skippee's Journal

Wow.. my epiphany..
Sep 11 2008 10:49

I am so elated right now. I just feel so good and free.
Its going to sound so stupid when I say this, because obviously its something all of you on here know very well and basically the whole concept of the site.

IF I EAT HEALTHY AND EXERCISE I WILL LOSE WEIGHT AND LOOK GOOD.

I know what you're thinking. 'No way! Holy sheet Skip!! Really?!'. I know I know. Duh. But it really just hit me. All it took was one article on CC.
You see I used to be one of those 'eat anything she wants and stays skinny' girls. Then I turned into a 'skinny but complains and thinks shes fat' girl. Don't you hate that?
And theres a big event this weekend and I wanted to look good for it but I had left it right till the last minute to prepare, like 3 weeks ago. So I decided 'I just wont eat.' Easyyyy. The weight should drop off and I will look great. So thats what I did. For the last 3 weeks I have been eating a mouthful for breakfast, nothing during the day and a small meal. And it worked like a charm! For a while. 4kgs I lost. I was stoked. And then one day early this week, my weight started to go back up. I started freaking out and cutting back more and more cals.

Yesterday, I was feeling utterly miserable and hungry at work and was surfing the forums. I noticed this thing called 'starvation mode' that everyone seems to be scared of. I was like what the heck is starvation mode?! So I looked it up.  It Scared. The. Bejeezes. Out of me. In that moment I decided that I:
Did not want to lose muscle.
Did not want to lose my boobs.
Did not want to lose my feminine curves.
Did not want to live my life feeling fatigued and headachey and fuzzy.
Did not want to plateau and stop losing.
Did not want to put my life in danger.
Did not want to develop an eating disorder!!

That was all it took for me. That one little post. I ate a yoghurt and an apple for lunch. It is going to sound so stupid to all of you, because none of you know me and I know there is no sympathy at all out there for girls like me who are thin but are trying to get thinner. But that moment honestly changed me. I believe forever. I decided I am now going to concentrate on my working out, getting toned and fuelling my body with all the nutrients it needs. It makes so much more sense. I was trying to do it the hard way all along! And yeah, I'm not going to be thin and toned for this weekend but SO WHAT. I look great, and in the long term I am going to look even better.

I am so relieved that I have come to my senses. If anyone is in my position - FIND OUT ABOUT STARVATION MODE!! You're going the wrong way about this. You think you're right but you have to listen to the people around you on this forum, they know what they are talking about. And to the person who brought this to my attention, I cannot thank you enough, you have saved me from myself.