southern_midwife's Journal

Still here...

Jul 31 2009 08:47

Not much new to report but I'm still here. I walked/jogged 3 miles this morning in 47 minutes. I love the fact that I burned more calories in 47 minutes than I did walking the same 3 miles in 60 minutes yesterday. :-)

The other good news is the scale is back down under 150 today (149.2)

Beth

Dealing with Feelings and Journal Therapy

Jul 27 2009 12:05

I've always had a problem with consistency when it comes to my eating habits and exercise. I realized that when I joined CC over a year ago. But I've been getting SO much better and reading over past journals is such good therapy for me. More about that in a minute.

This morning I drug myself out of bed at 6am because I was determined to go walking before the heat took over the day. But honestly the most discouraging thing about walking wasn't the heat or the walk itself but it was the fact that I was beating myself up for letting myself get out of the routine in the first place.

It didn't happen all of a sudden. It rarely does. No, I'm not exactly sure how or when I went from walking (make that jogging and walking combination) 6 miles a day PLUS going to step aerobics 2 times a week and body pump class 1 time a week to only going to the body pump class once a week and occasionally even missing that one class. I know the change didn't happen all of a sudden. It happened slowly. But I was very close to not exercising at all if I had continued down the path I was on.

At first I'd miss a day because I needed to do something else that I could count as exercise. I'd work in the yard or something. Now don't get me wrong, that does count and I know it. But the problem is that I let myself get out of the habit of REGULAR exercise for the sake of exercise. I have other "excuses" too. There are many things in my life right now that demand my time and I have more than average stress. But that's no excuse either because I now know first hand how much better I handle my time and stress when I'm working out regularly.

Well, anyway back to my walk this morning. My IPod was not charged. So I had nothing to occupy my mind except my own thoughts and prayers. That was a good thing as it turned out. It takes me 1 hour to complete my 3 mile walk when I'm just walking. And I'm not up to jogging in my present condition. So that was 1 hour to do nothing but think and pray.

At first I was just blue. I kept thinking about how bad it was that I no longer felt like jogging, that I no longer felt good about being up early, that the humidity and heat were bothering me even though the sun wasn't up. None of these things mattered when I was walking regularly but this morning they bothered me! I kept telling myself that I did NOT want to go back to being fat, ever again. But I was depressed because I felt like I was already headed that direction and depressed because it took such a short time to undo what took me so long to accomplish.

Well, at some point along my walk, I consoled myself by saying "this time last year you weren't in near as good of shape as you are now" and "at least you caught this BEFORE you gained the weight back". I then remembered my journals and decided I would look up to see what was on my mind a year ago today.

When I got home I did just that. And a year ago today I was feeling pretty optimistic and positive about where I was at the time even though I had only lost 20 lbs and at the time thought my goal of 150 lbs was way far away. I also discovered an entry a few days earlier that started out by saying "The most important workout you will ever do is the one you didn't want to do." On that day, about a year ago, I described dragging myself out of bed to face the heat and mosquitoes to walk even when I didn't FEEL like it. And even when I got home I didn't feel all that great but I was still glad I went anyway.

That's the way I felt this morning after my walk. It's funny. I guess there will always be those kind of days when no matter what you do your feelings just sometimes don't cooperate with your goals! At least this morning there were no mosquitoes to face! Thank God! LOL.

This is a lifestyle for sure. There is no magic fix and then you're done! NOPE! But I'm really glad to be on the journey. I'm determined to stick with the lifestyle.

So keep writing your journals. You never know when they will be a blessing to you even if it is a year later. And perhaps you will bless someone else along the way.

Still living the lifestyle,

Beth

Good Day

Jul 25 2009 19:27

First of all it's a good day because of birthdays. Today is my oldest daughter's 35th birthday. Wow, I can't believe it's been 35 years! Also, 4 years ago today I delivered the biggest baby I have delivered so far. Her name is Coco and she weighed 11 lbs 7 oz. :-) Born at home without complication.

This morning I managed to get up early and go to my body pump class at the Y. I have never missed more than one week at a time. I went last Saturday but have not been walking regularly lately. I did go Thursday and plan to keep it up at least 3 times a week. But when I went to class this morning I REALLY could tell I haven't been doing near as much exercise lately as I used to do and it really made a difference in a negative way.

I had to use lighter weights than I did a few weeks ago. And I still felt exhausted. I always feel tired after those workouts but today it was different. I felt like I was weak and could barely keep up.

So, I'm more motivated than ever to get back to walking 3 to 4 times a week. My busy schedule probably won't let me do more than that but I can at least do that.

It looks like my calories will be fine today, too.

I haven't decided whether or not to get up early and walk tomorrow morning. Usually I don't walk on Sunday mornings but since I've missed so much I'm thinking about doing it anyway. The only down side is I'll have to go early enough to get back and shower before going to church. I'll let you know tomorrow what I decided. :-)

Beth

Better

Jul 24 2009 21:55

Today my weight was 149.0 but I woke up late so I was also probably a bit dehydrated.

I slept in. I set my alarm to go walking but didn't. I probably should have but I was so tired. I did much better today on eating though.

Tomorrow is my body pump class at the Y. It will be good to go.

Beth

Why logging is necessary...

Jul 23 2009 19:58

I've been in the car all day because of work. So eating really healthy was more of a challenge. But I know I could have done better.

I had a protien shake and banana for breakfast and that was good.

But then got an egg McMuffin at McDonnalds when my apprentice got something from there on the way out of town. The Egg McMuffin was unnecessary and cost me another 300 calories. Bad!

For lunch we at at Bennagan's and I had a grilled chicken salad and only put a small amount of dressing on it. That was good.

But then I gave into tempation and ordered a bowl of potato soup that looked yummy. Not too bad but it really wasn't necessary. I could have been satisfied without it and it cost me another 250 or so calories.

The way home was the hardest. We didnt' have time to dine in anywhere. So we went through a drive through Whataburger. I got the Jr Burger without bun oil. That's not bad. But then again I gave into temptation and ordered the Medium fries instead of the small fries. A difference of over 100 calories and totally unnecessary.

So it's 8pm and I've already had over 1900 calories but my burn meter for the day is only a little over 1600 unless I go walking. What a bummer! I will walk in the morning for sure but I'm not sure I'll get a walk in tonight. It's been a long day even though I wasn't physically active.

Logging is the only way I would have know I ate more than I burned today and it showed me where I could have cut back. I'm telling you it's the little things that add up. I know this and I've got to stop adding "the little things".

Oh well, I'll do better tomorrow. At least I am logging again. :-)

Beth

Okay... but not great

Jul 22 2009 21:11

Well, I logged everything today and I didn't do terrible. I have a deficite of 200 calories but I still didn't eat the best that I could have. I walked this morning or I know I would have gone over.

Tomorrow I won't be able to walk in the morning because I have to leave town at 6am. I won't be home before dark. So I better eat light tomorrow for sure especially since I'll be driving most of the day.

It's sure nice to see some familiar folks still here on CC. AS much as I love the Nutrimirror website for logging, I still prefer the community here on CC. So I'm going to be logging and journaling here. I need the accountability more than I need the fancy nutrition logs.

I need to go shopping for healthy food to have on hand. My granddaughers were staying with us for a few days and we bought them some ice cream. The left overs were in our freezer. I at a cup tonight. It's hard to throw it out. There is only about half a cup left. So I probably won't throw it out but will finish it off in a day or so. That will be okay as long as I start eating healthy otherwise. There has been too much fast food and "comfort" food lately. I feel so much better when I get my veggies!

I'll check back in tomorrow after work.

Beth

UPDATE: It's 6am and I'm up. Weight is 150.8 this morning which is probably a more accurate weight than yesterday. So it's not as bad as I was afraid of. But I'm still in need of getting things back on track. I'll report more later. I'm about to leave town.

I'm Back...

Jul 22 2009 07:25

This morning I got up early and went walking for the first time in a long time. It reminded me of some of those first walks over a year ago. I'm in much better shape than I was back then and much lighter weight but still it reminded me of what it was like when I first started.

Why? Because it was so hard to get motivated. I had to make myself get out of bed when the alarm went off. I had to make myself go out the door. I kept hoping that I would "feel" better as I walked but really it never quite happened. I could feel how out-of-shape I had let myself get even though my weight has only gone up a little.

Anyway, I made it through the walk and I am glad I went. I would probably feel better about it except it was a bummer realizing how much I have backslid and how quickly the body wants to revert back to being old and lazy.

I've been under a lot of personal stress lately. I know that's no excuse it's just a fact. Anyway, I'm greatful for counting calories and logging exercise because without that I would probably not get back on track as quickly. It would be too easy to ignore the warning signs. But I recoconize them and am determined to correct my course before it gets out of hand.

Journaling is accountability for me. So here goes. My weight this morning was 152.8, the highest it's been in months. My ideal weight fluxuates between 145 and 149. Now some of that 152.8 is water retention because I ate pizza last night. Honestly I pigged out on pizza. I ate a whole Red Barron Pizza by myself. That's 370 calories per serving and I had 4 servings. That's 1480 calories! OUCH that hurts to admit! I didn't look up the calories until after I had eaten it but I knew what I was doing. I just didn't care at the moment. But not even an hour after I finished I felt pretty darn miserable. And I woke up this morning still feeling the effects.

The bad eating habits have been creeping back into my lifestyle for the past few weeks due to stress. I've been eating sweets more often, and mainly I'm not eating as much good stuff like fresh vegetables and fruits. So last night after my pizza binge, I determined I needed to put a stop to the trend. And that meant being accoutable again. So here I am. I don't even know if anyone is still around reading my journals but that doesn't matter. I still need to write.

I've still been going to the Y but have missed too many classes lately. It's been a very busy and stressful summer. Oh well, I don't want to make excuses. Even if it has been busy and stressful, I know that is even more reason to stay healthy. I handle stress so much better when I'm eating right and exercising regularily. I've just got to make myself do it.

Today was a new beginning.

Beth

Slipping a little...

Jun 18 2009 11:07

It happens way too easily. It's been a days (make that weeks?) since I logged and I've gained back 2 lbs. I know it isn't much but I also know it's a real gain and why it happened.

It started with just not counting. Then a little extra here, a little extra there. And skipping the exercise. First just justifying missing because I worked extra long at work and because I was tired but then I just skip.

I can't let this happen! I know where it leads. I must stay on track or I will end up back where I started and I never want to be there again. Heck, I don't even want to gain 5 lbs, never mind 50!

So, today I log. And tomorrow I will too. It's about discipline and it's a small price to pay for my health.

I'm still doing okay...

May 15 2009 17:08

I've been away for a while but I haven't fallen off the wagon. I'm maintaining around 148 to 150.

I've been extremely busy with work and family life but I'm still managing to get exercise at least 3 times a week. I get to the Y for my body pump and aerobics classes as much as possible. Sometimes I miss because of a birth but when I do, so far, I've been able to at least jog to make up for it when I do miss.

I wish I could do more but time just won't allow it right now. Building muscle takes hard work and time. I wish it could come easier but even thought its slow, I am noticing real progress. My arms are much more defined now. I'm sure if I was younger this would go quicker but I'm still determined that I can improve my body even though I'm 54 years old.

I'm still logging most of what I eat on NutriMirror. Their data base isn't as complete as CC but I still like the format much better. When they don't have something I need, I just look it up on CC and copy it to NM. Then I have it the next time I need it, too. (Sorry about that CC).

I miss chatting on the CC forums. Maybe I can get back to it if and when things slow down some. I think of you all often and hope you are doing well.

~ Beth

WOW! B/P changes

Apr 30 2009 11:20

I haven't taken my blood pressure in a while. Wow, I was a bit surprised at the results. And I took it several times over 3 days just to be sure. All readings were about the same. This morning's reading 92/56 and my resting HR is 54.

Exercise and good nutrition DOES pay off! Not bad for a 54 year old gal who landed in the ER just two years ago with high blood pressure, high cholesterol and heart palpitations. BTW, my last cholesterol check was in February and it was good, too.

And I've done this with absolutely NO pharmaceuticals what so ever. I do use some vitamin suppliments when I remember them.