susie_58's Journal

new day

Jul 13 2009 10:26

Last night, I binged. It wasn't a huge binge: two pieces of bread and butter, a couple of tablespoons of PB and honey, and one jolly rancher. What was weird was that I was trying so hard NOT to binge since I'd had 4 binge-free days but it was like I couldn't stop myself. I was upset about Kelley and her distance and unfriendliness and I knew Ken was upset too. I honestly tried NOT to eat but I felt so driven to it. It really made me understand that this IS an addiction that I'm dealing with and therefore, I need to take it much more serious than I have. I needed to get out of the house and away from food. Maybe just take the dog for a walk, sit on the patio with a cool, iced tea and my iPod--something different.

It's a new day and I've begun well: cottage cheese and a nectarine for breakfast and a 30 minute walk with Kelley around the neighborhood. Good start! Now I'm off to clean the house...

crazy day

Jul 10 2009 17:08

What a day! Today, I felt REAL stress, not the kind that I put on myself. I found out something that my adult daughter has been hiding from me that was soon going to affect the whole family. I confronted her--she thought that if she just "handled" the situation that no one would ever know. Well, guess what? MOMs always find out!

We worked it out, but now I have to tell my husband about it. I'm not looking forward to that--he's going to blow up! He always rants and raves and then he's done, it's over. I look forward to THAT moment tonight.

The best thing about today is that even though I had EVERY reason to binge, I did not. I know that overeating will not make this situation better. I am feeling so good and so healthy, why mess with that?

Yesterday

Jul 09 2009 15:52

Yesterday was a good day. I was recovering from my binge from the day before so I didn't feel terrific but I managed to stick to my food plan and calories. Praise God! I'm feelin' great today!

binged again

Jul 08 2009 11:01

I binged again last night. It wasn't major--a piece of bread and butter then spoonfuls of honey and peanut butter. I'm not sure why I did it other than I was craving something sweet and was feeling a little bored. I had also overeaten earlier in the day when we went out to lunch with my parents. They arrived quite late so I was extremely hungry by the time we went out. When I binged, I think I was already feeling like I had kind of blown it for the day so why not?

What I am beginning to realize (too slowly ) is that if I choose to eat healthy, I can then reward myself with the fruit protein shake that I make for my husband in the evening. I really enjoy it and its good for me. Plus, I feel SO GOOD in the morning after I've had a good day with my food. I love waking up feeling HUNGRY. Today I woke up feel full, bloated, and heavy.

How can I get myself to remember all the GOOD reasons to eat right?