tiatortilla95's Journal

Really, I can do this!

Nov 08 2009 20:44

So I am just about a week shy of being 2 months MIA. Typical for me this time of year! :) Though I did not reach my Halloween goal of 168 (surprise surprise!) I am happy to report I have not gained a pound! In fact my last weigh in, which was around the 26th or 27th, I weighed in at 184, so a few pounds down from my last recorded weight of 187. But add in a couple of Halloween parties and a very inactive week (or 2?) and I'm thinking I'll prolly be closer to the 187 again when I weigh in tomorrow morning. Meaning (and I think I've already said this) but I believe I have the maintenance thing down! I can handle a 3 lb fluctuation, now if only I could get it down in the 140-150 range!!

Which is exactly what I plan to do! Goal one: the halfway point is 20 lbs by my birthday (1-22-2010)! And to keep me motivated I believe I am shooting for a Vegas trip sometime around then! It always helps when I have something planned and need (want) to look fabulous for!

But in order to pay for that trip let's hope I have a job by then!! I've only just really started looking this past week. This is another reason I have found myself back at CC (besides just missing it!) I am certain starting back in the workforce is going to be difficult....exercise is going to have to be "fit" in again, late nights means less prep time for dinners (quick and healthy is just harder to do)....the usual routine of really "working" at this is going to hit me like a ton of bricks! I really have enjoyed this time off I've had! It seriously makes things easier. But all good things some come to an end. LOL And I know I will need CC to get me through~

I will update my weight and official plans tomorrow!!

What the H-E-double hockey sticks???

Sep 18 2009 12:39

How?? How is it humanly possible that I am up??? WTF??? I am soooooo completely peeved right now! I wish I didn't react this way, cause I've been here before, I know the scale does not reflect the big picture but geez louis!!! I really wanted to see a drop this week. I was very good all week!! GRRRRRRRR......

This does tell me one thing..... I NEED TO COUNT MY CALS! I don't know why it's been so difficult for me to do that again, that was always the easy part, knowing my menu, logging it in the morning and voila! I am making that priority #1 this weekend. Making a list of all my "usual" healthy choices, shopping for all of them and making a menu for the week!

In a fit of anger (typical behavior) I scarfed 2 pieces of pizza, and 4 buffalo chicken strips for breakfast this morning (hubby brought it home from the bowling alley!), it was greasy and delicious but now I feel crappy!! UGH...and what's worse is I was supposed to keep my cals way low today because tonight we are headed to my nieces to play some poker and celebrate her bf's b-day...there will be lot's of good food and drink! OIY! I just don't get me sometimes!!

I'm gonna go log what I've already had, plan the rest of my afternoon and see how long I need to ride my elliptical to minimize the damage! lol

When I saw the gain, the first thing I said to myself was "I'm not logging it!" but have since changed my mind...it is what it is....better to have an accurate record, right? So here it is....

CW:187.6
GW: 168
GD: 10-30-09

2 weeks ago this goal seemed doable, now it seems like yet another impossible goal I've set myself up to not reach!! Might change it to 175 but then I think...I just change my goal to fit my lack actually losing rather than the other way around!! Must ponder this today....think think think.

On the upside...it's FRIDAY!!! YAY for that, looking forward to the weekend! Hope you all have a great one!!

My little adventure!

Sep 17 2009 19:19

So with all the free time I have on my hands, I've been pretty lucky to spend as much time as I like on exercise! Like last week I walked for about 6 miles through a very prominent neighborhood with lots of hills and beautiful homes! It was fun! Today I decided to head to a local park that everyone raves about. It's set back in the canyons, has it's own little zoo, a train, horse rentals and tons more! Anyway I started off just walking thru the trail in the park and then noticed some people up in the mountain off to the side of the trail.....hmmmmm how'd they get up there??

I found the trail that led up to the mountain and before I knew it I was the only person around! Then I see a sign posted "DANGER - hikers stay alert, mountain lions and rattle snakes recently spotted along trail!" Ummmmmm, aren't I in the middle of a metro park?? LOL

I hiked on anyway and for the most part didn't even think twice about the possibility of there really being a mountain lion around. Then as the path started to head downhill I notice at the bottom that the path gets really narrow and is covered with bush on both sides! Should I?? Ya, I'm being silly, so I'm nearly to the bottom and Lord knows what it was but SOMETHING moved in the bushes to my left and I had no idea I could run as fast as I did (uphill even!!) LOL Once I was back at the top, and far enough away to breath normally again, I started laughing at myself!! I wish I could have had that on camera! Probably woulda won me the big prize on America Funniest videos! Especially since it was probably a squirrel that startled me!

I've certainly decided I enjoy exercise outdoors much more than in, and I LOVE not having to rush through it! It's gonna be hard to give this up! But on the flip side, this being broke thing is getting really old!! I like have money to burn! If I want a new pair of shoes, I want to be able to go get them! I think this last month just may be the first consecutive 30 days EVER that I have not shopped for anything frivolous! That makes me both very lucky and very lame at the same time!

Well, I am feeling pretty good about the week overall, 3 good workouts already and have kept the eating in check. Still not really "counting" though, I know I need to! Tomorrows the weekly weigh in, so we shall see!

Something interesting....according to CC my BMI is classified as moderately overweight but the 2 other BMI calculators I checked online still have me as obese.....also learned that 140 barely gets me into a "healthy" weight range at 5'3"....sooooo, I guess I will just play it by ear as I get closer to 150.

Well hubby just called and has been invited to bowling with his new co-workers! Haha, Katie he's probably gonna be in your shoes tomorrow! LOL

Now I suddenly don't feel like making dinner! My boys will be happy to hear they can have frozen pizza instead of chicken and broccoli but that means I have to make a healthy choice while faced with the freedom to choose anything in the fridge! Scarry!! hahaha

Wish me luck!

Totally thrown off!

Sep 16 2009 10:15

I am sitting here at my computer and (it's 7am btw) I hear a woman yelling at the top of her lungs! Of coarse the nosey rosey inside me goes to the kitchen to get a better listen and I realize it's the woman next door shouting at one of her kids (she has 3) and then I realize it's gotta be the littler one (7 or 8) cause she is screaming at this baby about not knowing how to spell (words like house and yellow and swam!)!!! Sounds like he maybe didn't do his homework (which at that age is sooo the parents job to make sure gets done!!!) And she's saying...no screaming "I am going to F-ing smack you!" OMG!!! I stood there in disbelief for about 15 minutes while it went on and on!

All I could imagine was this little boy sitting there trying to write while she yelled and yelled...I am in tears right now!! Then she started shouting "hurry up" and I heard the car start and they left...off to school, how is he supposed to have a good day now? WOW, people just amaze me! How could someone be so cruel to anyone let alone their own child??? My MIL had mentioned that the lady next door yells a lot, but that's the first time I've really heard it! I feel sad and so angry!!! I just want to go find him and hug him! UGH!!!

I woke up with all kinds of pep and energy and that just totally threw me for a loop! I need to go jump on my elliptical and clear my head!

Perception -----> It's a Bitch!

Sep 10 2009 15:59

So, I've always known I've had a poor self image. Most...make that ALL of my teenage years were filled with insecurities. Then I married young, had babies and really had a reason to have a poor body image, I was obese for most of my adult life. For the last couple of years I have slowly built my self confidence and really started to feel good about myself....not just physically but also emotionally, and mentally. Now here I am, weighing the least I've weighed in nearly 12 years and I am falling back into that poor self image!! WTF?

I know what the problem is.....I compare myself to the people around me CONSTANTLY! It's ridiculous, I know, but I can't seem to stop myself. And back in Michigan, I was about average (in size) at around 200 lbs, both with my circle of friends and family and in the general public. I was always the fattest girl in the room anymore kinda thing. California on the other hand!!!! It really is like a freggin' movie! EVERYONE is thin! It's not like this is news to me or anything, but it is certainly different being in it everyday! I am already letting it get to me. Instead of thinking "wow I have come so far!" I just keep thinking "OMG, I still have so much to loose!"

I am trying to be conscious of my ridiculousness, and so far it is working. I am staying positive (for the most part) and trying to use this "feeling" as a motivator. Shortly after my entry last week I began sinking into a "I quit!" bing and was eating everything in sight! (Hence my disappearing act ) Ipulled myself back together by the weekend and have been doing quite well all week!

I am excited about tomorrows weigh in and hoping I see a new number.....but will try to keep a POSITIVE perceptive no matter what it is!!

I am being rushed, gotta go help hubby dig into some boxes, will try to get back here later!!!

Asa Pastas!

Finally Settled!

Aug 30 2009 15:35

Oh where do I begin??? Well, the move out here was nice. We took 5 full days and had a great time driving cross country. It took us several weeks to really get things situated at my in-laws place....I think I mentioned that's where we are staying for awhile. I could not be more grateful but in the same breath....it is HARD living with the hubby's family! Just because they are older and so set in their ways, bringing in 4 people and 2 dogs really threw them for a loop! Not to mention his mom loves to cook!! And it is hard to say no to her cooking....it's the "real" mexican food! Homemade everything! Oy! But I have been doing pretty good actually!

On another note.....the job hubby had lined up has been put on hold for a few weeks!!!! So we've been here nearly a month and neither of us have a job! We are ok so far but getting close to panic mode. I haven't really looked yet but hubby has been at it daily and just can't seem to land one. Hopefully soon though.

My boys have already started school which was a real shocker to us when we got here! My sister in law who works for the school had told me that they would be starting after Labor Day, so I believed her, never checked into it myself.....so I thought I had the rest of August to get them enrolled and such...ummm more like a week and a half from the day we arrived! It was nuts but we got it done and I must say I am soooooo incredibly happy with the way they have adjusted! they both love their new school and at least a couple of times a week one of them say something like "Man I love living in California!" Thank God! Al the trips to the beach are probaly helping with that just a bit!

We are very happy to be home....broke and jobless but we're home! And it feels good!

Getting into a routine with eating and exercise has been a little difficult but I think I've got a grip on it! This was the first week I was consistent with eating "healthy" and exercising. And the first time I weighed myself in nearly 2 months!! While I am very pleased with the NEW number on the scale ~188.2!!!~ I KNOW I have lost muscle....I can feel it all over but I am still jumping for joy! I was only in the 180's once in my lifetime and it was when I was pregnant with my first son (he's 11 1/2!).

My current goal is 168 by Halloween! I will be keeping to my Friday weigh ins and need to get back to counting! And doing weights! No gym so I need to get creative!

Alrighty my CC friends!!! It's good to be back and I will be seeing you all around!!

Challenge? What Challenge?

Jul 21 2009 08:54

Well I'm sure you've all noticed my absence, huh? Ahhh, it's been nuts! What was I thinking starting something so vigorous and trying to move acoss country at the same time! Not gonna happen! Though I am happy to say I have managed to maintain-ish =). I forgot to check before I started this but I do believe my last logged weight was 194 something, and I am sitting tight at 195 something, with the typical weekend bloat...so I'm not complaining!

I do however need to get some exercise in over the next couple of weeks! In the last 14 days I have worked out 2 times!! That's terrible! I really do feel it too. I went for a walk/jog (is that what people call a wog??) with my neighbor last night. We went to the park and they have this little trail that has some mini hills and we power walked most of it but we would run up the hills...while pushing her double stroller with about 45 punds of toddlers inside! It was fun and felt really good. Then we woke early to get in our morning circuit training today! So, I am feeling a lil better, just need to keep going!

So, we are in the midst of packing, selling, organizing and boy is it stressfull! The bickering over whether or not we're keeping 50 old magazines or two boxes of party supplies!! Sheesh! But we are getting things done at least. My official last day of work is next Tuesday!! We pick up the moving truck that Friday (the 31st), have a HUGE going away party planned that Saturday (the 1st) Sunday will be recovery day~ , and Monday the 3rd we are California bound baby!!! I am so unbelievably excited!! I know it will be hard to say goodbye to everyone here, but the excitement is definitly helping!

I will not jinx myself with another "challenge" but I will promise to do my very best over the next few weeks!! I probably won't be on much but as soon as the dust settles in So Cal I will be back at it!

Happy Tuesday all!!!

30 Day Challenge - Day 6

Jul 06 2009 09:28

I do believe I need to find a way to work a 3 day weekend into every month! Makes life so much easier! The family BBQ was a blast! I did get in a great workout on Friday and Saturday, which made it much easier to enjoy all the yummy food and drink we had!

Yesterday was mostly spent relaxing on the front porch, while the boys ran thru the sprinklers! It was beautiful! Ahhhh....

Back to the grind today though! More training of the new girl, and trying to get my desk in order! I have 3 more full weeks of work and then that last week of July I'll only be working a couple of days, if needed. Man, I can not believe how fast it's going. Still so freggin much to do! And this Saturday is my baby boys' 6th b-day! I haven't purchased a single item for the party yet! Uh-oh!!! It really is going to be a crazy month! But I wouldn't have it any other way!!! hahahh

Gym night tonight, and I really am looking forward to it! I already know I'm going solo, so I plan on making it an all cardio night! I am fighting the temptation to weigh myself every other day, so I had to lock up Mr. Scale again! He's buried in my closet til Friday! With Aunt Flo set to arrive any minute, it'd just be a bad idea to hop on right now anyway! I let the number mess with me way too much! No time for derailing!! LOL

Well, I hope you're all having a fantastic Monday!!!

30 Day Challenge - Day 3

Jul 03 2009 10:57

OK, so no horn tooting after only 2 days, but I have been super good over the last couple of days! Fighting temptation at every turn! Gym on Wednesday night was fantastic! I sound like a broken record but GOSH!!!! I wish I could just make myself remember how good I feel after a great w/o when I'm starting that back sliding thing. Ah well, maybe someday!

Got up this morning at 6am! to work w my neighbor (we missed yesterday) and we did our circuit training. I really don't get how I can pop out of bed at 5:45 when I don't have to go to work but 7am feels impossible on any other day?? Sheesh.

Since I missed yesterdays w/o I am adding another 30 mins on my elliptical today. Most of the day will be spent doing housework, and getting everything ready for the 4th of July BBQ tomorrow!

I am planning on getting as much exercise as I can today and hitting the gym tomorrow morning for some serious cardio! I plan on enjoying our BBQ, so it will take quite a bit of exercise to make that deficit I promised myself! I know I can do it tho!

Happy Friday everyone!!

30 day challenge - Day 1

Jul 01 2009 09:39

Well, since my last entry I can't exactly say I've been back on the wagon. I've certainly been better but still fighting to get in any exercise! Can't let this start happening again, I know the exercise is what keeps me on track! Keeps me feeling energized, and strong, which all makes me want to eat right and stay focused.

And I only have 4 1/2 weeks before we leave for California!!! AHHHHHH!! So, I'm going for a 30 day challenge of some sort. Not sure what yet, but I want to set some weekly exercise goals (beyond my norm), and maybe some food challenges???? I'll come up with something today and post it tomorrow! Most importantly, my biggest goal is to stay connected here on CC! Counting everything and keeping my journal updated at least 3 times a week!

I better get going though, I have started training my replacement at work, and it makes things a lil hectic, trying to get real work done while training someone!

30 Day Challenge - Day 1:

CW: 196.8
GW: 175
GD: 7-31-09

I know, that's a pretty crazy goal, but I figure I'll aim high and hopefully come out somewhere close!

Happy Wednesday (but really isn't it Thursday for most of us???) All!!!

Edit**********DETAILS OF THE CHALLENGE********

EXERCISE:

GYM- 3 days per week - 2 days = 30min cardio 20min weights
1 day = 1 hour cardio
Workout w/neighbor - 2 days pr/wk (40 mins cardio/weights, usually a DVD)
on these days also add - 30 mins on elliptical @ home
Workout at home - 1 day pr/wk - 1 hour of cardio (either elliptical or DVD)

FOOD:

-Absolutely no fast food from now thru July 31st (except for Subway)

-Drinks only 1 night pr/wk (Fri or Sat)

-Mon-Fri and Sun - cals between 1300-1500

-Saturday - cals can be whatever I want as long as I maintain a minimum 800 calorie deficit (even if that means spending 2 hours on my elliptical!)

That should just about kill me but if the ppl on BL can do it, why can't I???