vanessarose's Journal

When to stop? or... Will I ever be satisfied?
Jul 25 2009 12:33

18 months ago when I decided to lose the weight I'd slowly packed on, I had a few goals in mind: fit in my pants again, get my lower body more proportionate with my upper body, and lose the cellulite from my butt and backs of my thighs. I wanted to feel comfortable with what I saw in the mirror again, and figured losing 10 lbs (from about 118 to 108) would do it.

Then I got to 108 and found I wasn't happy yet, the only goal I'd accomplished was fitting into my pants. So I set a new goal of 105, thinking 3 more pounds would get me to the size I wanted to be. Now I'm getting close to that I'm wondering if I'll even feel good about myself at 105. My saddlebags are still there, the cellulite is only half gone, and though I know I'm not fat, when I look in the mirror I still feel like my lower body is bigger than it should be.

I'll never go below 105 because I know that anything lower than that puts me in the unhealthy BMI range, so now I'm wondering if I'm just stuck with the bumps and dimples I have. It's kind of depressing to think that, but I've promised myself not to give up. Once I'm 105 I'll eat to maintenance and start working on building muscle and losing those last few inches.

Curse you evil pear shape!!! :-)