singing_girl's Journal

Blah Day

Nov 09 2009 18:32

I've been feeling pretty down for a couple of days. Not having a job + feeling fat = pretty unhappy Nicole.

I guess I should be enjoying the down time, especially as the telemarketing job was SOOO crap, but I just have the worst tendency to mope when I have nothing to do. It's only been a week... moping already.

In less mopey news: We finally got a satnav! About freaking time. In NZ I never would have bothered, we just don't have enough roads (no, seriously!), but over here it's just so easy to get lost. I'll be using it Wed morning to get to the airport, which is about an hour away. I've only driven there once and even with BF navigating we got hopelessly lost. It was stressful! Not what you want when you have a flight to catch. So yeah, on Wed off to the Netherlands to stay with my friend from Uni who has moved over there. Hopefully won't feel too fat and blimp-like to have a fun time. I know it doesn't pay to dwell on the past, but I just DIDN'T realise how far I had come when I got down to 226lbs. When I get back down there again I'm gonna give myself all the congrats that I didn't last time.

Eatin'

Nov 06 2009 14:41

Yesterday wasn't so great. I was just starvingly hungry for most of the day despite my food choices being the same as other days. I'm guessing I ended up at about 3000 calories for the day (waaaaayyyyy over maintenance) but that's ok. I'll fix it with today's deficit.

Hmph.

November Goals

Nov 04 2009 13:27

Right, I know we're a couple of days into November already but I've decided by the end of the month I want to have ditched 8lbs (though I'll settle for 6!). For some reason my head is just really in the right space at the moment. That hasn't happened in a looooooooong time.

Last night I went into London to see Renee Fleming (I <3 her sooooo much!!!). I managed to get THE LAST ticket that was up for sale! I was at the train station by 5.30pm to find that the stupid train had been cancelled and the next one wasn't until 6.13pm. Major F**K moment. I managed to get to the concert in time but only just, I basically had to sprint from the train to the tube, and then change tube lines, and then sprint from the tube station across a footbridge over the Thames to the Royal Festival Hall in order to pick up my ticket and get to my seat for 7.30pm. Luckily it started a couple of minutes late. But all the hurrying combined with my massive winter coat and heels left me all sweaty and gross. It was not the ideal way to begin a concert, and I felt really sorry for the 2 people sitting either side of me. It just re-iterated my need to lose weight and get fitter. No-one wants to be sweaty at a classical music concert. Weirdest reason to lose weight yet? Perhaps...

Anyway, when I finally get my butt over to the US I am sooo combining it with wherever she is singing. Maybe I can stalk her. I know she has an apartment in NYC.

When you put your mind to it...

Nov 03 2009 13:09

The last week I have been very diligent with counting calories and was rewarded by getting on the scales this morning to see a total loss for the week of 2kg (4.2lbs). Crazy huh?

In other not so great news I got fired yesterday. I am still in shock! I got fired from my crappy stand by job! The job that I lowered myself to do! WTH?!? It was my last month of 'probation,' after 4 months of them passing/failing me each month they decided to fail me. Seriously. I was way too good for that place anyway.

I'm looking at job applications already. Have found a couple of cool sounding jobs, one a music assistant at Shakespeare's Globe Theatre in London and another one working as a tour guide at the Houses of Parliament (lol!). I'm trying to aim for the more music-y jobs though. If i get a job in central London we'll have no option but to move closer. Otherwise the peak time train fares would absolutely kill any money I was earning. Stupid trains.

Anywho, I had a lightbulb moment today. This might sound blatantly obvious - the only person keeping me from being thin is ... ME.

Only 41lbs more until I get back to where I was before I put all this stupid fat back on...

Bremen Freimarkt

Oct 24 2009 22:41

Photos from my recent trip to Germany are here!!! It was sooo much fun and I can't wait to go back!

Oh man, the food over there is so freaking good. Both BF and I were in foody heaven (especially with all the bakeries!). We did loads of walking though, so it all roughly balanced out.

I'm off again in about 3 weeks time, but this time to the Netherlands. I live such a jet set lifestyle (ha!). I'm quite impressed with all the countries I've racked up over the last couple of years. Before that I'd been NOWHERE except NZ/Australia. I love how close I am to Europe now!

Ooh, exciting developent: Should be starting singing lessons again soon with a teacher in London. Thank god. Getting back into regular lessons might help stop me going insane from my awful telemarketing job. And speaking of the job front I am applying for yet another job - this time at the historic Wrest Park which is about a 10 min drive up the road from here. Fingers crossed...

I really should post more often!

Oct 05 2009 14:21

So, what's been going on with me?

Still workin' at my crap telemarketing job.. fun times. I seem to have given up on finding a decent job just at the moment. Actually, I'm waiting to find out if I have passed my second month of 'probation' -- I may or may not have a job by the end of the day.

I'm heading off to Germany in a couple of weeks, just for 2 days. BF and I are going to Bremen for their massive Freimarkt (kind of like Bremen's version of Oktoberfest). Should be good times! I got 2 return flights for £4 (yes - FOUR) in one of those crazy flight deals that you always hear about but never seem to get! Wooohoo!I told them that because I paid for the flights he had to pay for the hotel! LOL!

My friend Crystel was over from the Netherlands this weekend just gone. We went to Uni together and she was living over here until her visa expired, so now she has headed over to the NL as her new boyfriend is Dutch. I caught up with her over the weekend and we had a rowdy night of drinking and dancing in central London with a bunch of Kiwis and Aussies. Fun times! Hopefully I'll be heading over to visit her next month and she is going to show me around! Haven't been over to NL yet so that will be quite exciting! She is living just an hour out of Amsterdam so more than easy enough to get into town and see the sights. :)

Ha - it sounds like I lead such an exciting life, but really I don't.

Now, in terms of weight - I know what to do, so why am I not doing it? I'm down 5kg/11lbs since we got back over to the UK, but that was 3 months ago. That is hideously slow progress. Mostly because I'm mucking around eating crap and not counting religiously every day. Now if I was 150lbs I wouldn't complain about losing that slowly, but at 270 there is really no excuse.

I watched the best (and freakiest) movie the other day. For anyone who doesn't mind subtitles I HIGHLY RECOMMEND "Das Experiment." It is craaaazy. All about the psychology of prisoners/guards in a simulated prison experiment - based on a real experiment conducted at, I think, Stanford University in the 1970s.

Anywho, I really MUST try to post more regularly because support from like-minded people really does help to keep you on track! I still read all of your journals but mostly am too pre-occupied with feeling like a failure and wallowing in self pity (Hello - 2 degrees and telemarketing job) to actually manage to comment. Yeah.. I seriously need to get over that.

General Updates

Sep 04 2009 12:58

Ho Hum. I've been lurking for ages - reading your journals but not bothering to write in my own for the last month or two.

Quick update on life...

Job: For the last 2 months I've been working as a .... TELEMARKETER. 2 freaking degrees and this is all I can get at the moment. I spent the first week of the job crying at how vastly over-qualified I was and how I was reduced to cold calling. Not fun. I still get exceedingly moody if I'm working fulltime so I'm trying to keep it to 3-4 days a week, simply for my sanity. There are a few perks to the job though. 1) The hours are extremely flexible. The roster is done on a week by week basis so it totally suits whatever else you're doing. 2) The pay is freaking amazing for the job. Day rate of £8.18/hour, Evening rate £9.81 and Sunday rate £11.08. To put it in perspective, the minimum wage over here is £5.71. I don't think I'd even drag my ass outta bed for that. So many of the jobs I see advertised at the moment are all around £6.50-7.50 an hour... so the stupid telemarketing has sucked me in with its flexible hours and really decent pay, despite the inherent suckiness of the job itself. I'm still keeping an eye out for proper jobs but I'm getting more and more disillusioned with applying and getting rejected.

Cat: BF and I have decided to adopt a rescue cat. Now we are just waiting for the right kitty cat to come along. We would prefer a maine coon, simply because of their awesomeness!!! I'm on a re-homing list so am getting regular emails with kitties that need homes. We're currently waiting to hear back about a beautiful male cream coloured Coon who is 2 years old.

Weight: I'm still half-heartedly counting calories. I've lost 9lbs since we've been back in the UK (about 11 weeks). Most of that was in the first 6 weeks back. I really need to get my ass into gear again. I'm still 44lbs heavier than I was when I was counting seriously.

and, here's a recipe I made last night for spiced Pumpkin muffins. I got 15 muffins at about 180 calories each. They'd be a lot lower but I added a whole heap of dark chocolate buttons. They are seriously tasty. BF who pulled faces while I was making them has already devoured half the batch. Lol! If that's not a recommendation then I don't know what is!

Nom Nom Nom

Jul 08 2009 14:48

I've been wanting pancakes for days so I made them this morning for brunch. MMMMMMMM! 530 calories of delicious pancakes and maple syrup. It was soo worth it!

The scale has started co-operating again. Sort of...

Funny story: Late yesterday afternoon I blithely sent away my passport and drivers licence to the DVLA. Then I freaked out 'coz I realised I hadn't taken a photocopy of my passport details page and my visa, which I need to send away for an NI number (tax) which I need to start working! I also need a copy of the visa to take to my interview on Friday! Utter panic! Cool, calm and collected BF rang the post office to check if it had been picked up yet. It hadn't. I raced down to the post office, proved I was me, raced to the library with the passport to use their photocopier, then raced back to the post office to put it back and re-seal the envelope. The post office people must have thought I was such a ditzy girl. But, all's well that end's well. PHEW! After all that I had worked up a good appetite for my pancakes!

I found another couple of jobs that I could apply for at the local university. They are mostly educational admin. positions which I think could possibly bore me to tears, but I suppose I shouldn't be picky in this economic situation and just apply for anything and everything.

Oh god, picking up my car yesterday was traumatic! I managed to get lost on the way home, which should have been a fairly straightforward 15 min drive. Hmmm. Apparently not! I pulled over, texted BF and said "I'm at xxx. I'm lost. Help!" I had just enough battery to send that, then my phone turned off and stubbornly refused to turn back on. I ended up having to go knock on a random door and ask the poor guy for directions! And trust me, that's a very UN-british thing to do! I could see the wtf look in his eyes as he opened his door to me! Oh deary me. I think I need to buy a satnav ASAP. I might have been in England for a while, but I certainly don't know my way around. It's gonna take me a good couple of months to get my bearings and to start navigating around all these country roads.

What a crazy couple of days.

PS - CASHBACK SITES! If you don't use one - GOOGLE IT! My car insurance and AA cover that I paid for yesterday cost £266. I'm getting £96 back!!! Amazing huh?

Expeeeeensive!

Jul 07 2009 15:10

The scale is still being mean. Am up almost 2 lbs despite daily deficits. Hopefully I'll see a drop very soon.

I've signed up for the 12th BLC. I'd really like to kick some butt and lose 20lbs in 8 weeks. Given how heavy I am at the moment, it's totally do-able.

Today has been an expensive day. I've paid for car insurance, roadside assistance and the fee to exchange my NZ licence for a UK one. I also have to pay for the car when we pick it up later today. Ouchies. My bank account will have gone from £1600 to about £40 in the space of about 6 hours!

Luckily though I'm attending that induction day on Friday. I'm pretty sure I'll have no trouble getting through that and getting a job with this place. They pay weekly instead of monthly, so fingers crossed I'll have some £££ starting to roll in soon. I can't wait to start earning pounds so I can pay off my student loan. The exchange rate means I get 2.5 NZD for every pound, so I'm motivated to pay it off as soon as possible.

Breakfast: 2x WW toast with nutella/pb, strawberries, grapes and natural yogurt.
Lunch: Pasta with pesto, fromage frais.
Dinner: Probably Taco salad made with taco meat, lettuce, tomato, shredded carrot and cheese, salsa and a couple of crumbled tortilla chips.

Musings

Jul 06 2009 10:58

Hmm so car stuff here in the UK sure is different to back at home. At home my '94 Nissan has had AA cover since I got it with no trouble. Here, AA and RAC won't cover your car for roadside assistance unless it's less than 10 years old. UH-OH I bought a '99. LUCKILY it was first registered on 30th JULY '99. TEHEHE. Technically, less than 10 years old by about 3 1/2 weeks. *evil laughter* Not quite sure what I'll do after that... but we can cross that bridge when we come to it.

Insurance wise, its soooo much more expensive than home as well. Through a great UK cashback site I've managed to find the cheapest quote I've found WITH a £75 cashback! Woohoo! That will take my comp. cover down to £150 for the year which is awesome. Even without the cash back they were cheapest by far, so I'm quite happy. It's an ethically led company as well, which I like :)

Oh, also need to take a trip to the Post Office to send away for my British licence. I just have to send them £50 and my NZ licence and they'll send me a British licence. I was totally worried they were going to issue its date as being 2009 so I rang the DVLA and they actually put the NZ issue date on it which is 2003. THANK GOD. Otherwise I'd look like a brand new driver and my insurance would sky rocket to £1000 which is what BF's little brother who is a new driver just paid. OUCH.

So yes, lots of stuff to sort out, and I haven't even picked the car up yet. Hopefully will do that tomorrow.

Tonight I'm heading into London to see La traviata again. I went last week with BF and afterwards even got to meet Renee Fleming and got her autograph and a photo taken with her. I was soo totally starstruck it was quite embarrassing. She is one of my 2 biggest singing idols! She's also pretty much the most famous soprano singing today. I have the hugest girl crush on her... which is kinda weird coz she's the same age as my mum. Lol.

Anyways, scale has stopped being kind to me. I knew it was bound to happen sooner or later. I was starving yesterday and ate more than I have been, just scraping in with a 200 cal deficit for the day. As predicted the scale was UP UP UP. I shoulda gone with my instinct and not weighed. Grrr. I know it's not a real gain, but it's still annoying.

Ummm what else? Just had a whole heap of groceries delivered - hopefully for what will be the last time!!! Got a load of yummy fruit like cherries, strawberries, plums, bananas and a watermelon. I absolutely <3 watermelon. I have also been craving pesto for the longest time so I got the most expensive freshly made basil pesto the store had. I am DEFINITELY looking forward to that! Since I'm out tonight I think I'll cook up some pasta for lunch to indulge my pesto passion.

I have a telephone interview for a stupid telemarketing company today. It would very much be a temporary job while I'm looking for a proper one! I'm also applying for a database admin. position with the local county council. It pays really well and it's definitely something I could do. I'm trying to sell myself hard on the application form. It's a no CV app. so everything has to be on their form - and it's sooo freaking long, like 10 pages. I'm also keeping an eye out for other tech support roles. Now that I've bought a car I can definitely start casting my net a lot wider.

Right, this is long enough so I'll leave it there.

Edit: I aced the phone interview and they want me to come to an 'induction day' on Friday. Then after that if they like you, you can start on Monday. BF made a very good point that this is the PERFECT job to have while looking for another job because the shifts don't start til 12.30pm, so my mornings will be completely free for job interviews, should they come up.

Also, I bought some quinoa for the very first time today. I am quite excited to try it as I've heard so many people rave about it. Does anyone have any yummy ideas of what to do with it?