singing_girl's Friends

Yay for Fridays! Yay for this one being here!!

I am in an especially good mood because I talked to Joel last night and he is not only going to come here next weekend so we can both go to the Festivus party, he is also going to bring his car. That means stocking up on heavy/ bulky grocery items, tp, kitty litter, maybe a little space heater for my freezingcold cubicle, the list goes on...AND he can bring over all the stuff i have accumulated at his place, like the sale chciken broth litres my sister bought for me, the large Calphalon frying pan I bought at the outlet, a big bag of quinoa from Costco, and more...so yeah it will be good. And maybe we can go for a drive to see all the pretty xmas lights...I am excited! A party AND a car next weekend!

In preparation for the Feats of Strength, I challenged my coworkers to arm wrestle lol.....I need some practice! I kicked M's ass, as I knew I would, but T. beat me on the right arm, not without a struggle though. And then I beat her at left, as I am left-handed. I hope they do left at the party. T looks quite strong and says she can beat some men at it.....so I think I did pretty good...in competition shape!

And I have decided to make biscotti to hand out as xmas presents to people at work. I work with a bunch of community corrections people on certain projects that I coordinate, and I really like the POs I work with...so I am going to make up a bunch of biscotti and send them through inter-office mail. Plus some for people in my office too. I chose that because it's a hardier kind of treat that will withstand the travel, not get stale quickly, and is low-fat. This project is rather ambitious though.....there are 9 offices and prisons to send to, and like 8 or 9 people that will be around the office next week. If I wait until the following week it will be a ghost town....so I might do that lol...anyway we'll see how much of that gets done. I'll call it Project Biscotti.

I head to the mainland at 3 today, just 4 more hours to go. Cold is almost all gone, weekend ahead and a great next weekend to plan, biscotti to make, cement mixer to paint purple, and sunshine in the forecast. Life is good!

I have a "Love-Hate" relationship with zucchini. I know, I know, I problaby shouldn't anthropomorphize my vegetables, but I do (if, for no other reason, than to have the chance to write anthropomorphize!) Anyway, I had some fresh zucchini for lunch with some garlic, chili and lime sprinkled on top, and it really wasn't all THAT bad. Anyway, what I love about it is the fact that it's very healthy -- lots of vitamins, good fiber, very good for you, and low calorie. And it can be reasonably priced, as fresh veggies go, even in the winter. But what I hate about zucchini is that it's just sort of THERE. It doesn't really have much happy flavor by itself, and it's hard to get excited about eating a whole bunch of it (unless it's been sauteed in oil or butter or has melted cheese on it!) Anyway, my lunchtime zucchini today was fine, thanks to the garlic, the chili, and the lime -- you'd hardly know it was zucchini I was eating, LOL!

Anyway, "Operation Eat More Veggies" is proceeding nicely at Casa Mollymouser.

Uh oh. I manage to sit on McIntosh this morning in the process of sitting on my bed to put my shoes on. We hadn't made the bed yet, so I didn't notice that small cat-shaped lump under the covers. Oops. He complained loudly (and I think I just partially sat on him), but still! Too much cat-induced excitement too early in the morning. Sorry, Mac ... maybe you could sleep on top of the covers like the rest of the kitties?

I've been meal planning and pondering dinner ... tonight will be corned beef and cabbage with the last of the acorn squash. Oh, and some puffed Kamut cereal for dessert! (Kamut is this nifty high protein grain, by the way!) Yes, I'm weird ... but I do like cereal for dessert sometimes.

I didn't rake leaves yet, today .... the gardeners are coming tomorrow and I was thinking, "what's the point?" Hmm... maybe I will go out front and SHAKE the trees so more leaves fall for THEM to pick up?

On the road to recovery, yay! I ~almost~ biked to work today but in the end decided not to push my luck. I compromised and brought my gym shoes in case I want to walk home. I walked about halfway home yesterday before wearing out. I am feeling SO sedentary with all this laying about business. I hope to feel well enough to hit the gym on Saturday while Joel is at work. I have just over a week to cram in some muscle-building before Festivus! You see, next week my friend S. is having a Festivus party to which I am invited. That's right, I am going to ANOTHER party, look at me Miss Social Butterfly. Apparently Joel and I were such a huge hit at her last one that we now have made it onto The List, hehe. People like me, they really like me! Anyhoo I have been looking forward to Festivus since I was invited and it's almost here. I have been doing a lot of smack-talking about totally clobbering everyone in the Feats of Strength, aka arm wrestling. I know I can take down lots of the women there, they are all little frail girly -girls muah haha....but S. may pose a challenge, as she has been doing pee-pushups a lot longer than me (she's the one who gave me the idea). And I have no one to practice on...Joel is so far beyond me in strength that it's no contest at all, which is totally unfair since I am working at it and he does NOTHING. His legs look like runners' legs but he hasn't run since freakin high school. Funny. Anyway I don't think it would go over very well if I challenged my coworkers to arm wrestle, so I guess I will be going in cold. I am really excited about Festivus! The women (and some of the men!) in this crowd are real fashionistas though, I need a great outfit and since I have sworn off shopping for a whole year to pay my taxes (OMG), I have to find this fabulous outfit from my closet. Eeps. Also I said I would bring something, so am trying to come up with something that is a perfect balance of party-friendly, yummy, and shockingly low-cal considering how delicious it is. Sweet or savoury? What to make?? I dunno.

Today I did something silly. Well actually I did it on Monday and realized it today. When I went grocery shopping I bought some canned soup. What the heck was I thinking? It was on sale and looked good, it was a new line of Primo soups, I got Sicilian Meatball and Chicken Pomodoro. I brought half a can of the meatball one for lunch today. Ick. Well not exactly ick, more like ho hum. Nothing like MY soups, I can make something WAY tastier and preservative-free and better calorie bang per buck, so why did I buy them? Momentary lapse in judgement. I hate wasting food, but I am so not eating the rest. I refuse! Hopefully we'll have a food drive at work I can donate them to. Must remember: do NOT buy canned soup no matter how good it looks.

I asked my sisters to make me up a stocking for xmas, since my parents are already gone and they are the ones who usually make them up for us (yeah it's sad, I am 38 and still get a stocking, I didn't know it mattered but I realize now I really still WANT one). One said no problem, the other said it's too late because they leave soon too. So we'll see. This weekend will likely be the last time I see either of them before xmas. I could ask Joel, but I think it would just stress him out, presents kind of make him freak out a bit. He hates giving them, he hates receiving them even more. To him a perfect xmas would be present-free. And it's not because he's cheap, he buys me stuff all the time (though less so now that we are both trying to avoid bankrupcy), he just hates the pressure of trying to come up with the right gift and feeling inadequate for not spending enough money etc.

And speaking of gifts. Joel's roommate approached me again with the ipod plan. He was going to get J a new ipod for his b-day last July, I was a bit put out because A. it's an expensive gift that will make Joel feel bad and B. it would be replacing the ipod I got him last year that is still perfectly functional, just has smaller storage. Well he never got it, but wants to get it for xmas now, and asked me about it to make sure I wasn't getting that. Um no. I said bluntly "no it's much too expensive". But then I felt bad for making him uncomfortable and said "I've been thinking about getting him the Beatles box set, cuz I know he really wants it, but it's also pretty expensive so if I get anything that much it will be the box set". I really do want to get J the box set, but it's nearly $250. I can force that into my budget because I am not buying for anyone else this year, except my nephew and he won't cost too much. I am getting a cement mixer and painting it purple, because that's what he wants, he's mentioned it to me several times including in a dictated email he sent from his dad's iphone (he's 3, so that was incredibly cute. I believe the subject line was Airplane, for no particular reason OH SO CUTE). I am wandering off track here....my point is, I am unsure if I should get J the box set he wants. I don't want to make him feel bad that I spent that much money on him, especially compounding K's also expensive ipod gift. I want to get it for him, but not sure he'd want me to. And I certainly don't want to make him feel bad for not spending as much on me. So I am stuck. I have no other brilliant ideas of what to get him. Well, if I don't get him it, at least I won't be subjected to all that Beatles-listening. I am not keen on them.

Oh it's so cold here. It was -18 degrees this morning. And it was -14 when I got home yesterday so I made the perfect warming dinner: the Ethiopian Sweet Potato Stew AND the Pumpkin Pie Rice Pudding I had previously posted.

The stew was really good. I recommend it. Nicely spiced and satisfying. I'd suggest making this one on a lazy Sunday, when you don't mind waiting to eat while food simmers. The recipe recommends letting it simmer for a minimum of 30 mins but I let this sit for 45 mins and that was better. It's a little low in protein (~12 g per serving... 350 cals) so you might want to add something on the side. You could probably throw some cooked tofu or tempeh in too.

And the pudding... wow. It took over an hour to make because there are many steps (And I actually saved some time because I had cooked brown rice in my fridge). The first one step was to make the spiced pumpkin puree. It's a combo of pumpkin, maple syrup & spices, heated on the stove until it thickens. Guess what? That's how you make pumpkin butter! I could have stopped right there and had a cup of pumpkin butter than cost less than $2. But of course, I continued on with the recipe and 60 mins later, I was eating the pudding. And it was YUM. I halved the recipe and got 4 decent sized portions. When it's topped with the toasted pine nut/walnut/raisin mix, it's perfect. Also Recommended!

As for my workout yesterday, I didn't do it solo; another girl was there too. This was a good thing because yesterday's workout was HARD. I'm feeling it today.

The Zoo lunch was fine but it just hammered home even more how I need to leave this job and go into a different field. I wrote a big, rambling blog in my other journal just to vent my frustration so I'm spare you the details. The moronic people combined with the company's "New Vision" to change our office into open concept (i.e.: we're all in cubicles) is the final straw in this meaningless job (I've also been reading "Julie & Julia" and it's inspiring me more than ever).

Anyway! No more of that. I'll write more when I figure out where I'm going. It's early and I need to pour my coffee! 

BREAKFAST

• one cup of Fiber One cereal
• one cup of unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze
• one slice of toasted Flax Seed sprouted bread
• one-half cup of low fat cottage cheese

LUNCH

• Trader Joe's spicy ranchero egg white salad
• one-half apple
• three servings of fresh zucchini
• one cup of cherry tomatoes
• Flatbread with three slices of lean turkey and one slice cheese

DINNER

• one-half cinnamon roasted acorn squash
• two servings of fresh cabbage
• Harris Ranch lean corned beef
• one cup Nature's Path Kamut cereal (dessert)
• one cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze

SNACKS

• six hardboiled egg whites
• two cups of radishes
• one medium, peeled cucumber, sliced (with spritz)
• five slices of fat free turkey bologna

TOTALS FOR THE DAY

• TOTAL CALORIES: 1498
• TOTAL NET CARBS: 121
• GRAMS OF FIBER: 64
• VEGGIE/FRUIT SERVINGS: 11

I am feeling like a big whiner, so I titled this entry something nice and positive to pull you all in . Ha! It's really just another sad boring whiny post.

I am still SICK and came to work so feel double ick. I just counld't imagine taking three sick days in a row. The gods were telling me to stay home though...this morning the bus didn't come, then the next bus 20 minutes later was so full it drove right by my stop, with about 8 people standing at it with me, everyone was hopping mad. I laughed. What else can you do? So we'd been standing there freezing our buns off for over half an hour before a bus finally stopped for us. Brutal.

I feel fairly useless today. My head aches, my sinuses are totally clogged, and if being sick isn't enough I've also got some KILLER cramps. I want to crawl under a rock and die. Not very conducive to getting work done.

My first of the month weigh-in was....both good and bad. Bad, because I did not shed the 2.5 lb gain from last month, but good because I didn't gain more. Only because being sick made me lose a few, I am sure, I was sitting higher last week. So being sick is good for something. I really gotta get back into the loss-mode.

In addition to all my woes, I have two other things to bitch about. One, is that I think it's horrible that they allow Big Mac ads on CC. I know it's all run by About. com so CC has no control, that's the usual defense, well WHATEVER I am quite sure they are targeting the weight-loss supplements, self-improvement aids, and now cruelly FAST FOOD specifically to CC. It's shameful and mean.

And two, this is a bit of a personal rant about a certain group on here I joined way back. This group presents itself as being ever so supportive and inclusive (as long as you fit their criteria), but really they are cliquey and I have not gotten a word of support from them. If you are not a part of their inner group, they pretty much ignore you. It reminds me of high school, which is sad because these are people who likely know what it feels like to be ostrasized and seem to be getting a kick out of forming their own clique now. Whatever. I give up on them, I am no longer posting my monthly weigh-ins so they can go ahead and kick me out. I have gotten WAY more support here from you guys than I ever did there, that's for darn sure. So screw em.

Ok I think I done being bitter. Going to go have lunch, maybe that will improve my mood lol.

Hello Fiber One, I've missed you. I wish I could say that I've missed your sweet crunchy breakfasty goodness, but that would be stretching the truth a bit. (And trust me, I know stretch marks!)  But I did miss your healthiness, and your fiber, and your nutty brown color reminiscent of freeze dried bits of petrified cardboard. And I must say that I appreciate your shelf life, as well.  But I dug around in the back of the pantry this morning and there you were, hiding behind the crackers and canned green beans, yearning to be free and part of a healthy breakfast. Well, Fiber One, now you can proudly proclaim to the rest of your fellow pantry mates, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, she's eating me again!"

Something else wonderful has occurred during my hiatus from healthy eating: Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Breeze is now available in a refrigerated, economy size. I picked some up at the grocery store this morning because it had a $1.00 off coupon, bringing that $3.99 price down to $2.99. This will (hopefully) serve to encourage me to have some tasty crunchy fiberlicious Fiber One every morning as part of my new lease on life.

Anyway, breakfast for me consisted one full cup of Fiber One cereal (that's 29 grams of fiber and 120 calories, for those of you who are checking), along with one full cup of unsweetened Vanilla Almond Breeze (40 calories).  Now I must go and forage in the fridge for some lean protein to go along with that so I will be properly balanced.

Looking toward lunch and my need to use up some pre-existing vegetable visitors to Casa Molly, I will be having (brace yourselves) ... three servings of cooked spinach (yep, a whole 6 oz bag) and three servings of asparags. Oh, and some egg white salad from Trader Joes and a half cup of low fat cottage cheese. So ... that will put me at 6 servings of veggies by the end of lunchtime, and probably as much fiber for today that my poor colon can handle, LOL.

The Ultimate Breakfast Cookie... full meal on one plate (390 cals, 20.5 g protein):

• 1/2 c rolled oats
• 1/2 of a large banana, mashed
• 3/4 scoop vanilla protein powder
• 1 tbsp Greens+ powder
• 1 tbsp almond butter
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1-2 tbsp unsweetened vanilla almond milk

Mix all ingredients (except for the almond milk) until well combined. If it looks dry, add a drop of almond milk. Spread the mixture onto a small plate, cover with wax paper & refridgerate overnight. In the morning, microwave for 20-30 seconds. Eat it!

I bought plain Greens+ instead of my usual watermelon flavoured and I'm not crazy about it. So how am I going to use 6 weeks worth of Greens+? In a Breakfast Cookie! I'm not gonna lie... it looks unappetizing. It's algae green. But it tastes really quite good... like a chewy granola bar! And it's a source of protein, carbs, fats & greens in one! I'm in love.

Oh! I got the new Clean Eating AND Vegetarian Times magazines in the mail yesterday! That's always very exciting. I bookmarked maybe 10 CE recipes. I was a little disappointed with VT and I'm not sure if I'll make anything from this issue. I bookmarked 3 or 4 pages but there was no WOW recipes.

I'm missing my Bootcamp class at my gym today because I have to go to a work lunch. It won't be too bad... it's at the Zoo, the food is good (we went there last year) and we get the afternoon off. Since I'm missing the gym, I scheduled a session at Fresh for 3:00. I'm going to be the only one in that class so I'm scared for what my trainer will plan!

Since I have the afternoon off, I'll be home early so I'm thinking of making that Ethiopian Sweet Potato Stew and/or the Pumpkin Rice Pudding I posted a few entries ago. To be continued tomorrow... I'm off!

 HOW DID I GET SO FAT (AGAIN?)

OK, I've learned a valuable lesson. If you bust your butt counting calories and dieting for a year, and lose a whole pile of weight .... and then take a year off from eating properly and calorie counting .... you gain all that lost weight back, and then some. <insert colorful expletive here>

That, unfortunately, is pretty much the sucky truth. Darn Darn Darn Darn.

If I could figure out a way to smack myself upside my head with a big wet smelly dead fish, I'd do so. Not that it would change anything, but I certainly deserve to be soundly fish-thwacked and head-slapped.

So, please forgive me ... I've been a crappy role model and a crappy mentor and a crappy moderator and a crappy dieter. crap crap crap crap. And I am slowly working on forgiving myself, and I hope that you all can forgive me.

So ... what's my plan? Gird my loins and sit through what will no doubt be an impressive lecture from my doctor next Monday Morning (Dec 7) ... who will be quick to point out that my diabetes is now, once again, totally out of control. (sigh) And can I say that I've got a lot more loins to gird these days? And then I need to get back in the saddle and try again. (Hmmm ... do they even make ginormous saddles for backsliders like me?)

I am going to the grocery store to buy healthy stuff. Yep, that means vegetables and lean proteins.

And I'm going to start logging my food and counting my calories.

And I'm going to do my best to tackle this hill, once again. Lord willing, it will stick this time.

crap.

So I am staying home from work for the second day. I can't remember the last time I took two sick days in a row, certainly years and years ago. I just woke up feeling so YUCK, and with cramps on top of this cold, that I decided another one won't hurt. Nothing pressing at work this week anyway.

I had switched my flex day to last Friday, so I have actually been away from work since Thursday..a mini-holiday, if I weren't spending it on the couch feeling like crap! I started getting sniffly right on Friday and it's been downhill ever since. Also on Friday I went to the gym and worked out extra-hard. There were some meatheads in the weight room and they always intimidate me from going in there, but Friday I said SCREW IT and marched myself in there anyway. Let them look, I don't care. I don't know why but at the gym close to Joel's, the meatheads really do watch if you use the weights, it's not just me being paranoid. Anyway I overdid it in an attempt to look tough lol....serves me right. I mean even if they are watching who cares what total strangers think. But I did have the courage to use a new machine, well not really a machine but a bosu ball that's mounted on the back with arm rests/ handles on the side and you mount yourself on it then pull your legs up to your chest?  don't know what it's called but I always wanted to try it, so I did! I did 9 and that was it. And two sets of 25 crunches which I haven't done in a long time....so between the chest press and the ab excercises, I was in sorry shape afterwards. My stomach and armpits were KILLING me all weekend, my tummy still hurts actually (but maybe from coughing now).

We went to Joel's company xmas party on Saturday night. I wasn't feeling very well by then, but didn't want to miss it. I wore my pretty new red dress and felt like I fit in, with all the pretty sparkly dresses there. Dinner was good, but my stomach hurt so I didn't enjoy it as much as I may have. We stayed pretty long, but didn't dance much, the music was crap. Like going to a dance club, hip hop and stuff. We realized we are no longer the target demographic when it comes to music. Sigh.

The rest of the weekend was mostly just laying around feeling sorry for myself. I haven't even showered since Saturday lol....guess I gotta. I got home from Joel's yesterday, and am in desperate need of groceries, the fridge is bare. I think I might walk to the store and take a cab home with the bags. Lame, but I can't face biking or carrying stuff right now. When you are sick, living alone really sucks.