victoriagirl's Journal

Wish all weekends could be that great!
Oct 20 2009 12:53

I had a wonderful weekend, everything turned out great!

The play was really fun, we had to follow the actors around the castle, up and down staircases and even outside...it was a foggy night, just perfect for Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde! Awesome.

Then onto the party at my bookclub lady's place, we went straight from the play figuring we'd be late but were actually the first ones there, haha!But it wasn't uncomfortable at all, in fact it was nice to have a chance to sit and chat with our hosts before everyone else started coming. It's a lovely group of people, my friend C and her husband came as well and everone was so very nice and interesting. I drank a lot but didn't get too drunk or anything, everyone was drinking a lot but not to sloppiness, just having a good time, like it should be! There were conversations about music and literature and travel and cheese....ADULT conversations but not at all stuffy, just very casual and fun. Imagine!! Not at all like my previous experiences of house parties which were a very long time ago in my twenties, granted.And everyone was so nice...no reason to be anxious at all!

Sunday Joel and I slept in late, had a leisurely breakfast, and then took a bus downtown. He got a much-needed haircut, I bought a much-needed pair of knee-high boots (yay!! Found some that actually fit my big calves!) and then we walked around, saw a cool Moroccan restaurant we want to try someday, bought a pile of groceries and took a cab home with them. It was a really nice laid-back day.

Yesterday I had my painting class, finished up both of my two first paintings. I am quite happy with them. One is abstract in warm tones of browns and golds wit hsome texture, the other is the starry-night-esque one. Next I have a couple ideas for new paintings....one an abstract in blues and greys, like a sky preparing for a storm, and then a row of black crows on a wire across it. So not totally abstract. The other, a skeleton sitting on a vanity chair with crossed legs and jewellery, on a black and red background, very dark yet kitchy-voodoo-y. I started the skeleton one last night after I got home from class, as I was all excited about the idea....and am using a canvas I had lying around. It was a painting my ex did of me, but I always hated it because it was not originally me, it was another fat girl and he just put my face on it. It pissed me off for the obvious reason, and because it reminded me of how he used to claim all fat girls look basically the same, and because it made me look bigger than I ever was even at 340 lbs. So I gleefully painted it over in black and will be ironically painting a skeleton on it. Ha.

Today I got an email that I've been short listed for a PO position. I have to answer a skill-testing question in essay format, deadline in two days, Yikes!! We'll see how it goes.

I've been ahving more anxiety dreams, pretty sure they relate to me not being at all on target, calorie-wise. I don't know what's wrong but I can't seem to get back on track....maintenance would be fine but I am way over that. Ever since Thanksgiving weekend. I am having a lot of trouble with my feelings about it.... I was supposed to have conquered food guilt and stuff. Ack. Joel says i put tooo much pressure on myself to be perfect...I don't think that's the case. I KNOW I can't be perfect, but in the freakin ballpark would be nice. Today I try to stick to 1700. Tomorrow, we'll see. One day at a time.