puh8suwrux's Journal

Yup.  I've got it.  The girls have it.  Ear pain all the way around.  The entire right side of my head, face, and neck hurt, and my tinnitis is louder than usual.  No fevers, though, and the girls seem pretty ok today.  I will probably will make a trip to the doctor tomorrow, and if the girls have problems tonight they probably will too.

#2 spent practically the whole night with Daddy, while I slept (for the most part) complaining about her ear.  Finally, she fell asleep, only to wet the bed.  And of course, it all ran over onto his side!

So, no one feels good, and Daddy is very grumpy because he really didn't sleep last night.

Hubby said that, because his Dad is on Coumadin, and changing the intake of vitamin K affects the way the drug works, we probably should just let them cook for themselves.  I'd wanted to give them a bit of a change of cooking, a bit of a break, but he's probably right.  So, I'll settle for getting them Snuggies and maybe a bit of something extra.

I ordered my parents a couple of piano CD's (David Lanz and Michael Jones), and then Sledgehammer Season One for my Dad (he REALLY liked that show).  Via Amazon, so I don't have to worry about it.  So, my Christmas shopping is pretty much done. 

I bought the girls' presents Friday night - now I just need to find time to wrap them!  I think I did pretty well balancing price and quantity.  They don't need a lot, so I only got them a few things.  Hope they enjoy the Wii, because Santa really isn't bringing them anything from their list except a couple of stocking stuffers.  I did buy things from their list to be from us.  Ah, the silly worryings of a parent!

Mom sent us a package of double walled tumblers.  I don't know why she thought we needed them, but we have 4 medium ones and 2 little ones that she sent the girls.  They don't stack.  It just seems weird.  Maybe she thought we'd like them instead of our Quiktrip collection, but the Quiktrip cups stack really well, AND we get discount refills (which we are using less and less often).  I don't know.  Mom likes to shop and then she gives us her "surplus".

I'm responsible for the goody bags for #1's school Christmas party.  So, going to do some shopping for that.  I want to minimize the candy, especially since there are peanut allergies.  I wish I could go to the party - but they don't allow younger siblings.  Mr. Rux is taking off the next day, and then a week so he can visit with his brother, so I don't think he can take that afternoon off.  *sighs*  So much for being actively involved in the classroom.

OK.  I'm off to go take some tylenol and wash the pee-pee sheets.

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Tonight - put up Christmas tree

Saturday and Sunday -

• Grocery shopping
• Take #1 Christmas shopping for sister and Daddy
• Go shopping myself for kids and Mr. Rux (and a new bra or two, as the "old" ones are stretched out)
• Cook for Mr. Rux's parents.  His dad is on Coumadin, so a low vitamin K diet, and since his mom is severely impaired most of the time, his dad usually cooks.  I don't think they get much variety - his dad is a bit confused about the coumadin diet, and they've never eaten incredibly well.  Planning Spaghetti Bake, Tortilla Chicken Soup, Banana Nut bread, and maybe some No Bake Cookies.  Will discuss including recipes for him with Mr. Rux.  We have some plastic take-out containers that are microwave safe, so I'll probably put things in those, so it isn't a whole lot of food at one time, and they can pull it out of the freezer and eat it.

It really seems like a full weekend, even if there are only four things.  But possible.  Makes me feel good to be able to cross things off my list.

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Somehow I gained .4 pounds since yesterday morning.  I know, I know, it's immaterial, but I was psyching myself up for making that trendline start pointing down again and now it is not.  I imagine I just didn't drink enough water yesterday (I was SO cold).  And of course the continual battle with constipation.

I'm on Miralax and have been for a while, but I am still not having good bowel movements, even with having good fiber intake and trying to keep my water intake good.  I'm thinking of upping the dose for a few days to try to "clear" stuff out, like what the doctor recommended for my kids.  I always feel so "heavy" in my abdomen.  And I probably should go get things checked out - it is a problem I and my mother have always had.  Always felt a bit jealous of my dad who had a "12:00 sit" every day.

I made homemade bread to go with my first attempt at homemade spaghetti sauce.  "More" homemade spaghetti sauce, anyway - I did use tomatoes from a can, but they were no-salt.  The spaghetti sauce was absolutely delicious after I put in a spoon of sugar (thanks chatters!).  The bread I made with 2/3 whole wheat flour, and I substituted 3 T milled flax seed for 1T of the oil, and it was delicious, though it didn't rise much.  There are several possibilities for that - it was on the express setting (58 minutes), which probably isn't best for so much whole wheat flour, and I think I made the water too hot.

We got the living room and hall picked up.  Amazing how much better that makes me feel, to have a room that has some semblance of caring.   I'll vaccum today and we can put the tree up tonight.  Then I can start buying/wrapping presents.

I went to the spare bedroom to sleep last night.  Hubby had been having bad nights, and I just couldn't take another - especially since he wasn't even reading yet.  I was so exhausted I felt off balance, and my glands in my throat were swollen and hurting (this happens when I get really tired).  I woke up twice, I think.  I got about 8.5 hours of sleep, and feel like I could have slept a couple more.  When my mood gets down, I really need to look at my sleep, because I think being tired has a big effect.

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Fat - 19.8% (39 grams)
Protein - 17.3% (76 grams)
Carbohydrates - 62.9% (278 grams)
Alcohol - 0%
Other - 0%

Daily Sodium Intake - 2,165 mg
Daily Sugar Intake - 104 grams
Daily Cholesterol Intake - 309 mg
Daily Saturated Fat Intake - 10 grams
Daily Fiber Intake - 32 grams

Calories In:  1703

Calories Out:  1990

Deficit:  287

Had a really good deficit going until dinner, when I had a huge piece of homemade wheat bread, with my homemade spaghetti (first time I made the sauce instead of opening the can).  Oh, well, I thoroughly enjoyed it.  Did pretty well in spite of it.  Sugar is at 260% of what I am supposed to be having??  Wow.  Of course, I had two mini candies, and fruit.  And protein is still low - need more beans in my diet, I'm thinking.

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I was so overwhelmed by the time last night rolled around that I ended up crying in the bathtub while Mr Rux put the kids to bed.

I feel that I have unrealistic expectations for myself.  I want to be perfect in everything.  And I know that just isn't possible.  I'm just having a hard time scaling my expectations back.

Mr. Rux said the house doesn't have to be perfect for our Christmas guests - because their house was trashed too.  Doesn't really make me feel better - I want to be better than her.  He said to just ignore the playroom for now.  He said I did really well when I just focused on one thing each day, along with maintaining what I had done, and suggested I do that again.  He said that I can't have a perfect house AND spend time with the kids AND have time to myself AND...

He wants to go visit his parents before Christmas.  That is a 4 hour trip each way, to visit with them for 3 hours before his mom gets tired and starts making up accusations to hurl at various family members (I think I'm the only one who hasn't "stolen" anything).  His dad is nearly 80, and can't see well, and his mom, aside from social disorders, is attached to her oxygen machine from a lifetime spent smoking.  So they can't come see us.

I would like to bring them some meals to put in their freezer, some healthy things that I don't think they fix, but I don't know if I'm going to be able to pull that off before we go (don't know which weekend we are going yet).  His dad is on blood thinners, so I need to look up what vegetables he can't have.

I also want to fix something like banana nut bread to bring the nice neighbor family that has girls around #2's age.  They kept our snapping turtle for a week while we were on vacation, and have picked up packages off our porch for us a couple of times.

I need ideas for a $20-25 gift for a 13-14 year old.  Gotta pick that out and get it mailed to West Texas.  Also need to pick up gifts for my brother's girls (about the same age as mine) and get them mailed out to Oklahoma. 

And at some point I need to take #1 shopping for her annual ornament and for presents for Daddy and Sister.  And I need to go shopping by myself to pick up the girls' presents, hopefully soon before the crowds get really bad (I went really close to Christmas last year, and they were actually sold out of a lot of things).

I am not sending out Christmas cards this year (unless someone actually sends me one and I feel guilty).  I like to make a Christmas letter, but I don't know who enjoys it - everyone knows what we do throughout the year anyway (my gossipy mom makes sure of that).  It is a huge hassle, and last year I think I only got one back, from a friend from college.

There are so many things I want to do to make Christmas special, not all about the gifts, but it seems I run out of time each year.  It makes me sad, while at the same time I know my kids don't miss all the things we never get around to doing, and that what they remember is things like putting a gingerbread house together with me.

Need to clean the living room today so we can put the Christmas tree up.  Along with a load of laundry and a load of dishes.  That is all I'm going to try for.  If I have leftover time I might do some FSA paperwork to see where we stand there.

I'm feeling a bit more calm, simply because I've decided to do a slacker Christmas until I feel less overwhelmed.  Wish I knew how to handle it all better.  Wish I didn't get overwhelmed so easy.  Next year will be better.

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Fat - 21.6% (37 grams)
Protein - 23.7% (91 grams)
Carbohydrates - 54.8% (210 grams)
Alcohol - 0%
Other - 0%

Daily Sodium Intake - 2,129 mg
Daily Sugar Intake - 106 grams
Daily Cholesterol Intake - 155 mg
Daily Saturated Fat Intake - 16 grams
Daily Fiber Intake - 27 grams

Calories In:  1473

Calories Out:  2010

Deficit:  537

Not too bad today as far as calories - I just wasn't hungry.  Of course, I didn't do much either - a lot of paperwork today.  Did better as far as sodium.  The sugar is mostly from 4 mini pieces of chocolate candy (yay, I just had four!), and fruit, so I think I did pretty well.  I know I didn't have enough vegetables, and I really need to stop eating the lean pockets, but they are so good and so handy, especially when I come home from errands and #2 and I are hungry.

Tomorrow I think I will fix a salad for lunch.  Could either have a chopped steak with it (leftover from tonight's dinner), or make a chef's salad with ham and egg.  Dinner will be pork steak with something or other vegetables.  Maybe I'll make cornbread - I've got a hankering for some good cornbread.  Now, to just limit myself to one piece of cornbread!!

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I want an advent calendar to reuse each year, so I can fill it with "good" chocolate instead of the stuff even my kids won't eat, and little prizes.  It is amazing to me how limited the selection is.  I found one at target, but it is made with mirrors, and looks like children should not touch it.  Found 1 at amazon.com, plain white, so I could decorate it myself, but we are already a day behind. 

So my kids get lousy chocolate this year.  I never think of it until after Thanksgiving - and then we are out of town.  Really stinks.  But now I have time to actually look around for something I like - maybe Hobby Lobby.  Or even design my own to put on the "honey-do list".

Bought a blood pressure cuff, a temporal thermometer, a first aid kit for each car, and some bandaids and various medications that I think we can use before the expiration - still not close to using up our FSA money.  Have I said we will never do FSA again?  Ugh.  And glasses lens wipes are NOT covered.  Odd that contact solution is, but those are not.

The Wii has arrived, and I can't wait for the kids to get it so I can play with it.  I know, it sounds funny, but I am so excited about it.  We went ahead and splurged on extra remotes so everyone can play - otherwise I might never get to!  I had not quite realized they were so expensive.

We are thinking of renting a meeting room for a couple of hours for #1's birthday party in January, to take a bit of the stress off of me.  I just started thinking that I really don't have enough room for 9 girls, and a few adults, to move around and be comfortable in, not to mention the whole getting the house clean again after our Christmas guests.

#2 has wrapped herself in her sister's new blanket (she just earned it) and fallen asleep in the floor beside me, without a word.  She seemed tired first thing this morning, unusually grumpy.  Hopefully this will help the day run smoother.

Got lots to do.  Feeling overwhelmed with even the necessary tasks.  Had a hard time going to sleep last night because my mind kept whirring and my jaw hurt and wouldn't relax, then I kept waking up because my hand was hurting from lack of circulation from the way I was sleeping.  Bah Humbug.  I love the good parts of Christmas, but I don't like the stress that comes with it.

Deep breaths.  Dont' eat the chocolate.

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Calories In:  1744

Calories Out:  2150

Deficit: 406

  Fat - 21.8% (44 grams)
Protein - 21.7% (100 grams)
Carbohydrates - 56.5% (259 grams)
Alcohol - 0%
Other - 0%

Daily Sodium Intake - 3,810 mg
Daily Sugar Intake - 104 grams
Daily Cholesterol Intake - 476 mg
Daily Saturated Fat Intake - 14 grams
Daily Fiber Intake - 34 grams

I did well - I didn't have the s'mores today that my tongue was calling for.  One small battle won.

I need to increase my protein, I think.  The sodium is probably mostly from the pizza pocket and beef jerky I had today.  Got vegetables cut up, so things should go pretty well for the week.  Spent about an hour doing it, too.  My burn may actually be higher, because I'm set at sedentary and try to log everything above a couple of hours doing daily stuff like cooking.  But, my loss seems to correspond pretty well with this.

Need to keep my water intake high - keep reminding myself to go get a drink.  It used to be second nature to sip on water all day, but nowadays I forget.  Today was the first day I came close to what I need in a long time.

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And back over 180.  Hopefully it will drop back down in the next few days. 

Nothing like spending time with family to make you feel better about your own.   My sister-in-law is the nicest person, and we get on pretty well, but every story includes something she bought on sale.  She remembers the price she paid and how much she saved on EVERYTHING!  And I'm sitting there thinking she's spending tons of money on things she wasn't planning on getting in the first place.  Oh, well, they can afford it at least.  And we get a lot of hand-me-downs with the tags still on!

I should have brought more vegetables.  We ate turkey, cold, for 3 days, because their "company kitchen" with the big table is downstairs, and they didn't have any microwavable plates downstairs.  I could have gone upstairs and brought one down, but that seemed like it was crossing an invisible line.  Maybe I'm too timid.  Besides, there was only butternut squash to heat up - not like that added much to turkey.  No one ate at the same time after the big Thanksgiving meal.  It was complete and utter chaos. 

I ate the carrots I brought like they were going out of style, trying to be as good as I could.  I think that is why my jaw is hurting.  But it didn't keep me away from the pumpkin or pecan pie.

They are coming for an entire week right after Christmas.  Need to plan out meals and do LOTS of cleaning, and hide away anything I don't want broken or scattered to the high heavens.  Their 9 year old son is a bit on the wild side, and ends up breaking something every time they come.  Last time they were here Mr. Rux spent a lot of time telling him NO, and trying to get him to recognize that he was tearing stuff up.  So of course, Mr. Rux was the bad guy.  See, this kid doesn't get into trouble until finally his mom has had enough.  He can't ever predict when that will be.  He has a good heart, but he has learned all he has to do is ignore adults and they will be distracted by something else.

Yesterday I spent all day trying to get things back in order.  Brought home a lot of hand-me down clothes for #1, so I got those sorted and put away.  And I did a lot of laundry.  Now is the tedious process of weeding out clothes that don't fit #1 the way I want.  Got rid of one pair of jeans this morning (We brought home at least 10 pairs).

We are losing a lot of money in our FSA because hubby was going to get some teeth fixed but never found the time to do it.  And once he did, didn't like the dentist, so we changed, and he REALLY didn't like that one (didn't even make it into the dental chair).  So now no dentist has openings until January.  Not going with this HMO again - too few dentists, and they all seem to be on the shady side of the profession.  Not crooks, but they don't seem to be quite up to date.

So, going to buy lots of bandaids and whatever drugs I think we will use before the expiration, going to get another pair of glasses so I have prescription sunglasses, and we are still going to lose a lot.  Crap.  I think I'd rather have the money and pay taxes on it than just lose it like this.  This happened the last time we ventured into FSA-land.  Just not going to do it again.

The sun is shining and #2 wants to stay in her footsies pajamas.  I wanted to go to the library and then go buy an advent calendar, but no big deal.  So I'm going to stay home all day and get things straightened up.  Fed up with chaos.  I don't do well in it.

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The last time I took measurements was 10/12.  Since then, I've lost .5 inches of boobage (could just be the bra), 1.25 inches in my waistline, and .75 inches in my hips.  And it is almost TTOM, which means I may actually be bloated at the moment.  All that, without even really noticing, because my weight has fluctuated so much.

Mr. Rux sent me back to bed yesterday morning, and I slept until 11.  Didn't immediately feel better, but did start feeling better as the day grew, and this morning feeling better but tired.  Both the kids woke up, one right after the other, so it was after midnight before I finally got to fall asleep. 

I think his feeling sick is mostly just not getting enough sleep.  Between his poor sleep habits and "fighting" with his CPAP, he just isn't getting a good night's sleep.  But, he realizes he does sleep better with it (when he's actually asleep), so I'm very glad about that.  He jumps around a whole lot less with it on.  But he's having problems with it leaking air around his face - he's gonna try to call tonight about it.

I did pretty well diet-wise this weekend, if you average it all out.  Pigged out at a buffet for breakfast Saturday morning, but didn't eat much the rest of the day.  Sunday had two chocolate cake donuts for breakfast, but felt puny so didn't have a whole lot more during the day.  Tried to drink lots of water to encourage things to drain.  So I weighed in this morning at 178.2.  Not my lowest, but 1 pound less than Friday.

Plan for today is cereal and an egg this morning, then taco salad for lunch.  I've not been eating enough vegetables, so I'm going to make a big effort to get more of them.  I also need to eat more beans, but that can wait 'till after Thanksgiving.

I've got lots to do today to get ready for Thanksgiving.  Made it hard to fall asleep last night, thinking of everything that needed to get done.  Wish I could turn off my brain like I turn out the light.  Even making a list didn't really even settle things.  And "50 ways to leave your lover" kept running through my head.  Though I dreamed that I was singing "Lady Lumps" to a high school stadium, complete with sexay movements.  Wierd that I was wearing a puff jacket at the time.

Ok.  Going to try to stay off CC for the most part today - I need to be a busy beaver.  Kinda freaking that I won't have access when I travel.  (All they have where Mr. Rux's brother lives is dial-up).  *pouts*

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