Bring on the positive affirmations!

New years resolutions are not for me... and this isn't one... it just happens to coincide - damnit!

xH