seinih's Journal

Really Serious About losing weight
Nov 06 2009 16:39

Last week I began swimming, I have been food aware for lots of years but can always find a reason to ignore facts and overcome logic because I love food so much. I know I have an unhealthy attitude towards food, I also know that when i look back at pictures of me aged 21 post delivery of my 2nd child at a size 10 (uk) I felt fat and unattractive then but would give anything to go back to the beautiful girl that I was back then. My mum was a yo yo dieter and still to this day struggles with her weight. I have always understood food values and know the diference with what is good and not so.

I was diagnosed with PCOS some years ago but didtn heed the warnings and have let my weight climb to a massive 290lb, im afraid to go on holiday as I think I would not fit in a seat,  i know people look at me in a disgusted way. I seperated from my partner 3 years ago after 15 years and after an ugly and painful split i was sad and depressed for some time which only compounded my problems. I am an affectionate person and need to love and be loved and I know that people are not interested in me at the size i am.

I need to follow a Low GI diet and exercise daily, right now im swimming 1km per day in an hour so I figure this should burn a lot of calories. Next week I have my Gym Induction so I can do an hour in the gym before the swim.

If I can just manage my diet I want to transform myself. My biggest worry is that all through my life i am not a starter - finisher, i can commit myself to anything (obsessively) for  a month but tire easily of things when boredom and routine begin to set in.

I have a beautiful baby grandaughter aged 1 and want to be around to see her grow up.

I am actually only 38 and youngest son is just completing his last year of education and when he leaves home I want to travel the world but I dont want to worry about the rope snapping on my bungee jump over the grand canyon or getting wedged in my seat while flying to fiji.

Wish me luck.