stefffania's Journal
arg frusteration :SMay 22 2009 13:46
Well today is absolutely GORGEOUS outside, 25 degrees in Halifax and even though that would normally put me in a good mood , I'm completely not. I don't know if its the weight or if I'm restricting myself too much by not drinking that one cold glass of sangria when I've been so careful all week, but it's not putting me a in good mood. I think it's really a combination of the two, I can't believe I let myself get like this, (even though I've dropped a few pounds) and I know it's because I've never moderated or watched what I ate. A dinner in my house always was about 3x the size of a regular portion so I was in shock when I saw what came in Lean Cuisines for instance. I think that's why I'm scared to give myself a little treat now and then because not only do I want to lose this weight as quickly as possible, but I wonder if I have one snack will i be able to stop myself from having more? I definitely don't have a healthy balance, I'm always at one of the two extremes either definitely over eating by alot or barely getting enough calories each day when I get sick of myself. Lately, I've tried to change this, the past few weeks although I haven't seen the pounds come off as quickly as they've been coming off in the past when I did really calorie restrictive diets they have coming off at a slow pace. I think what bothers me the most is thinking baout if I lose it if i'll be able to keep it off or not.. dieting is one thing but lifestyle change is a complete other, and I think I've been only doing the former . I've been able to drop to 120 countless times but I always gained back the weight quickly because of my methods of doing it, I'm trying to make healthier choices and moderate portions and not deprive myself but still I just want to be at 115 , espeicallly on beautiful days like this where I get a little down about it. I think about how great it would be to put on a tight little red dress or some cute shorts without constnatly worrying if my legs look jiggly or if i should hold my arms away from my body to look slimmer. It's days like these that are hard, I know 17 pounds isn't impossible to lose but today it certainliy feels like it.
I understand what you are saying for sure! I have my weaknesses--chips are a huge one. I try to make sure that if I finally break down and buy some, I ONLY get an individual bag because I will eat a full sized bag in a day or two--which is horrible. I think that you just need to figure out what you can and can't control and cut out everything that you know you lose control on. It may be trial by fire sometimes! Find out what your weaknesses are and don't eat them. If you are going to give in, make sure it's controlled. But if you are having a craving, nothing else will fulfil it! On a side note, how much do you weigh? 137? (I'm guessing from what you said). I used to be pretty slim and even then, I had poor self confidence in my body and thought I was "fat." Now I am 50 lbs heavier and realize how dumb that was (I know this arguement is cliche) The MOST important thing you have got to have is confidence in yourself, in your body, even when you look your "worst." Because if you don't think you look good now, you will get stuck in that mindset and still think you look bad even when you're 120lbs. I feel good about how I look now, even though I've got a post-baby tummy and love handles. :) So, forget waiting to wear that little red dress. I'm sure you can find one at your current weight that will still look knock-out!! Stay motivated and positive and still feel good about your looks. |
Thanks for the encouragement !! Good luck on your goals and thanks for helping me with mine :) |
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