victoriagirl's Journal

No Monday Blues this week!
Apr 28 2008 09:48

I ended up having a really great weekend, my boyfriend had to cut his trip short so he came back to Vancouver on Friday, picked me up from my sister's place and we spent the weekend together...yay! I feel a little guilty for dumping my sister as soon as Joel came back into town, but I am sure she understands....plus next weekend he is away for sure, so I will spend that weekend with her. It's so difficult living apart from my loved ones, but weekends like this make it easier.

Poor Joel was fighting off a flu though, but....I swear he is the only man I have ever known who is still interested in sex even when he feels like crap. He didn't want to get me sick too, so no kissing, we joked it was "hooker sex" lol. We spent Saturday at my parent's place, had a birthday dinner for my sister, I made my famous wonton soup (SO delicious). On Sunday Joel had to be in the recording studio all day so I went with him then took off for a few hours to go babysit my nephew...he is the cutest kid on the planet I am sure.

I went back to the studio and brought the hungry bandmates a reuben loaf I had baked up at my sister's place, which was well-appreciated, then Joel took me back to the ferry but we missed it by a few minutes...so we had two hours to kill before the next one. I won't go into graphic detail but I will say we found a most convenient location and I can now say I have had sex in a public washroom (it was in a park that was closed for the season, immaculate, and had a locking door, otherwise I would not have considered it, but as things were it was fun and naughty and pretty hilarious).

I did my Monday-morning weigh-in and I am down another 3 lbs, yay! Last week was only one because I was retaining fluid due to TOTM, so they average out to 2 lbs per week, which I am totally happy with. Keep on truckin'.

And, I have no time to feel down about it being Monday, because tomorrow I head back to Vancouver before flying off to northern BC for an Aboriginal cultural event for work. I will be gone almost a whole week in total, since I will stay in Vancouver for the weekend afterwards. My cats will hate me...and I have a lot of stuff to take care of tonight, so yeah no rest for the wicked. I am not really wicked though. Well maybe just a little wicked ;)

Less than 100 to go!
Apr 25 2008 14:34

Yay, I hit 279 today, just 99 more lbs to go!

I am 28% of the way to my goal of 180. My body finally relented and gave up the water it was retaining for TOTM, I knew last week's loss of only 1 lb. was bs! Actually the scale originally said 277, wooo, but I didn't believe it so i got on again and it said 279. Quick, buy, before it goes up more! lol

I tried on a bunch of summer clothes I bought in 2006. I am only a few pounds away from what I was down to back then....and will leave that in the dust by June! Anyhoo, the sundresses were actually loose, and some of the tops were too, compared to last year when i could hardly get them on and didn't wear most of them. Yay! Very pleased about that. So I thought I'd try on a dress I made way back in 1993 or 4....didn't quite fit but darn close. I feel like I am turning back time!

better today :)
Apr 24 2008 15:48

I guess it was just the TOTM junk yesterday, I feel much more positive today, thanks for the support guys!

Last night I wanted to snack like mad. Combo of TOTM and missing the boyfriend, brutal. Thank goodness my cals during the day were fairly low so I had a few hundred to play with...had a Eating Right ice cream sandwich, a banana, a piece of cheese, and 1/4C of the vegetable barley soup i made for lunches. Cooking is very soothing to me, I am glad to have the outlet, and spending 33 cals on a healthy soup is ok by me even at 11 pm! Even after all that post-dinner snacking, I managed to stay within daily target. Whew. It was really scary though, I havene't felt that need to snack in a long time. In the past it would have certainly led to a binge. I contained it...but it felt a little like holding back the beast. I had hoped the beast was gone.

I read an article today about how exercise does not cause weight-loss. I am hoping to use it to justify not going to the gym hehe. It even made an argument for how working out hard actually increases hunger as your body is trying to get back the calories it burned, so can actually harm your attepts at reducing your calorie intake and sobotage your weight-loss. I always knew the gym was evil.

Disclaimer: I am totally kidding, this article is NOT telling the whole story, of course exercise is beneficial so those of you who recently started going to the gym, keep up the good work! The author does not endorse, support, or agree with the views expressed in that article and mentions it only as a vain attempt to justify own laziness.

Why boohoo when you can yahoo?
Apr 23 2008 11:55

I am feeling very miserable today, TOTM combined with low weight-loss for the week (which can likely be traced back to TOTM) and grey bleak weather and I am facing the next two weeks without seeing my bf. Boohoo. Plus my co-workers are yelling at eachother and stressing me out.

So. I put on my ipod, I am writing in my journal, and my bf just emailed me to say i am the sliced skin-on kiwi in his friut salad (we love skin-on kiwi!) so what can I possibly have to complain about eh. Turn that frown upside down!!!

It's been a tough week though...I have really bad cramps this time, sometimes they are not bad but this month they are killing me. Everything seems worse when you have to face it with cramps. And I am really sad about not seeing the bf for two weeks...very hard. I miss being together every evening, making dinners together, just hanging out, having sex whenever we wanted. Now we have to cram everything into the weekends, and sometimes have to skip a weekend. It's f-ing hard and I miss him! Sometimes I think the only thing that's keeping me going is my pre-occupation with food and diet and exercise and making it all work. I guess that's a good thing. Otherwise I might be filling my face with eclairs to dull the loneliness!

Okay maybe a little less yahoo and a little more boohoo :S

Body comp results: Not Very Exciting
Apr 18 2008 09:11

I am not sure what I was expecting but I feel vaguely let down by yesterday's monthly body comp results.

My weight was down 8 lbs, exactly as I predicted (guess the water flush worked!), plus i gained 1 extra lb of muscle but I think that's just inaccuracy of the machine, I didn't really work out enough to gain muscle though I am relieved I did not lose any.

The measurements were all wacky, some up some down...the Perky Stick Girl is a fairly new employee so I think she just does not have enough experience to do it consistently. The only one I really trust is the waist, because I placed the tape in the right place myself, and that was down 3 inches so that's cool.

Maybe I was expecting to have lost more weight than my unpredictable scale tells me. I dunno. Maybe I just wish it would go faster or that I was further along...8 lbs in one month doesn't seem like much, though I don't want to lose any faster than 2 lbs a week, that's for sure....the math is not co-operating with what I want!

Also....I am still at a BMI of 43. Which invloves that icky m-word and the equally icky o-word. I will be pleased when I get below 40 then at least it will be just o not m. It's weird, I really don't feel morbidly obese, I have a hard time even writing it. It's just not how I see myself. My older sister also struggles with her weight and has been on a diet plan, I asked her how it was going and she daid she is at 163 lbs...163!! I am over 100 lbs heavier than her!! I just don't see it, or rather feel it.  It will be nice when my outsides match my insides!

Holy panic at the disco! ACK!
Apr 17 2008 09:19

I have my monthly body comp appointment at the gym later today. I have been looking forward to it.

So I get on the scale this morning (yes I have gone back to daily weighing) and I was horrified to see it was up 3 LBS. Ack! So after calmly contemplating why this might be, after so consistently moving downwards, I remembered that yesterday was a huge sodium day. I put too much soy sauce in the stir-fry, basically, and ended up at 4500 mg for the day, which is about double what I usually aim for. And I have the leftovers for lunch today.

So...what are the chances of flushing the excess sodium out of my system before 5:30 today? Probably not good. I am disappointed because I wanted to proudly show how much weight I lost this month. Even if it was just to the Perky Stick-Girl at the gym. Sigh.

Why do I bother?
Apr 14 2008 23:44

So I was going through my closet, packing up the winter clothes, and setting aside anything that's too big now for SallyAnn. And at the end had almost no winter clothes to pack up! Being pretty proud, I've mentioned it to a few people, and wondered whether I should keep them just in case. Most people have been very encouraging and said Good for you! and Definately get rid of them!

Then I called my mom.

She said oh yes better keep them just in case. Why did I even ask??? And not a single "Good for you" or "Way to go" either. I have a long history of losing, gaining back more, losing, gaining back more....I know it's different this time, I can feel it, and know that she has no reason to know that...but it's a little discouraging to get such a vote of non-confidence. Thanks mom. Now I am questioning whether I SHOULD actually keep them. And questioning my own judgement for asking her in the first place. I mean, if you ask a question you have to expect you might not like the answer!

Pita pizza...yummy AND healthy!
Apr 12 2008 21:07

I am posting this recipe I made for pita pizza, so many people comment that they miss pizza and this is a healthy alternative. My boyfriend and I actually like it more than real pizza, it's non-greasy cuz it's so low in fat, has a nice crispy thin "crust" and tastes so flavourful...to die for!

For the pizza:

Take one whole wheat pita and spread with a mixture of: 2T tomato paste, 2T water, italian herbs, s&p. You likely won't need all of it, but I like it saucy. Place 8 rounds of soy pepperoni (I like Yves) on the sauce layer, then layer on sliced red pepper, red onion, mushrooms, and jarred artichoke hearts. Grate 30g skim milk mozza, 30g skim milk cheddar, and combine with 1t parmesan. Spread over veggies, pushing into crevices and piling remaining on top. Bake at 400F for about 10 minutes, then broil for 1 more minute if you like it a little brown on top like I do.

I love this pizza for several reasons: using tomato paste instead of prepared tomato sauce lets you control the sodium and is intensely flavourful. The soy pepperoni has almost no fat, as does the skim milk cheese, so your pizza does not get greasy. The bit of real parmesan in there gives a nice texture and browns (Skim milk cheese melts well but if you try to brown it on it's own, it goes a little weird). And the best part:

Calories: 396

Fat:7

Protein:39

Carbs:52

Fibre:7

Sodium:899

You can use 15g less cheese to make it even lower, but I lik it cheesy! Last time I made it I added some turkey sausage and it was STILL under 500 cals...sodium is a bit on the high side but overall ok as long as you don't have a side of pickles ;)

Goals, life-wise
Apr 11 2008 16:50

Just to balance out the number goals, I thought I'd come up with some goals that are more life-oriented. I have no idea what order they will occur in, except for the sizes of course, the rest is all a mystery to discover! I warn you...some of them are very personal are probably TMI!

1. Fit back into my size 22 pinstripe work pants
2. Fit into the capri pants I bought last summer that never fit
3. Wear my high heeled boots all day without dying
4. Be able to have sex in missionary position while kissing at the same time!
5. No longer worry my ass will be too big for a chair
6. No longer need a seatbelt extender on planes
7. Throw away all size 24/3x clothes because they are too big
8. Be able to stand in front of a mirror and see my own crotch instead of just belly
9. Bike to work
10. Lose the double chin
11. Be able to jog on treadmill for at least 5 minutes
12. Wear my boyfriend's pinky ring on my ring finger
13. Fit back into my size 18/20 non-stretchy fabric top
14. Never have to worry about skin rashes under my belly again cuz it no longer touches
15. Wear my high heeled pumps all day without dying
16. Lose the thigh-fat folds
17. Lose the back-fat folds
18. Be able to jog on treadmill for at least 10 minutes
19. Ride a roller coaster
20. Run
21. Fit into a size 18 pant
22. Be able to have sex against a wall,standing up
23. Buy rollerblades
24. Look forward to going to the gym instead of trying to avoid it
25. Fit into a size 16 pant
26. Become proficient on rollerblades
27. Shop in regular stores/depts, not plus-size
28. Tuck a shirt into my pants and have it look good
29. Fit into a size 14 pant
30. Wear a mini-skirt and look hot
31. Wear a bathingsuit in public without embarassment
32. Fit into my skinny jeans from 1990 that I havent had the heart to throw away
33. Join a rollerderby team
34. Fit into a size 12 anything!

Goals, numbers-wise
Apr 10 2008 23:41

Okay, for the life of me I can't figure out how to add a Bio section to my page, so I am just going to post my goals in a journal entry here...I've seen people post them and tick them off as they meet each goal, looks pretty cool so I want to join in!

Goals:

1. 299: Under 300! (25/02/08)
2. 284: 25% to goal weight of 180 (11/04/08)
3. 280: 100 lbs to go (25/04/08)
4. 270: Back to where I left off 2 years ago (09/06/08)
5. 267.5: 50 lbs lost (04/07/08)
6. 262: BMI Obese Class II
7. 255: Approximate weight at age 22
8. 250: 50% to goal weight
9. 240: 100 lbs less than my highest weight of 340
10. 229: BMI Obese Class I
11. 220: I’ve never seen this number on a scale
12. 217.5: 100 lbs lost
13. 216: 75% to goal weight
14. 199: Under 200!!!
15. 196:  BMI no longer obese, just Overweight
16. 190: Only 10 lbs from goal weight
17. 180: Goal weight
18. 170: What I weighed in 1990 (age 19) when I was a hot tamale
19. 164: BMI Normal - oh to be normal!