shizzigirl's Journal

Day 468: screwed psyche

Nov 24 2009 13:55

I'm feeling better, eating a little bit better but for some reason haven't made it to the gym. I've been trying to go since Friday but I keep putting it off... I weighed in at 228 which is 13lbs up from my low and 2lbs down from Sunday morning's water weight horror. I may not make it to the gym before Sunday just due to my T-day schedule/dress fitting for my friend's wedding but I will get back soon. I can do this!!!!

School rant - my BIO 102 class is HARD. I've been studying my ass off and have basically a 90%. Last night I basically failed an assignment worth 3.3% of my grade because of the GROUP I was assingned to. I hate group work with a vengeance. I have never NOT been screwed with group work. The lowest grade I've received on anything in this class is an 85% and now because of the effing group I worked with my average is dropped and basically I need an 89% on the final in order to get an A. I worked my butt off at the beginnnig of the semester so I would NOT be in this situation but here I am struggling because I got stuck with some kid who literally told me he "didn't care". I refuse to not care. I'm going to buckle down and GET my A.

New 466: Kelly's Back!

Nov 22 2009 22:02

I KNEW you'd come back to me eventually!!!

Welcome home lovie. I start gym/counting (seriously) tomorrow, yay!

Day 460: Moooooooonday

Nov 16 2009 09:00

I am weighing in at 227 this morning which is where I've been since mid June. which is 13lbs down from Jan 1 2009... On the plus side I am down for the year but not nearly where I should be.

I'm going to Vegas in March and will be a bridesmaid in May so it's time to tighten up.

I had a great weekend. I went to Atlantic City for a friend's birthday and had a so much fun. It made me totally ready for Vegas in March. I love that in the same place your group (of 11) can be at the tables, slot machines, dancing or holding up a bar and you're still "together". I don't gamble so my friend's brother's boyfriend and me spent the whole night dancing together. You HAVE to love gay men if for nothing else but their willingness to JUST DANCE. At one point I asked him if we should go look for everyone else and he was like "nope, they know where to find us if they need us" and kept right on dancing.

Btw - I dreamed about the ex love of my life last night. Very strange. Not sure exactly how I feel about that...

Day 450: put up or shut up

Nov 06 2009 09:18

I can not work out because my knee barely lets me shift gears while driving. Plans to see a doctor about that next week.

What this means: I have to count every effing calorie that goes near my mouth and in general have better control. As far as exercise goes, I'm looking at my gym class schedule and will start picking up pilates/yoga/ab classes so I am at least toning. Reminder:

Recap from September 2008 - Reasons I'm doing this:

1. I'm tired of being fat.

2. I'm not saying I used to be the #1 hottest chick around but I DID always have a steady flow of guys, which after gaining 60lbs in 2 years has trickled to a stop...

3. To be healthier...

4. Because I can. I have it in my power to lose weight. At my thinnest I was 220 and a size 14 - I can do that again and better and I will.

cw - 264.75

mini gw - 263 by Sep 5

gw - 200

Day 447: my job/what I'm up against

Nov 03 2009 14:31

This morning our title company brought in fruit and donuts, an agent brought in a cookie bar and brownie tray that she just HAPPENED to bake last night for the heck of it and our lender brought in a chocolate birthday cake. All of that was just hanging out in the kitchen. When I went in the kitchen just now the only thing left was 1 cookie bar and about 1/2 the cake. We do NOT have that many people in this office so I did what I thought was the right thing for the sake of EVERYONE: I threw the second 1/2 of the cake away. WTF PEOPLE!

Day 446 - ROUGH weekend but

Nov 02 2009 09:48

I'm weighing in at 226 which is a good 3-4lbs than the last few Mondays so I'll take it!

Friday - went out with my friend who's home from NYC. Had several drinks but no late night junk food!

Saturday - my best friend's birthday outing. We started with Mexican for dinner including Margaritas. From there we bar hopped to 4 different places. At 2am my friend Jenny and I decided to go with a group of guys (strangers) to a bar in DC bc the bars are still open AND recognized the time change. Long crazy night but again NO LATE NIGHT EATING!

Sunday - IHOP for Lizzie's birthday in the AM. I ordered eggs, bacon and toast - NO PANCAKES! Dinner with my mom (mashed potatoes and 2 chicken wings) and then ended up at a hooka bar. There I had GREAT hummus and some baklava.

Still no gym, maybe tomorrow. Here's to seeing 224 on the scale Saturday morning!

Day 442: whew

Oct 29 2009 10:37

Strained my knee on Saturday and haven't really worked out since then. I did 30 poor minutes on the elliptical on Monday and then decided to just lay off. Starting to feel much better so I'm hoping that by this weekend I'll be back to the gym.

On the plus side, I'm eating much better since I don't have the wiggle room. I'm also in a pair of skinny leg size 12 pants. When I bought these pants 2 months ago the cut was so slim they just didn't look so good. Today I'm wearing them with my biker boots and feel AWESOME!

Today is PAAAAAAAAAYDAY!!!! I need a pair of gray pants and some black booties.

Also, I got an A on my BIO midterm - this whole studying thing actually WORKS!!!!

Day 439 - weekends

Oct 26 2009 09:23

I LOVE the weekends but I don't love my lack of control. Sunday morning I weighed 226lbs, then I went to early service (7:45), played with the fire department - it was First Responders appreciation day and I got to ride in a fire truck, hung out with my best church friend who's home from NYC, then went to visit 2 "sick and shut in" members all before noon at which point I was STARVING and so the buffet SOUNDED like a good idea... 3lbs of bloat later I now realize it was not a good idea. I have to tighten up! Here's to seeing 225 on the scale this Saturday morning.

Day 438: in love with myself

Oct 24 2009 20:24

Last week I went to the gym 5 days in a row, this week I went 5 out of 7 days. I think I finally have my gym mojo back! Tonight at the gym it was me and like 6 other people...it was like we had an understanding.

Last night I went to an 80s cover band show for my friend's birthday and it was great. Something I noticed: MOST of the girls there were wearing leggings and MOST of the girls there had something covering their butts and MOST of these girls were much smaller than me. I wore my leggings with a tshirt that came to my waist. At first I was uncomfortable but quickly decided "eff it". I have worked so hard for so long that I refuse to not love my body. I refuse to nitpick and not wear something that I actually look perfectly fine in. Am I ready for a bikini? hell no. But I am okay in things that show my assets off. If/when I get down to my goal weight I refuse to not be happy with my body.

I love me.

Day 432: takin it easy...

Oct 18 2009 21:21

So the gameplan is very simple...hardcore workouts, watching what I eat and laying off the scale.

Yes I can.