tiatortilla95's Journal

Nose Dive Off the Deep End!!
Jun 23 2009 11:08

Yup! That about sums it up! Completely jumped ship about an hour after my last entry (on June 5th!).  I've been letting all those normal "excuses" come up and take over!  We have eaten out more in the last two weeks than we have in months!!  Snacks galore!  I've been eating ice cream, going for seconds, and drinking beer just about when ever I please!!!  I have only been to the gym twice! 

I have been doing my Tues/Thurs workouts with my neighbor, one of which is always a really vigorous w/o and the other a lil less intense. But seriously the way I have been eating, I was prolly over maintenance even on those days! Eeeessshhh. 

Things really have been insane!  Selling your house is a bit of a headache!  We end up being out of the house most evenings, cause we'll have one realtor coming between 5:30 and 6:30 then the next between 7:30 nad 8:30!  It's hard to leave for an hour, come back for an hour then leave again for an hour! Not to mention that whole concept of keeping your house clean and tidy everyday!!!  Who does this??? 

So, dinner at home has been challenging to say the least, which does help with the mess but does not help with either the pocket book or the waist band.  I need to make up a plan where I can make larger meals only a couple of days a week and we can just warm up leftovers.  If I've said it once, I've said it a million times ~ Healthy living/eating takes a lot of time and preperation!  If I really want to succeed I have to make that sacrifice!

So I will!  Though I am disapointed in myself for taking a 2 week hiatus after only having been officially "back" for less than 3 weeks from a month long hiatus, I am going to focus on the positives to get myself motivated! 
    -The "breaks" are getting shorter.
    -Though it is miniscule I have been maintaing some form of weekly exercise.
    -Since this year has began, even though I have had several slip ups I am still making progress. Kinda like 2 steps forward, one step back. 

That's about all I can come up with at the moment but I am happy with the first one alone!  While I guess it still remains to be seen if I am officially back "on the wagon" since breakfast today consisted of a donut and a bag of chex mix!  Oh and I did not bring lunch, so that means lunch out!!  I did workout this morning but it will take a great amount of restraint for the rest of the day to end up with any kind of deficit. Perhaps I'll shoot for maintenace and call it a wash!!?? LOL

I do feel like I'm ready to get back at it!  I can honestly say I miss my gym workouts!!  I am excited about going back, which I already have plans to do for tomorrow!! 

Well ladies, gonna go try to catch up all of you!!!  Happy Tuesday!!!

Almost into a new decade!
Jun 05 2009 10:11

I am so close to the 180's I could just burst!  Clocked in at 192 today and it's even the first day ot TTOM!!! I will surely be in the 180's by next week!!! Can not wait!  Technically I've never really even been in the 180's.  I was around 175 when I got pregnanat (12 years ago!) and by the time I had my first OB check up (about 2 months in) I had already gained 15 lbs!!  I did manage to slow down a bit after that bit still ended up gaining 50 lbs by the time I delivered!
So, I am hoping I will blow right through the 80's on the way down too!!

Things are going quite well.  We have actually decided to try and sell our house in a short sale.  We'd heard about them before but from what I had read up on them I did not think we would qualify.  I was under the impression there had to be some type of dire circumstances (job loss, death in the family) it couldn't  just be "we wanna move back home"! 
But in talking to a friend of a friend who is a realtor that specializes in short sales, he says we would most certainly qualify!  Being that Roberts company is in the auto industry and has significantly downsized and has serious potential of going under all together, has led him to pursue other oppurtunities and the oppurtunity that fell into his lap just happens to be out of state!  It's a technicality but he says right now the banks would much rather sign off on a short sale than risk going into forclosure. 
We'd much rather just sell it and be done with it!  But that also means he (the realtor) wants to start showing it right away!!!!  EEEEEKKKK!!!! So it's been a crazy week but things are coming together and I am feeling really optimistic about the whole thing.

Today is also "the big day" at work.  I am telling them today that I am leaving.  There's a whole mess of dram going on around here, I'll have to make that another entry though! 

Hope everyone has a fantabulous weekend!!!!

CW: 192
GW: 175
GD: 7-24-09

Friday
May 29 2009 09:17

Well we made it! It's Friday! YeeHaw for that!   I am happy to report that after 3 solid days of clean eating and lots of exercise I am back at my last logged weight of 194.4 from 2 Fridays ago.  Though technically this is a slight gain, cause I did weigh myself after that last logged weight (I think that following Sunday) and I saw 193.something....but, never logged it, so I'm calling the last 2 weeks a wash. 

I'm ready to jump back in and really push hard to get to 175.  I only have 8 weeks before the move (!!!!! OMG I ONLY HAVE 8 WEEKS BEFORE THE MOVE!!!!).  Seems like we were just toying with the idea and BAM, here it is! 

I don't think I mentioned but Hubby got that job at the hospital with his buddy.  It's not exactly what he's looking for but the pay is good and his boss (the friend) is fully ok with the idea of Robert just using this job to get us out there while he looks for something more to his liking! Which means he will be leaving sometime in the next couple of weeks. Somewhere around the 15th of June.  So we are srambling to get as many things done as we can before he goes. 

The biggest hurdle is our house. We know we want to rent it out but there are things we will surely have to fix before we can do that.  Mostly just paint and some serious elbow grease but there are some things like a leaky faucet, broken closet doors, incomplete moldings, mismatched cabinet pulls, you know all those little things that don't quite get finished in a project!  So I mostly need him to help me come up with a budget of how much we want to spend on all these fixes and also we need to decide how we want to rent the house.  Do we want to use an agency or try to just do it ourselves? 
We already know we're not going to get enough money from a renter to cover our monthly payment, so going with an agency is just going to cut into that even more! BUT they take care of everything for you! We do have family and friends that have already offered to be a liason of sorts if anything needed to be fixed but what I am most concerned about is finding a reliable tenant......ahhh, we'll see!!

OK, done rambling.  Happy Friday Ladies! Great Weekends to all!!!

CW: 194.4
GW: 175
GD: 7-24-09

6 day weekend???
May 26 2009 10:20

Apparently I decided my long weekend started last Wednesday!  Not that I've been off work since then just off counting and exercising! I even cancelled on my neighbor last Thurs.....well, we mutually agreed on Wednesday night as we were sitting on her porch with a cocktail in hand that we were not getting up at 5 am the next morning~ but still, not good! We haven't missed a Tue/Thur workout with each other all year!! 

That was really how it all started.... See, Hubby left Wenesday evening to go out  to Cali for an official interview at Chalk Hospital!  Yay!  His buddy is the head guy over there so we were pretty sure he was gonna get it but ya never know! Anyway he was gone through Sunday.  And I slipped into a "well he gets to go to Cali, I should relax a little too" attitude! 
Cocktails on Wednesday night, no workout Thurs morning, pizza, ice cream and a movie in bed with my boys on Thursday night, Taco Bell for lunch on Friday, a polish sausage dog the size of my head at the fair on Friday night (not to mention a lil cotton candy, a lil elephant ear....a lil of who knows what else???), Satuday started off descent, but after drinking way too much beer that evening, I ended up with the drunk munchies and ate my weight in doritos!
Hubby came home Sunday and we had to stop and get breakfast on the way home from the airport - McDonalds ....Hubby surprised us with chili cheese dogs from Weinerschnitzel (our fav!), then a family BBQ that afternoon, turned into a Memorial Day bonfire that night with Beer, and smores and MORE doritos!!

I attempted to make things right yesterday but to no avail. I ate 2 chili cheese dogs for lunch and continued to munch on junk all day and did absolutely nothing!!! We literally layed around and watched movies almost the entire day.  I think I was in a food coma! 

Now that I've confessed, I'm letting it all go!!  It's all behind me! I did get up this morning at 5am and had a great w/o with Monique and have already logged all my cals for the day!  I'm even planning a lil elliptical session tonight just to get me moving again.  I do feel awfully bloated and blah today.  Water will be my best friend for the next several days and I will wait until Friday to see the damage on the scale!

I really need to get myself in check! I have only 2 months before the big move! No time to waste!!!

Holy Rusted Fat Cells Batman!!!!
May 15 2009 09:39

I can not believe the number that was on the scale this morning! 194.4!! Not only is this unfreggin' believable considering just Monday I weighed in at 201.something, this is a brand new ALL TIME LOW in nearly 12 years!!! Last years low was 195. I kept getting on and off to be sure (haha, thought of you Katie!) I was almost afraid to get back on the second time but I had to be sure so I did it, and after the 4th read in a row of 194.4, I nearly did cartwheels out of the bathroom!!

I have had a great week both with exercise and food, but that's 7 lbs!!!....even with bloat and water retention which I know I had a bit of from last weekends food and beer fest but 7 lbs??  I don't know, maybe it's magic weightloss week?  LOL Whatever it is, however it happened, I can't explain it, but boy oh boy am I one happy little camper right now!!!

Well I still have entirely too much work to do so I better get to it!!! Happy Friday Ladies!!!

CW: 194.4
GW:169
GD: 7-24-09

That's 25 lbs in 10 weeks (about 2.5 lbs per week) - I got this!  

Gaining Control!
May 14 2009 10:28

Dare I say, I do believe I have regained control of this weightloss wagon I'm riding!  3 days in a row of clean eating, counting every calorie and 3 stellar workouts!  Ahh, it feels good to be back!  It's amazing how quickly my entire demeanor and outlook on just about EVERYTHING changes when I'm letting myself go.  I felt grumpy and overwhelmed, thinking I was never going to get anything right!  And just 3 days later, I see sunny skies and a world of opportunity in front of me!!

Work is getting crazy again buit this time it's because I'm now training another person. Not for my position (they still don't know) but because the gal that worked as our fill in, did a lil bit of filing, faxing, misc office stuuf was fired on Friday, and when the new person came in on Monday (family member of one of the owners) I was responsible for traingin him and still ahd to get my own work done! It's still chaos but getting a little better. 

But I am gonna keep this short so I can get ahead of the game today!  Just wanted to check i and let you all know I'm doing much better and on my way to 175!!!

A new day!
May 11 2009 10:13

I'm looking at today as a fresh start.  I am slowly spiraling just like I always do!  I can not let this happen!!!  I realized I do do better when I know I have something I'm working for (besides just the weight loss) like the money I won at work!  So Hubby and I put a little contest in motion! The deal is between now and the official move date which is technically still up in the air but scheduled for sometime late July/early August the "winner" has to have lost a minimum of 25 lbs. and if we both exceed the 25 then whoever lost the most will win. 

We have not decided what the winner will get though.  We both agree money is just silly cause it's our money anyway, so we are trying to think of something that we'll want bad enough to really work for, but not just be something we'd just go out and buy anyway! We're gonna give that a couple of weeks to ponder.  We weighed in this morning and I am sad to report I was 201.6.  I am sure some if it is just bloat from all the crap and beer I had this weekend but still, it sucked to see it.  I am not going to log it in here, I'm hoping by my official weigh in on Friday I'll be back in the 1's. UGH...

It's so weird, I can't figure out why this happens? It's like my motivation just packs up and high tails it outta town! I did hit all my normal "breakdown points" at once this time, which I'm sure isn't helping...I got under 200, went on a vacation and the weather began to warm up!  Each time in the past that I hit one of these points, I slowly start to fall back into old habits!  The next step is I stop logging on here! I can't let that happen!  I know being here and keeping weightloss/healthy eating/exercise on the front of my mind is a major factor! 

I'm gonna stop rambling now!  Better get some work done!  Happy Monday All!

OK, that's enough!
May 06 2009 10:08

It has not been a very good few days for me!   I knew it was the PMS, and my logical mind was telling me I need to just snap out of my funk, stop whining and put down the cheeze its! But my emotional, nonsensical mind is way too strong as it's powered by the pending arrival of good 'ol Aunt Flo!  Good grief, you'd think with as much technology we have, someone would have come up with some kind of pill that just makes this all go away!!!

Pretty much since Friday afternoon, I've been eating anything within reaching distance, tearing up at the drop of a hat (and even had a couple full blown melt downs!).  This is the worst it's been in a really long time, and I'm sure all the "other stuff" going on in my life right now is adding to it but geez louise!  I was actually glad to wake this morning and she was finally here! I am awfully crampy (which is very unusual for me) but I'll take it over the emotional rollercoaster I've been on anyday!

So, we finally told my Dad and Stepmom that we are going back to California.  I knew it would be tough and well it was.  My Dad was understandably upset and just started drilling us with questions..."what about your house?" "why would you take the boys out of these good schools to go to crappy ones?" (<---not true btw) "you won't be able to buy there, you're gonna waste your money on renting?" "you have good jobs, you're just going to walk away, that's nuts!"  And on and on and on.....  My stepmom just cried, she can not even phathom the thought of not having our boys in her daily life, I'm tearing up now just thinking of it myself.  They really are the best Mimi and Poppa in the world!

That was Friday night, the good news is by Sunday afternoon, they were actually entertaining the thought of moving back too!!!  My Dad was born and raised there, my stepmom moved there as a teenager (she's from Michigan, that's how we all ended up here!), and they didn't move back here til after they got married when I was like 14.   My Dad works for Chrysler and is laid off for at least the next 30 days and maybe longer! While that's not good news, deep down I was hoping they'd see it as a sign??!!  We'll see.

Monday, we finally got in contact with a realtor and though we had suspicions we found out the real value of our home in this lovely housing market! We've had the house for 6 years, within the first 2 years of living there we gained nearly 40 thousand as the market went up and up, so we decided to borrow against it, to pay off a bunch of other stuff (and did some frivilous spending! <--- we really are soooo bad with money!) Anyway, long story short we owe way more than it's worth now and there is no way in the world we could sell it!  So, we've decided to shoot for a renter, and even that will mean we are going to have to carry a bit of the mortgage for awhile, the rental rates in our area are about 300-400 less than our monthly payment.....plus still being responsible for any major repairs and such, just means we are going to be super duper tight in Cali.  We're now discussing the idea of living with Hubbys parents for awhile at least until I find a job and we can put away a little cushion.  While I know this would be the smart thing to do, oh boy it would be very hard! His parents are very old school and very controlling, I don't do well with people telling me how to raise my children and I know they would have no problem putting there two cents in about our child rearing!

So much to get in order and get done and more than likely by early June Hubby will be heading out to Cali on his own and I will be here to tie up all the loose ends! And I'm a stress eater!! NOT GOOD!

I have managed to get in a couple of good workouts, and as long as these cramps subside some, I will get to the gym tonight.  

Sorry for the long whiney entry!  Hope everyone gets through hump day!

The weekend is here!
May 01 2009 10:52

Well, I did not get up and exercise this morning!  But that was becasue I knew the BBQ tonight has been cancelled.   One of my neighbors was admitted into the hospital last night!  He's been having minor tummy troubles for a few weeks and apparently they got really bad yesterday. Docs still don't know what it is, but they were removing his appendix last night.  Hopefully that turns out to be the fix!

I am going to hit the gym tonight instead.  I am kinda looking forward to a quiet gym visit by myself (I'm not telling Jen that I'm going...is that mean?).  It's been awhile since I've been to the gym solo and I think I need that. 

I did jump on the scale this morning.  I am up 2 lbs from my pre-vacation weight.  I am actually ok with this (but that doesn't mean I'm logging it!).  I am still below 200 (yes Katie, it is permanent!) just barely (198.4) but I was really prepared to see a 200-something.  Although, now I am waaaayyyyy off schedule to meet my summer goal of 175 by June 26th.  That's nearly 3 lbs per week for the next 8 weeks straight!  I do not see that happening.  I am going to wait a couple of weeks before I decide how I will adjust this goal, but it is certainly going to need some tweeking!

Well, work is backing up again, I need to get on the ball, looks like I will be in here tomorrow! I still haven't told my job yet about the move, but until we have an official move date and hubby actually has the job I think, it's acceptable for me to wait, right?  I have sooooo much to organize and prep for whoever takes my position.....not looking forward to training someone either!  I am not very good at explaining how to do what I do, ya know?  I've been doing it for so long I almost forget how I know something....oh, it's going to be fun! 

Well, Happy weeekends to all!!!

Getting there!
Apr 30 2009 09:20

I did manage to make it to the gym last night, got in a good upper body strength training session but the cardio was only half hearted.  I promised myself that I'd get on my own elliptical at home later in the evening and well that never happened!  My eating was really good (minus the sugar cookie I sampled as I baked 3 dozen for my little guys class today).  He has his first live performance at school tonight!  He has a single line he has to speak on his own and for him this is huge!!!  He is so super shy, I can tell he's a little nervous!  It will be so adorable!

I also worked out this morning with my neighbor and we set up our little circuit training stations again and we went round and round for 40 minutes!!  It was awesome!  The only thing I hate about this w/o is I have no idea how to calculate my burn...I know I'm getting a good workout, sweating my booty off, heart rate stays up, and not much rest between stations.  Actually I have found "circuit training" in the activity log, but the burn it gives me is like half of what my elliptical burn is and I feel I am getting pretty much the same kind of out put doing the circuits....meh, I'm not going to worry too much.

I am worried about the weekend though!  I'm notorious for turing the weekends into a free for all and we're starting Friday night off with a neighborhood BBQ!  Which certainly means drinks and lots of good food!  We told some of our closest neighbors about the move and just as I suspected, it was difficult!  We really really have the BEST neighbors! We all get along so well!  sigh.....It's going to be an emotional couple of months!   But, my plan for the BBQ is to bring lots of veggies to grill, have no more than 3 (ok 4..........5 TOPS!) beers, and most importantly I will wake up early tomorrow morning to get in a good workout!

I am still debating on my weigh in tomorrow....I could just jump on and if it's up not log it, call it vacation gain and wait til next week to officialy take down my weight.....we'll see how I feel in the morning!

Smile girls, it's almost Friday!!!