sharpdust's Journal

Same Boat
Nov 06 2009 10:23

I weighed in at 240.6 this morning...so much for being out of the  240s forever...I have recently been remotivated, and am planning on losing as much as I can  (~15 pounds) by New Year's. The whole "Mormon" (this is some guy's nickname, not the actual Mormon religion) thing is really messing with me and I need to lose some weight to make myself feel better, as strange as that may sound. I've been stuck since my cruise in March, and that was a LONG time ago. Maybe I have not had the proper motivation, idk, but I need to lose some pounds to get me to a happy place again. 8 weeks until New Year's, so if I want 15 pounds, I need to lose ~1.8 pounds a week. This will be my goal, however I will not beat myself up if I don't get 1.8 pounds a week. I just need to lose weight. Period. This last week I went down 2 pounds to get back to 240, so I am already on my way =]

I will be updating my journal probably almost daily, I need to reflect on what I'm doing and how this is going to help me reach my goal. Back to the basics!

Bye Bye 240s, forever!
Jul 17 2009 16:30

Ok, so I weighed in at 235.6 this morning, so I think its safe to say I am out of the 240s...FOREVER! Haha, I was stuck in the lower 240s for about 3 months, so its nice to finally break through. Wow 235...I remember thinking about being this weight back when I started at 280...I am still not happy with my weight, but its safe to say I've come a long way. I can't believe I stuck with it and have actually, to date, lost about 45 pounds...I mean WOW! I am so proud of myself. I did it all by myself (with some support of my CC pals!), no fad diet, no pills, I did it healthy and the right way. It's been 1.5 years since I started, and one may say, wow 45 pounds...thats it?? But I say, wow, 45 pounds gone, still gone and never coming back! I need to remember to read this later on when my weight loss is not going as planned, so I know that I have come a long way and will continue to do so. I will get under 200, I will reach 180...no doubt about it.

Progress =]
Jul 13 2009 13:26

Sooooo, I have had an awesome July so far. I was at 237.6 this morning, out of the 240s and almost into the middle 230s =]. I feel once I get down to 235, the 240s will be gone...FOREVER! then come the 220s, but I am getting a little ahead of myself lol. I am going to Mexico on August 4th for 2 weeks and want to lose as much as possible before then. I think I can do another 6-7 pounds, which would be awesome! I have to admit I am a little scared of going and gaining weight but I have to take it easy I suppose. it's not so much the food but the alcohol that frightens me. I want to take a scale or see if my grandma has a scale so I can weight myself so i won't be completely in the dark as to my weight. I don't have to drink a lot I suppose, I plan on enjoying myself while still being conscious of what I intake. I am SO excited! These people have not seen me in 2 years, so i expect some surprised faces. I should be 50 pounds lighter than when they last saw me =].

HALFTIME!
Jul 01 2009 09:04

So it is the middle of the year and I need to reflect on where I am.

I started at 256 at the beginning of the year and am down to 242 as of this morning. 14 pounds lost...not bad.

Not bad, but not great. I have to look at this positively though. I lost 14 pounds, thats 14 pounds I don't have to carry around with me daily, 14 pounds I don't have to lose. I lost 5.5% of my body weight in these last six months and since I began in january 2008 I have lost 38 pounds and 13.6% of my body weight. i started at 280. Wow. It is coming slowly but its coming.

I am so happy i have stuck with this and even though I have bouts when I eat or don't exercise, I always come back. I think thats whats important. We all may fall off the wagon, some more times that we'd like to admit, but we always come back and resolve to live a healthier life. We never give up, we always want this and know that we can lose weight because we have. While I don't have Jared (Subway) pants to show off how much I've lost, I have pictures and I just feel different.

I want the latter part of the year to be BIG! I want to double what I lost in the first 6 months. I know this is going to be hard, but I know I can. I have lost that amount of weight in that period of time, and its really not asking for too much. Just me putting in my part and being conscious about what i do. I'll have bad days, possibly even bad weeks, but I need to just keep my head straight. This is for all the marbles.

I'm getting ready to run back on the court and make an awesome comeback. I am starting my weight log over again. I lost one pound in the month of June. Not exactly what I wanted, but in July I will make up for my shortcomings. Month by month, week by week, day by day. take it slow, but keep up your pace. It's just food. and it's only an hour of your time.

Almost Half Time
Jun 23 2009 17:06

Well this year is turning out to be very not good. In additions to personal issues at home with the finances and such, I have not been able to lose weight! Yeah, maybe its not that important given the other things going on, but I feel like I have control over this and still cannot seem to get things rolling. I have to buckle down for, let's say 2 weeks, no drinking, counting calories, to get me back to where I want to be. Weight loss is not everything, but to me it's very important. I have to be hard on myself because I learn that way lol. This week the problem has been no exercise, but tomorrow I am going for sure! The year is almost at the mid point and although I have not lost weight since March, I have not gained it all back and can keep that I suppose.

I want my tattoo next year and need to work to lose a good amount of weight so I can feel comfortable. I'm not gonna throw out numbers. I feel when i do I only end up disappointed. I will take this week to week. I'll make weekly goals and only after achieveing those will I make more goals. I tend to look too forward, and my calculations are always skewed. I probably won't lose 2 lbs a week for 15 weeks. Just concentrate on the present, live in the present. I am stuck on the future, when I will love my body, but is not how I should live. Live with the future in mind, but I need to stop putting my life on hold because of what the future may hold. Why can't I enjoy my body now? These are issues you have to deal with and idk how to make them better, but you need to really reflect the life you want now, not the life you want in 6 months.

So for now, this weekend, no drinking. Why? Because of calories. That will show yourself and others that you are serious. That does not mean no alcohol ever again, but not this weekend. You can have fun other ways that do not involve excess calories. All you need is music and people.

A good note, you stopped biting your nails for about a week. That's good. Manicure in 2 weeks?? Stay on it. Just think like you used to, about everything you put in your mouth. Write it! You can eat it, just need to log it. We're back. We have to be.

April Showers, May Flowers
May 05 2009 12:44

Idk if that's how the expression goes...anyways, so I had a rough April, no weight loss at all! The entire month, absolute madness. But I managed to maintain my weight, so no gain either, so that's good I guess. May just started and idk if it's the fact that graduation is a little over a month away, or just because it is a new month, but I feel this great motivation once again. For the first time since before my cruise I am under 240 (239.4 this morning!) and I feel like I could go like this forever. I am working out and paying very close attention to what I eat. I basically have the same mind set I did back in March before my cruise. I want to get under 230 for graduation, we shall see, but for now I am setting mini-goals to help me get there. I have hit the gym and feel realy good. My mile time is at an all-time low (9:15) and I feel great. Haha, how many time have I said that. I am not making excuses and getting it done. I am trying to change the level at which I put food and trying to see it for what it is: sustinence. I don't know how long this mentality will last, for long I hope, but right now that I feel this way, I want to take advantage and lose as much weight as I can. I want to slower go away from certain food, hopefully one day completely abandoning fast food and eating less meat. These are long-term goals that will not be realized anytime soon, but they are my ultimate goals. For now, I need to get to 239 by Friday, which will leave me with 5 weeks to love more than 9 pounds. I know I can do this! Good lulck ladies, and may you May be better than my April lol

March Madness
Mar 02 2009 13:00

March is here!

That means my cruise is close!

I am looking forward to having a kick ass March, I want to lose 6-8 pounds this month, even after my cruise, so that means for these next 3 weeks I have to pump it out hardcore. I am so ready for this. I feel like I am mentally motivated and I feel like my body is conditioned. At the gym, I find myself doing cardio at a higher intensity and it just makes me feel so good. I ran this weekend and I just felt so good. There is something about going outside and running, it shows other people that you are health conscious, but also feeling the air and sun, there is just no substitute. The gym is like a factory, but being outside connects one with the environment. I just felt good, hopefully I can run outside more now.

I measured myself last week, and I see some inches coming off. Inches take so long to catch up to weight loss, but I am happy they are coming off, even if it is slowly. This month is gonna be great!

Brighter February
Feb 11 2009 12:06

So today I realized that I CAN lose weight in February. After a few days of intense workouts, being very conscious of what I ate and just overall less stress, I weigh in at an all-time low of 244!

This is monumental. Seriously, the 240s are zooming, and it feels so good! I think I can make it to my goal weight for my cruise. I really really do! I feel more attractive and can't even imagine getting to the 230s. OMG, this is absolutely awesome. Slow and steady.

When I go to Jala in August, they are going to be shocked! They have not seen me since I was 280+. jesus, thats going to be awesome. I want to be around 220 at that time. But we shall see what happens. I cannot have down time, I have to keep it up, keep the motivation up and just remember my goals.

I live for these awesome moments, and I know that there is rain in the future but for today I want to be happy with myself because I did something I have been wanting to do. Way to go. I should look back at this when I am facing adversity and remember how good this made me feel. You CAN do this, you HAVE done this and even when you feel backed up in a corner and like you can't do anything, remember that you have. Love you!

February Slump
Feb 05 2009 18:17

It must be February because I feel like I am in a slump! This happened last February too. January was awesome, i kicked major butt, but so far february has not been great. I just wanted to write myself a not letting myself know its not February, its me. I've been doing great for 4 weeks and I guess my initial motivation has drained, and now I have to get to that extra tank of gas to get this thing moving. As of right now, my 235 goal for March 21 is slipping away. But I will maintain it, I could have an awesome week sometime soon, but in order for that to happen, I need to step my game up. Especially knowing how last year went, come on babe, you know what you have to do! Period is coming soon, but I have managed to lose or at least maintain while on it, so that is no excuse. I feel like everything kind of ganged up on me, school and such, that I took a few days off. But not really...I know its my eating habits that are killing me. I do fine throughout the day, but I ate out Wednesday when I camped out for the game, and have not been counting my calories for dinner. I ate a tri tip sandwich yesterday at the BBALL game, so I've made some bad choices. Still under 250, weighed today at 248, but I was at 245.8 last week and I want to get back down there asap! That is my all-time low. I just need to remember what I want and remember my cruise is coming! Bathsuit! I also want to move down in jeans, omg, next is a 13/14, freaking crazy! Not since middle school, I am not even lying. And another thing I want to to not have that fat from your bra, I guess its too tight , but I want that gone, that ugly back fat. Come on, you got this. Ok so by next week I need to be back down to 245.8 at least. I hope that since I gained it fast, it'll go away fast, we'll see. I need to make sure I put in what I eat since I am not as motivated as before. Also, I need to get back into gym mode, and tear it up! I have to check in more often as well, need all the support I can get, and also to just see where I am at. It's on again!

Going strong
Jan 28 2009 12:21

So after having a crappy weekend as far as consumption, I managed to reach my goal weight of the week, well actually I was 0.3 pounds below, so its a little breathing room (very little). I am so happy I managed to get down to 245.8, I remember being stuck in the 250s and these 240s seems to be zooming by. I am not complaining at all, I don't necessarily have a strong attachment to them lol. So next week I have to get to 244.1 if I am to stay on track to my 235 goal by my sail date, 3/21. I worked out hard the last 2 days and ate about 1300 calories both days, but I think I was good about getting my protein and all the other stuff I need. I want to incorporate more fiber, but idk what to eat. I was thinking of getting FiberOne, I am a sucker for advertisement lol Or I was thinking of going hardcore and haveing nasty bran flakes...uuughh. I keep telling myself its short term, the restrictiveness, because it is, but I realize after my cruise is Easter, after Easter is my birthday and then Mexico in August! I seem pretty booked this year, which makes me happy because I should retain my motivation for a while.

I think last year I did not have much motivation after Vegas (July), so the latter part of the year I just cruised, so I want to stay motivated as long as possible so I can milk this year and hopefully look like a new person next year. I have lost since January 3, 2009 (SW: 256.2) 10.4 pounds! (CW: 245.8) That's insane! If February is as good as this month (which I am not necessarily counting on), I will definitely reach my goal for my cruise. Life is beautiful lol. SUPER BOWL this weekend, means hot wings! I watched the Biggest Loser yesterday and I think I might take chicken breasts instead of wings, and make skewers and marinate it in a buffalo sauce. Keep the same flavors, but go a little healthier. I have to try healthier alternatives when I can, and I do not want to sabotage myself this Sunday, I know its so not worth it.