solareclps's Journal

Catching Up...
Oct 11 2009 07:55

It's been a while since I entered my last entry. I've been a bit busy. I'm up to date with most of school work, I just have a ton of reading to catch up on. I'll probably take this week to just hang out before and after school to catch up on it. I've been wondering for the longest what the heck am I going to do for Thanksgiving! I want to go see my nephews, but I'm not sure if I'll be able too...I don't know. I am at another conjecture where I am pioneering again. This get tiresome sometimes. I feel like I always land in a place where everyone knows everyone else (except me!) and I am the odd person out. This is like the third time I am the odd person out!. I've learned a few things from my two prior situations. First I HAVE TO MINGLE! I am usually socially phobic, but I don't want to be standing around alone. So I'll mingle...talk to people get to know people. Hopefully that will help me since I usually tend end up being the stuck the odd person out! This organization does much outreach which I love. I think every person on the planet can help, even if it's in a small way, to make humanity better. I have to say that I can see myself changing. I can see myself growing fully. It always seemed as if the person who I was on outside (that is the person who people knew me to be) and the person who I was on the inside (who I know myself to be) have always been different. I've grown two "persons" but their growth was separated from each other. Recently I've been trying to reconcile the growth of who I am on the inside to who I am on the outside and come to a final evolution of sorts. I feel so good about myself lately. I'm still in a very, very, VERY tight spot with where my future is concerned, however the person who has to live that future I like so much more now. That makes any future I create for myself a better one. I am finally beginning to look forward to that better future....

Solar....