tiatortilla95's Journal
Perception -----> It's a Bitch!Sep 10 2009 15:59
So, I've always known I've had a poor self image. Most...make that ALL of my teenage years were filled with insecurities. Then I married young, had babies and really had a reason to have a poor body image, I was obese for most of my adult life. For the last couple of years I have slowly built my self confidence and really started to feel good about myself....not just physically but also emotionally, and mentally. Now here I am, weighing the least I've weighed in nearly 12 years and I am falling back into that poor self image!! WTF?
I know what the problem is.....I compare myself to the people around me CONSTANTLY! It's ridiculous, I know, but I can't seem to stop myself. And back in Michigan, I was about average (in size) at around 200 lbs, both with my circle of friends and family and in the general public. I was always the fattest girl in the room anymore kinda thing. California on the other hand!!!! It really is like a freggin' movie! EVERYONE is thin! It's not like this is news to me or anything, but it is certainly different being in it everyday! I am already letting it get to me. Instead of thinking "wow I have come so far!" I just keep thinking "OMG, I still have so much to loose!"
I am trying to be conscious of my ridiculousness, and so far it is working. I am staying positive (for the most part) and trying to use this "feeling" as a motivator. Shortly after my entry last week I began sinking into a "I quit!" bing and was eating everything in sight! (Hence my disappearing act 
) Ipulled myself back together by the weekend and have been doing quite well all week!
I am excited about tomorrows weigh in and hoping I see a new number.....but will try to keep a POSITIVE perceptive no matter what it is!!
I am being rushed, gotta go help hubby dig into some boxes, will try to get back here later!!!
Asa Pastas!
Welcome to my world! The one good thing about all the crazy health consciousness here is that you often have more healthy options to choose from when trying to lose weight. All that crazy diet food is always well stocked at even the lowliest supermarket chain. Restaurants are very accomodating to special requests and often have more low cal options available. People will often serve some healthier foods at parties and BBQ's. Plus you can pretty much workout outside year round! And don't forget our glorious selection of fresh, local, delicious fruits and veggies. |
It is good to look at the people around you but remember you are you and no one else. I know it sounds hokey but you and only you can make changes and you need to look deep and see the real you inside. Beleive me I have been there and it has taken a long time to realize that there is a better person inside of all the fat. Just know what the ultimate goal is.. it may be to look better but above all it is to feel better and live a long life. That is the true you. Keep up the good work and it will all fall into place for you. |
Oh yes those California women. But, that has to be healthy to be around! And yes, part of the reason loads of people are like that there is that the atmosphere is very conducive to be healthy- being able to be active outside year round, and with the general uniform of clothing being more summery, it's hard to cover up and hibernate. Soon enough you'll be one of them, I know that it is going to be good for you- and you are thinner than you have been in years! Don't forget how far you've come, ok? |
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