sarah1090's Journal

Oct 21 2008 21:24

My eating has been extremely screwed up for the past few days. I binged like crazy, I felt terrible, I ate until I was ready to throw up (but didn't). I seriously had to keep a trash bin next to my bed because I was afraid I was going to blow. I did that to myself 3 days in a row. My stomach has never hurt so much for so long in my life. It sucked. Today I decided to 'reset' my system by fasting and drinking green tea all day to curb hunger. I know this is frowned upon by some people, but I think my body really benefited from it. I plan to get back to my regular healthy eating habits tomorrow and I am very excited to be in control again.

Today, i went to the gym and exercised for an hour and a half FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SEVEN WEEKS!!! I don't know if it was the smartest idea to make my re-entry to exercising on a day I was fasting, but it felt soooo goood to get back to it. I was so proud of myself for finally getting off my lazy ass and working out. For the past seven weeks (since school has started) I kept telling myself I would exercise, but I always bailed. I am glad I went today, and I plan to go 5 times a week from now on. Over the summer, I just exercised at my house with free weights, but seeing other people work out at the gym really motivates me to push myself harder.

Even though the last few days has been pretty rocky, I am feeling pretty good because I am working myself back up to healthiness..slowly but surely.

I am very very scared to get on the scale because I probably gained about 10 pounds in the last 3 days. I think I will avoid it for another week or so once my healthy habits have had time to sink in.

help

Oct 13 2008 21:38

Ok I'm in a bit of a rut. I am very aware of all the dangers of under eating, but I have been doing it anyway. The past 2 weeks I have been eating 800-900 calories a day. I've had this goal in mind to lose a ton of weight so later on down the road I'll be able to eat whatever I want. I know this is stupid. I told myself I would eat 800 cals/day until I get to 100 pounds and then I would up to 1000 per day (which I know still isnt enough). But when I was eating 1300 calories a day (I know, still low for teens), I lost like .4 of a pound in a month. It was extremely frustrating, so I decided to restrict even more. In the past two weeks, I have lost 2.8 pounds and that was very motivating to see the pounds go down. But I know Im not eating enough. And I've been so focused on losing weight that I've started to push friends away so I dont have to worry about their comments when we go out to get food and I dont get anything. Ugh I just want to be skinny and be happy with myself and the super slow loss at 1300 cals/day was too slow. I guess I really need to get back to exercising (as I havent been in a while and have instead been just focusing on restricting my calories).

I guess I'm afraid to eat 1500 cals/day with exercise because I feel like I'll gain if I was barely losing on 1300 with no exercise. I don't really know what to do...I'm down to 101.2 so its just 1.2 pounds away from 100, so should I continue eating 800 til then? If I up my cals now, I will gain a bit and then probably start losing again but I'm so impatient. I want to be healthy but I want to lose weight and those two things cant seem to go hand-in-hand. Arghhhh.

doing well

Oct 09 2008 12:37

I'm now down to 101.2! It's so great to see this pretty rapid weight loss now because I was stuck at 103.8 for like 6 weeks. I think the most important change I made is trying to eat less processed foods, and I guess it has worked! I have all the motivation in the world right now, which is something new to me because I was extremely depressed last year and didn't have the motivation to do ANYTHING (sleep, eat right, school work, etc.). Another important thing I've noticed I've been doing is every time I look in the mirror, I smile at myself. Even if I still don't love the way I look, it reminds me how far I have come and that the little steps I'm taking do add up.

When you think splurging a little won't make a big difference in the long run, just remember that EVERY little thing you do counts. Splurging a little really isn't a big deal, but if you let yourself do it every day, then it really adds up. Every time you're considering treating yourself, try to keep your ultimate goal in mind and decide if the treat is really worth it. I'm not trying to say don't let yourself cheat ever, because that leads to bingeing/giving up, but just keep in mind your goal always. It is ok to splurge every so often, but it also slows down your weight loss ever so slightly. Also, the longer you stick with eating healthier, the easier it becomes!

Anyway, good luck to everyone in reaching your goals; YOU CAN DO IT!

amazing

Oct 05 2008 14:42

So the beginning of this week I binged like crazy for like 3 days straight. It was so disgusting. I hadnt weighed myself for like 2 weeks, so I decided to this morning because I had been eating well the second half of the week. When I got on the scale I actually screamed with joy to see that i weighed 102.8! My last weigh in had been 103.4 but I expected to have gained AT LEAST a pound after the insane bingeing this week. Plus, I had been stuck at 103.8 pounds for a good 6 weeks so it was so amazing to finally see a number below 103. Seeing this new number on the scale really motivated me to stay on track and hopefully get to 100 soon.

It's amazing how one silly number can give me so much motivation to continue.