susie_58's Journal

new day
Jul 13 2009 10:26

Last night, I binged.  It wasn't a huge binge: two pieces of bread and butter, a couple of tablespoons of PB and honey, and one jolly rancher.  What was weird was that I was trying so hard NOT to binge since I'd had 4 binge-free days but it was like I couldn't stop myself.  I was upset about Kelley and her distance and unfriendliness and I knew Ken was upset too.  I honestly tried NOT to eat but I felt so driven to it.  It really made me understand that this IS an addiction that I'm dealing with and therefore, I need to take it much more serious than I have.  I needed to get out of the house and away from food.  Maybe just take the dog for a walk, sit on the patio with a cool, iced tea and my iPod--something different.

It's a new day and I've begun well: cottage cheese and a nectarine for breakfast and a 30 minute walk with Kelley around the neighborhood.  Good start!  Now I'm off to clean the house...

crazy day
Jul 10 2009 17:08

What a day!  Today, I felt REAL stress, not the kind that I put on myself.  I found out something that my adult daughter has been hiding from me that was soon going to affect the whole family.  I confronted her--she thought that if she just "handled" the situation that no one would ever know.  Well, guess what?  MOMs always find out!

We worked it out, but now I have to tell my husband about it.  I'm not looking forward to that--he's going to blow up!  He always rants and raves and then he's done, it's over.  I look forward to THAT moment tonight.

The best thing about today is that even though I had EVERY reason to binge, I did not.  I know that overeating will not make this situation better.  I am feeling so good and so healthy, why mess with that?

Yesterday
Jul 09 2009 15:52

Yesterday was a good day.  I was recovering from my binge from the day before so I didn't feel terrific but I managed to stick to my food plan and calories.  Praise God!  I'm feelin' great today!

binged again
Jul 08 2009 11:01

I binged again last night.  It wasn't major--a piece of bread and butter then spoonfuls of honey and peanut butter.  I'm not sure why I did it other than I was craving something sweet and was feeling a little bored.  I had also overeaten earlier in the day when we went out to lunch with my parents.  They arrived quite late so I was extremely hungry by the time we went out.  When I binged, I think I was already feeling like I had kind of blown it for the day so why not? 

What I am beginning to realize (too slowly ) is that if I choose to eat healthy, I can then reward myself with the fruit protein shake that I make for my husband in the evening.  I really enjoy it and its good for me.  Plus, I feel SO GOOD in the morning after I've had a good day with my food.  I love waking up feeling HUNGRY.  Today I woke up feel full, bloated, and heavy. 

How can I get myself to remember all the GOOD reasons to eat right?