santana90's Journal

Entering Pagent
Mar 16 2009 07:37

I never thought Id be one to enter a pagent, but there ya go. And here I am. Entering a pagent. Like wow.

So I went to the first rehersal yesterday and these girls have nice bodies, are eloqent, poised, etc. I feel like the complete oppposite but Im going to start working on it.

Boy does my diet crack down today, Like really. So Im just making a note of what my plan is really going to look like for the next few weeks. Also, the smoking has to stop, so does the drinking. Oh man is this going to be hard!

Breakfast
yogurt and a fruit OR oatmeal and a fruit; tea

Snack
a fruit OR nuts (almonds, peanuts etc.)

Lunch
A salad OR a veggie sub OR tuna with crackers and veggies

Snack
slice of wheat bread with peanut butter (or just something healthy thats around)

Dinner
Beans and rice OR eggs and tuna (no mayo) OR tofu and rice and veggies

So basically thats more or less what my food plan will look like.  And I also bought the Hip Hop Abs DVD, so I will be doing that a few times a week. Plus Im joining the gym (hopefully this week- soon as I get money).

:)

UGH! WHY!!!!
Mar 06 2009 15:31

Why. Why. WHY!!!!

Weigh in is on monday. I stand to lose 35$. Im suppose to be atleast 130 by monday. Last time I weighed in I was 134.I realllllly hope Im atleas 130 by monday. But Im eating sooo bad.

UGH.

Todays menu

Breakfast
fat free yogurt, banana, coffe

Lunch
tofu stir fry, steamed veggies, garlic potatoes

THEN
snickers bar, lay barbeque chips, 2 reeses cups, a box of digestive milk chocolate cookies.

BLEH! Im just drinking loads of water right now. Hopefully it'll make me feel better. I feel very bloated and disgusting.

So yea, dinner wont be much. If I even eat dinner. Im gonna take a slimming tea and call it a day. Hopefully I wont get anymore cravings.

Since I got so much shit
Mar 05 2009 12:21

I think im going to try and really do my best at avoiding food that contain nasty animal parts, liquids, enzymes etc. seeing as avoiding JUST MEAT isnt good enough. (Though cutting out dairy will be tough- and im not willing to do that as yet)

Anyway I just want to make a log of pretty much what my diet plan is probably going to look like for a while from today.

Breakfast
Oatmeal with cream and sugar/equal, 1 egg white and 1 egg fried or boiled

Snack
Tea no sugar, no cream

Lunch
Either veggie sub sandwich or a salad

Snack or anytime I get hungry
Tea

Dinnner
Beans (probably a stir fry), brown or white rice, and veggies

So grocery list:
oats
cream
sugar/splenda/equal
whole wheat bread
sandwich stuff (lettuce, tomatos, onions, peppers etc. and condiments)
tea and coffee
beans
rice
vegetables
water
diet sodas

Im quite limited on cash- so there we go!...And I know Ill probably get bored with this diet but whatever.

OMG yesterday sucked!
Mar 03 2009 08:32

So yesterday was horrible. As per my post in the Weight Loss forum, I ate a big breakfast earlier than normal and ended up starving 3 hours later.

Actually, I was starving all day. And I didnt eat the things I should. My menu looked like this:

Breakfast (6:15 am): Omelete with tomato and parmesan cheese, 2 slices honey wheat bread, some oatmeal

After breakfast: (7:30): Soy latte

Lunch (11:30): fried grouper fish, brown rice, veggies with lots of hot sauce

After lunch (12:30): fat free yogurt

*And I thought I was doing well, BUT*

After after lunch (1:45): Caramel pretzel

Another snack (3:00): BIG bag of doritos and a snickers bar

Another snack (6:00 pm): HUGE cream cheese danish

Yet again (8:30 pm): Chocolate milkshake from Wendys

Dinner (finally 9:45): Fish deep fried in bad oil, greasy peas and rice, GREASY baked macaroni and cheese, FAT FILLED cole slaw with lots of mayo, a few fries, coke REG. coke (I never drink reg. soda)

I havent even bother to think of the calorie count for yesterday.

So Im assuming yesterday had to do with my TTOM to be honest. But I woke up this morning determined to get on track. I will do good today. I just feel it.

I didnt exercise yesterday either. But I will do something today.

Any comments, suggestions on how to stop days like yesterday?

Breaking 130
Feb 18 2009 08:34

Ive been trying to break out of the 130's for a while now.

I remember when I actually went up to 145 (but I quickly caught myself)...but IDK why breaking the 130 mark is so difficult for me. I mean I have been 130.8...but gad damn I just cant get to 129.

Anyway, I started at 138 and Im 134.2 right now. I guess its slowly but steadily coming off..Ill just keep working at it.

And when I finally do break 130...Im rewarding myself. Either a nipple piercing or a new tattoo.

:)

Never changes...
Feb 13 2009 10:38

It doesnt change. It never changes. For the last three years dealing with my weight- nothing has changed. My aeting habits, my thoughts are all the same.

You would think that after so long something would shift. Even a bit. Feels like Ive been reliving 10th grade everyday since. Just the same shit all over.

Diet, lose control, binge, purge, try and restrict, binge again, purge again, guilty thoughts, depressed thoughts

So when does it all change?

No one knows what I have to go through. People think I just snap for no reason, get upset for no reason, get depressed for no reason....if only they knew.

I dont know how to change.

So it begins...
Feb 02 2009 08:24

Today, this monday morning, it begins. I am serious about my health now. I can't continue to live the way I do and be unhappy in this body.

So here is my diet plan (I say diet but really-lifestyle change)

Calorie goal: 1500 calories

Acitivity goal: Atleast 30 minutes cardio per day

Health goal: Stop smoking and be able to run for 30 mins straight

Starting weight: 138 lbs

Goal weight: 130 lbs

Hopefully I stick with this. I have a tendency to give up when I dont do it perfectly. But Im trying to get out of that "all or nothing" state of mind. So if I mess up, no biggie...get back on the wagon. Sigh.....atleast that's what I'll try and tell myself.

Weigh in's will be every two weeks. Starting Feb 2, 09.

Next weigh in is Feb 16, 09.